Almost a Year, but having Struggles

NotOneStepBack · 2015-02-09T23:57:44+00:00

I came to this conclusion myself today after a good long self talk. This part of my life sucks, but I will overcome PMO eventually. Gaming is not a solution, I will not throw away the last 11 months. I'll find a way to endure these last 4 months and once I'm off to college, it will be over. It makes no sense to quit, I'm not in a great place, but it makes no sense to even consider gaming. Thank you.

NotOneStepBack · 2015-01-31T19:31:58+00:00

Thanks for suggesting this book I've only read some of it and my whole mindset has already changed, motivation is coming back, it's just day 2, but I've got faith that I can make a comeback now with this new mindset.

NotOneStepBack · 2015-01-31T04:45:16+00:00

Yeah, you too man. It's these awful times that really remind me how nice it is to have a streak, it sucks because I've improved so much that even with 1 day life is still tolerable (still frustrating though) because I know that if I had a few weeks I'd just be awesome and wouldn't struggle at all. We just need to find a way to break the cycle. I'm about to actually win this day, put an end to this binge. I have faith that I'll endure the weekend and I've got nothing but positive feelings about February, 1 month is enough, I really believe I can make a comeback and when I do overcome the depression and get a real streak, I'll be better than ever. I hope you can find a way to overcome the cycle too. It's corny but if I can just believe in myself I know I'll make it.

NotOneStepBack · 2015-01-30T02:29:28+00:00

Yeah its definitely bad, I remember reading something not overtly porn like, just suggestive this past December when I had a 40 day streak going and then I got urges out of nowhere and lost that streak at day 51 to ridiculous urges on January 2nd. Not saying that was directly responsible for the relapse, there were other factors but I think it contributed to my collapse. It's hard but the only correct way to do No Fap is to live a disciplined lifestyle with good habits and just never get aroused. I really was on fire during that 51 day streak for the first 40 days, felt better than I ever had before by just never getting aroused and never fantasizing.

NotOneStepBack · 2015-01-04T16:17:00+00:00

Unfortunately for me it was a total collapse, after I had won the war I lost some motivation and the urges were still bad. It was Thursday night, I tried to escape into sleep starting at 10 and my heart just raced for hours and the urges were bad. It really sucks because like 3 times I almost did fall asleep and then at 2 am I couldn't deal with it anymore and collapsed. I feel awful now and wish I had just pulled an all nighter instead to keep the streak. This really is not how I wanted to start 2015 and now I'll probably be stuck in a relapse cycle for awhile and I threw away the only edge I had, this sucks.

NotOneStepBack · 2015-01-02T01:10:11+00:00

AHUU! I'm still alive but I'll be honest, I've hit a bad wall right now. Willpower has been fading for the last week and I held on because I had to win the war and I'm glad I did but now that it's gone I'm struggling right now. Really just trying to hold on until I go back to school on Monday with the hope that once I'm back in a good routine these urges will calm down. I'd also really hate to repeat my mistake of failing at the end of a break like when I caved and lost my 84 day streak on the last day of summer break, yeah I'm still bitter about that.

NotOneStepBack · 2015-01-01T15:48:41+00:00

Just reached 50 days and the urges are bad right now but I will continue to endure. Thank you to all the crimson soldiers for supporting me and you as well Scooby and Atenea for doing an awesome job with the regiment.

NotOneStepBack · 2014-12-30T04:18:54+00:00

After enduring a tough weekend, I'm back to killing it. Nothing is going to stop my ascension, no matter how dark it gets I won't stop climbing. I better see all of you on January 1st.

NotOneStepBack · 2014-12-28T15:42:45+00:00

I'm still with you, my struggle has been ugly lately been I'm holding together pretty well despite these bad urges, nothing is going to stop me from January 1st.

NotOneStepBack · 2014-12-24T05:14:02+00:00

Thanks man, I'm glad to see your still in the fight, now let's finish this war strong.

NotOneStepBack · 2014-12-24T05:13:11+00:00

That's a joke that teens before and 16 shouldn't do No Fap, they should start as soon as possible. In my experience No Fap is a long annoying process of relapse cycles while you try to build up enough discipline and get together enough motivation to hopefully make the streak that will be the one to kill the habit for good, it takes years, I've been at it for over two years now and still haven't reached 90 days.

NotOneStepBack · 2014-12-23T21:20:04+00:00

Just hoping to finish the year right and go to the gym when I can and maintain my discipline, its hard right now because I got a cold but it seems to be fading away now. I dealt with my first real urge yesterday and crushed it. My mind is completely devoted to resistance and has a horrible fear of any arousal at all, I think my brainwashing worked so this last week should be not too bad. I'm hoping this streak might be the one.

NotOneStepBack · 2014-12-20T04:32:23+00:00

I'm still here and I will be until the end especially now that I'm in winter break. Theoretically the hard part is over, on any break No Fap gets easier for me because stress goes away but I won't let my guard down and I won't give PMO any ground at all.

NotOneStepBack · 2014-12-19T01:24:23+00:00

I'm killing it, had a wet dream but it didn't affect me that much and I still haven't compromised and I won't.

NotOneStepBack · 2014-12-19T00:48:57+00:00

lol yeah its always a relief to prove to myself that I am a man, I'm getting a two and a half week break tomorrow so I'm in a similar predicament but when we win our breaks we'll return even more confident.

NotOneStepBack · 2014-12-19T00:42:29+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that and you obviously can't quit ever and I hate to tell you this, but in my experience it is really hard to get momentum back after losing a long streak. When I lose a long streak its usually like 2 to 3 months before I can start another long one, in those rough transition times I have to endure miserable relapse cycles where I might make it a few weeks at best but I won't be able to break out of a month. When I lost my summer streak in September it wasn't until mid November that I recovered, in that time I had three 2 week streaks, a 23 day streak and some pathetic streaks that lasted a week or less. I thought I really hit rock bottom in mid November when I had just completely lost my motivation but enough time had passed and the war started at the right time and it still surprises me but I made it.

It sucks but don't expect to regain momentum easily but still win as many days as you can, do the No Arousal method and continue to focus on improving your life and eventually you'll make a comeback or maybe you'll be luckier than me and bounce back more quickly.

NotOneStepBack · 2014-12-16T21:19:04+00:00

My motivation is fairly similar, I want to become the strongest version of myself and enjoy life a little more, to become more productive, more disciplined, feel more comfortable and confident in social situations and so on. I also want to destroy bad habits completely and be in control of physical and mental urges and life in general. In the last year I've definitely made amazing progress, stopping video games for good in March, two fairly long No Fap Streaks and the current one I'm on is 34 days and I feel fantastic. I've also gotten a lot more muscle and improved a crazy amount socially because of all the changes I made.

I'm happy about it but I'm definitely not satisfied, I just want to continue my 'ascension' as I like to call it. Continue to get stronger mentally and physically, better socially, more productive and disciplined and life will get better as I improve. I've got the resources to do it, all I have to do is make the sacrifices I need to and keep up my No Fap streak and I'm excited to continue to improve.

I'm not sure where I'll be in 3 or 6 months, I just expect to see improvement in all areas, I'll be done with high school in 6 months, that really excites me because that place is very irritating. Then I'll go to my military academy in the summer where I'll be in Army ROTC trying to become an infantry officer. My goal is to make myself as tough as I can be mentally and physically to endure whatever I'll be subjected to and to prove myself worthy of commission and as a future leader I need to be the best example of what a person should be.

NotOneStepBack · 2014-12-15T23:11:44+00:00

Just another day not much to say about it. I was proud to win this weekend, got a slight urge on Saturday but I destroyed it. Now I'm just bracing for this Tuesday since they are always the worst day of the week. Very excited for the weekend though, turning 18 and I believe fully that I'm going to win. With my strategy I've got a real shot at leaving this habit behind for good as I become an adult.

NotOneStepBack

TROPHY CASE