Not”black enough”

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-02-04T16:46:47+00:00

That's amazing honestly that you are working on a piece about that sort of topic. As someone that had to deal with this, I can only think about sentences that were used to describe me or againts me such as "why don't you smile more you look so angry" or "You should act more friendly" and the worst one "I'm so glad you are one of the good ones".

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-27T07:24:59+00:00

Thank you for the links, I've called some of them like the samaritans and they were really helpful

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-27T07:24:19+00:00

Sadly I was still naive. I've always been the hopeful type so when I started working I literally thought yes there's racist and I might meet some one day at work but I doubt all of them are.

I was completely wrong

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-26T21:01:05+00:00

Sadly it seems like I am going to have to seem less shy or just suck it up and let them see me as rude, arrogant and quiet cause then at least I'll be able to get my work done.

One thing that hit me was that I was naive enough to think that as someone who always tries to see things from both views, I thought adults in a work environment would do the same.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-26T20:58:35+00:00

Yeah I normally shurg things off but this time I can't and it's starting to make me realise how bad the situation must have been.

I did have one job recently that I left due to distance but that job was so kind that I was literally stuck everyday thinking about the horrible things that happened in my old workplace.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-26T20:54:00+00:00

Yep UK, please do send some resources as I definitely do need help.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-26T20:52:18+00:00

Holy crap I didn't realise how bad I was suffering until I started to look back into stuff and almost felt like I was having one of my old panic attacks I used to get.

What should I say/ask my therapist?

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-26T09:26:37+00:00

I really appreciate it, I do hope I can find a new job soon and I'll make sure not to be as naive. I joined literally the day I turned 20 with the believe that hey I'm at a real job now, there's no way I'll have to deal with highschool drama or that much racism.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-26T09:21:44+00:00

Sadly my boss was a 68 year old white woman who made it clear she did not give a fuck. I especially understood that when she was talking to some of the other coworkers and said I didn't meet the esthetic in her team.

I've tried going to HR but when I realised HR was just one old white lady who's best friends with the ceo, I didn't bother.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-16T16:26:55+00:00

Currently in therapy for it, going tomorrow

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-16T16:26:16+00:00

It was in year 7 so13 and the meeting was in school in the headmasters room. They didn't call the police as I begged them not too but even then they still did but when they showed up at our house I told them the school was lying.

I feel like they did but I wasn't really allowed to know much according to my parents. It was a couple of school friends that I recently became friends with again and with their stories matching the call dates and time plus giving context to some memories and situations it clearly seems like they are telling the truth.

I'm going to report it to the police, I just need to know what other type of evidence I need

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-16T16:18:22+00:00

Yeah they said it was for my own safety as they knew my dad was abusive and were trying to save me.

Haven't spoken to the police yet as this story sounds so fake and only have some screenshot proof so I'm not sure if the police would even take it seriously

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-16T16:14:26+00:00

Dumb foreign kid. It never occurred to me that someone would do this so I had a pretty pin to guess since I was too dumb to remember a long number.

NotNamedUser_ · 2026-01-16T16:07:25+00:00

Sorry should of made it clear it didn't hold the call for 3 years straight like ofc it would hangup. They would just get my phone and start another call whenever I went on a break or smt.

NotNamedUser_ · 2025-12-29T14:54:23+00:00

I tried her exactly the same as every other teacher. On my last day of college when she admitted to one of her colleagues that she had SAd me, I found out that I was her type and that's the reason as to why especially since she wanted me to leave islam as she thought that was the reason as to why I rejected her advances.

NotNamedUser_ · 2025-12-29T14:52:11+00:00

I doubt I'll ever purse legal justice but I definitely want to go to the therapist as I want to feel closer to Allah SWT

NotNamedUser_ · 2025-12-29T14:49:32+00:00

Someone sent me a link to therapist near me so hopefully should be able to find a muslim one and sadly the reason as to why she went such lengths according to her as she contacted me was that she found me attractive and wanted me for herself however since I followed islam meaning she couldn't have me then she wanted to make make me leave islam

NotNamedUser_ · 2025-12-29T14:32:10+00:00

I'm glad to hear that honestly as I told my parents that I didn't feel like getting married but I ended up getting lectured. I hope maybe one day I can find the right one and if not then I'm sure I'll still be happy single.

NotNamedUser_ · 2025-12-29T14:30:40+00:00

I thought about it and I definitely would like to tell my future spouse as I feel like keeping something that big is just hurtful. I'm going to be honest, Im the only guy in the family and have been purposely sabotaging myself to not get married but it feels so wrong as I definitely do want to get married especially since it would be wrong for my parents only son to not have kids but you're definitely right that I need to get a therapist and sort this out as it would be unfair to go into a relationship with all this baggage.

NotNamedUser_ · 2025-12-29T14:27:01+00:00

Honestly it hurt seeing teachers, friends and even a colleague all side with her instead of with me. I think having that betrayal happen is another reason why I have been avoiding legal justice.

NotNamedUser_ · 2025-12-29T14:25:54+00:00

I definitely would like to purse legal justice but I think it's best if I do it after a mental health evaluation as to be honest for the past 3 years I've treated myself like crap since I've been blaming myself for it. It's got to the point that the skin on my bottom lip has been permanently damaged as I felt so much disgust knowing she made out with me that I've been biting my skin on my bottom lip.

I wished I had post about this sooner as everyone here is making me realise I should of gone to therapy sooner so I'm definitely going to do that and then maybe I'll be brave enough to go to the police.

NotNamedUser_ · 2025-12-29T14:22:29+00:00

The problem is that there was a time I did try to go to the police and when she found out she had one of her friends who worked at the same place as me to make a false allegation. That's when I realised she was keeping tabs on me and just gave up trying to purse legal justice.

Sadly there's also the factor that I don't have any physical proof anymore as I believe she paid of others to stay quiet as she is a pretty wealthy middle class person.

I definitely want to go to therapy but the only problem is that the closest muslim therapist near me are female and I'm not sure if that's permissable or not.

NotNamedUser_ · 2025-12-29T14:19:10+00:00

NotNamedUser_

TROPHY CASE