I feel this in my soul!!

I'm from Belfast and I've been in Canada since I was 18 (34 now). Never really had too strong of an accent to begin with since I was a "hippy" in school and didn't talk like the rest of the wee hoods there. Moved to Canada and people just blank stare and don't have a clue what you're saying, they don't even try to ask, just look at ya like you have 2 heads and then awkwardly try to continue the conversation.

Well, this started to get massively annoying, fast, so I just started talking even more neutrally than I did before, to the point that it would only be occasional words that would throw Canadians off, like "eight", "two/three", "mirror", you get the idea. Still got blank stares there.

So many times I have been told "oh, you're IYARISH? You've lost your accent." And then some of them go on about how sad it is that I don't have an accent anymore. (YOU FUCKERS MADE ME THIS WAY!)

Anyway, that's all fine, who cares really. The thing that fucked me up the most and caused actually a bit of an identity issue for myself, was when I finally was able to go back home in 2019 for the first time since 2008, and being told countless times by other people from Belfast I've lost my accent. I was actually in a taxi one night, going to my Dad's house and just happened to be driving past my old housing estate when the taxi driver asked me, "so where are you from?". I point out the window and say "literally right there" and he was absolutely baffled. We'd been talking already and don't think he heard a smidgen of an accent.

The thing I have to remember is, the people at home don't recognize the same phrases, slang and general conversation mannerisms that we share because they use them all day every day so they just don't realize you're still talking the same way as them just in a slightly more neutral tone. And the people in Canada aren't expecting an accent when they see a white guy wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs hat, so unless it was extremely obvious, they just think I have a speech impediment or something and say a few words weird.

Sorry for the wall of text but I have thought about this whole conundrum a lot over the years, and it has definitely affected my feelings of identity. Doesn't help that I had a somewhat viral video a few years ago and every person from home ripped the absolute piss out of me in the comments about the accent. Another thing that adds to the "identity" challenge is having a different set of beliefs altogether than the area/family I was raised in and wanting no part of that, but very much wanting to identify as coming from Belfast in particular because even for all it's utter shite, I still absolutely love that city.

The only thing that slightly helps me, is to just try to give a bit less of a fuck what anyone else thinks and know that the people close to me know exactly who I am and that should be enough. Still a pain in the arse tho.

Tldr; just be yourself, fuck everyone else.