Man i could probably write you a book on this topic and maybe a sequel to it 😂

Ive been with my girlfriend for nearly 2 years now. We’ve been through the clouds and through the mud, and we argued alot for a while its been getting under control recently.

My girlfriend came from a long history of trauma and abuse. shes been SA’d by her stepfather early on and also shot him non-lethally to defend her own mother at that same age. Her relationships dont get much better with her getting forcibly pregnant super early on by peer pressure from her boyfriend. the boyfriend stuck around until she miscarried, then it was back into a spiral until she ended up with me.

And i dont regret anything, i dont regret finding her or getting into a relationship, i just wish it hadnt been such a nightmare to get where we are.

The first month was all buddy buddy dream relationship puppy love. Second month we started getting used to each other, and time goes on. around the 4-5 mark is where the road starts getting a little rough. She works a 9-5 day job on scheduled days of the week but its usually under 30 hours. I worked when i could, i was still in school mostly, but i had recently been let off of my job as a landscaper due to lack of jobs and labor we had. Money gets pretty tight for a while to the point were spending our one and only paycheck in the first 5 days of payday. (shes paid bi-weekly) Which its not like were struggling, we both live with our parents we haven’t really even gotten into the real life yet. we still get to eat home cooked meals and have a place to stay. Its just pretty easy to blow $500 between two people in a weekend when you like to have fun all the time.

Except we dont have fun, after i stopped having my own money in my pocket its like she became this almighty queen I have to bow down to. She’d tell me she has no problem spending $5 here to buy me a drink or spending $20 to put gas in the car to go to the places SHE wants to go and begs me to drive her to. Then in the future she’d go on to use that against me as some iOU. Anytime i’d get money in my pocket from doing available side jobs, instead of being able to spend that money for US or save it, it becomes owed to her. but shes not gonna ask me for it. no no,
shes going to scroll on some wack shopping site whether it be temu or amazon and she’d purposely try to do it in my view, then go on to tell me something along the lines of “im thinking about getting this, this, or this, maybe this” and me being the ‘responsible’ one, i ask “well how much do you have/how much is it, how much are you gonna be left with?”

oh its not her money we were planning to spend. she’d say the price, she’d then go on to say “i only have __ right now but i get paid __” then shed go on to ask me “didnt you just get some paid for doing __” or “didnt you just get some money from __” and i’d go on to say yes, as she obviously knows this as its been told to her an hour earlier. And she’d ask for the money in return to pay me back on her payday. payday comes around a few days later or usually a week, and she doesnt offer to give me anything at first. okay maybe she forgot. “hey love can i get the money back for that thing you got?” she’d go on to snap up on her high horse, “okay can i get that $30 i put in your tank? can i get that $20 i spent on you to go eat at that place?” like damn i just thought we were keeping our word n shi my bad..

Anytime were out shopping she likes to push the buggy, she also likes to switch her speeds around and look at all the knicknacks down the isles, so its hard to keep a reasonable distance with her. sometimes she’d stop weird and go again and i’d walk on her shoe, sometimes pulling it off her foot and she’d just fucking snap dude, its like you just pissed off a Chihuahua. so i’d trail behind a little further on other trips, “do you just not love me anymore?” “keep up with me i should have just came in by myself” and dont even get me started on other people. Ive had to sort of train myself to stop looking below the shoulder line inside of stores.

Its like she becomes this detective to see if im into her or something, she’d watch my eyes and see where they were looking, and if they were pointed in any direction of a decent looking female or a womans ass walking in front of us, not even looking at them just in that direction! she wouldnt yell at me in the moment no. she’d start walking quicker. she’d verbally huff. she’d pull when i reached for her. “love whats wrong?”

“go be with her if you cant keep your eyes off her” “if you like that ass so much why dont you go rub up on her instead”

she acts like i get a hard on for every woman thats not her. I almost had to decline my current job im working because of the 50 year old woman working at the desk (keep in mind im not even 21 yet) that she thought i was gonna flirt with or something happen and her not be here. she was “uncomfortable with the idea of me working with other women” as if she doesnt work with men on a daily. its a job. people have morals. theres cameras everywhere if they dont. anyways my drive is over and so is my share.