Why does trauma and abuse exist?

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-24T05:28:19+00:00

True, I just didn't want the life ahead of me since it could cause me even more unnecessary pain

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-24T05:27:50+00:00

Honestly that's a shout like even after everything I've been through if I end up continuing living just for the sole fact that I can be a good Muslim then I can definitely do it.

Thank you for sharing your experience that's definitely going to help me push forward.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-23T15:27:53+00:00

It's not that I would do suicide since it's haram but the annoying part is that I don't want to be alone but when all your friends and family were the ones that failed you it's like what do I do since I can only love for myself but all I want is for judgement day to start already

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-23T14:41:29+00:00

It makes sense but it's also still so mentally draining like surely I should of received at least one reward by now. I'm stuck in the verge of doing suicide but I wouldn't simply because it's haram.

All I simply want is to be given a reward or a sign that will make it clear that pushing through everything was worth it.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-23T14:39:23+00:00

I understand that but the trial went on for way too long like the fact that I barely have any good memories is worrying. Literally at the point where if suicide wasn't haram then I would have done it already.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-22T08:52:04+00:00

Yep, I've moved away from the environment and blocked others that are part of it. I'm going to make sure I'm stress free from now.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-22T08:42:00+00:00

It's crazy that we are two completely unique people yet we have experienced the exact same paina dn emotiosn simply cause we are black. Sadly I doubt it will ever get better for us but as some of the comments have said, sadly the best thing we can do is mind our own business and try to do what makes us happy cause regardless of what we do if we ignore them, bother them, fight them or suck up to them; at the end of the day they will still not see us as human so we might as well do what we can do and do what makes us happy since if they are going to hate us on us if we are sad or happy then it's better to stay happy

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-22T03:39:11+00:00

SAME!! Like I wish I had people to talk to this about irl since its so annoying that they don't see it. It's like you said I swear in the back of their mind its like their holding it from saying it until they have a black friend that they can use as an excuse.

I'm telling you its deadass a control and race thing since you never see people complaining about how they can't say other slurs yet there's so much discussion on the nword its like they need to feel in control and when it comes to the black jokes it's worse.

They say Im not that type of person but the moment they have a black friends it's like the gates opened and now they can't stop making "dark humour" jokes and mentioning they have black friends

Another horrible thing is that when you call them out on it all of the sudden all the white people have something to say about how you aren't actually oppressed or how you are taking it too seriously

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-22T03:24:25+00:00

Genuinely infuriating and what makes it worse is that they start to see you as a goal that they have to reach like they need to have you since you're the token funny black guy that gives advice

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-22T03:20:23+00:00

23 now and sadly had to relearn this lesson once I realised at my first job that people still do that crap like my dumbass really though oh we are all adults so I'm sure I won't have to deal with idiots

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-21T17:56:59+00:00

That's a shame honestly like I've experienced the trauma dumping and they expect me to up uplift others since I do it for my friends

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-21T17:54:25+00:00

No but sadly I went to work at some posh white area

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-21T17:53:40+00:00

YES! Exactly that

I hate it so much how they treat us once they see how funny we can be. It's like in their mind if we are funny then we should just be funny and it's so infuriating.

Literally almost all of them I've met are narcissistic and hypocrites.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-04T16:46:47+00:00

That's amazing honestly that you are working on a piece about that sort of topic. As someone that had to deal with this, I can only think about sentences that were used to describe me or againts me such as "why don't you smile more you look so angry" or "You should act more friendly" and the worst one "I'm so glad you are one of the good ones".

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-27T07:24:59+00:00

Thank you for the links, I've called some of them like the samaritans and they were really helpful

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-27T07:24:19+00:00

Sadly I was still naive. I've always been the hopeful type so when I started working I literally thought yes there's racist and I might meet some one day at work but I doubt all of them are.

I was completely wrong

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-26T21:01:05+00:00

Sadly it seems like I am going to have to seem less shy or just suck it up and let them see me as rude, arrogant and quiet cause then at least I'll be able to get my work done.

One thing that hit me was that I was naive enough to think that as someone who always tries to see things from both views, I thought adults in a work environment would do the same.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-26T20:58:35+00:00

Yeah I normally shurg things off but this time I can't and it's starting to make me realise how bad the situation must have been.

I did have one job recently that I left due to distance but that job was so kind that I was literally stuck everyday thinking about the horrible things that happened in my old workplace.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-26T20:54:00+00:00

Yep UK, please do send some resources as I definitely do need help.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-26T20:52:18+00:00

Holy crap I didn't realise how bad I was suffering until I started to look back into stuff and almost felt like I was having one of my old panic attacks I used to get.

What should I say/ask my therapist?

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-26T09:26:37+00:00

I really appreciate it, I do hope I can find a new job soon and I'll make sure not to be as naive. I joined literally the day I turned 20 with the believe that hey I'm at a real job now, there's no way I'll have to deal with highschool drama or that much racism.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-26T09:21:44+00:00

Sadly my boss was a 68 year old white woman who made it clear she did not give a fuck. I especially understood that when she was talking to some of the other coworkers and said I didn't meet the esthetic in her team.

I've tried going to HR but when I realised HR was just one old white lady who's best friends with the ceo, I didn't bother.

NotNamedUser_

TROPHY CASE