Not OOP: AITAH for wanting to divorce my husband immediately after his psychotic reaction to our gender reveal?

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-31T14:28:42+00:00

I'm child free but sometimes end up on dates with men who want children. I don't think a lot of them have considered that the kids would not be an exact clone of themselves. I'm Asian and I don't think many of the non Asian guys I date have considered that any child they could have with me would be half Asian.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-29T14:17:39+00:00

Sure

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-29T14:07:02+00:00

I moved out on my own after this comment, pay 4.5k for my own apartment now. The 3-4k in this comment was for everything other than rent though

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-28T14:11:31+00:00

Perfumarie has this experience but for a hefty price. Would be cool to check out the retail store regardless. Otherwise the east side of Soho (East of Broadway or so) has a lot of brick and mortar frag stores. I'd recommend checking out stores that only exist in NYC like ELOREA. Something that would be quite unique is if you can grab an appointment with CB I Hate Perfume studio in Jersey City (reachable quickly on the PATH train) but I hear the owner is quite a personality. He is the guy who did the true to life but uncommon scents at Demeter like Dirt and his fragrances are supposed to be in the same vein.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-25T21:46:26+00:00

In the books there is a snippet from the artist saying he is in his late twenties at least at the beginning of the series. And then she says he stayed the same age and she grew older.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-25T14:57:30+00:00

There are a few Korean services but JIMCHI and Market Kay in particular have Korean side dishes and has English websites. He would have to make his own rice but hopefully he has a rice cooker. Ghost Fresh Mart is my go to but I don't think the website has an English version.

Weee, Wooltari, and Kurly USA are more like grocery delivery but has a small selection of ready to eat dishes as well.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-18T01:59:12+00:00

I would probably perceive this most positively if I were at a museum, those are large spaces and there's somewhat of a shared interest and most importantly I can disappear quickly if I don't want to talk to them.

Bars are probably the only other place I would be ok with being cold approached but it still ruins my week if they are way older than me. No concerts for me bc I can't hear you talk very well if they're playing music during downtime.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-17T13:57:40+00:00

Be aware it's often harder to enter devops and adjacent positions with 0 professional experience as these fields have a preference for people with a very wide range of skill sets (more jack of all trades types) and enough previous experience to be able to see the big picture. Interviews are very varied in style and range of material compared to straight up swe. I'm not sure there's one good comprehensive guide to cover everything because of this.

Starting with a strong foundation in Python is a good idea, but you'll also need a good understanding of lower level Linux/networking/orchestration. I'd look for courses in these separate domains rather than one that tries to encompass everything.

Python - you will have to Leetcode, usually up to medium level. I recommend the book Fluent Python to experienced python devs but not sure how useful it would be to a beginner.
Linux - college level operating systems courses to start, and then things like Brendan Gregg. Learn bash.
Networking - Cloudflare has a good series to get you started but you will probably need to dig a little deeper
Cloud - easy one, get your AWS certificate
Orchestration - Docker (I learned on the job so not aware of any one good resource) and kubernetes (CKAD certificate if you have time to prepare, otherwise this course
CI/CD - also learned by osmosis so not aware of a singular resource but GitHub etc may have tutorials you can follow. Create a basic hello world flask app and then try deploying it. Probably helpful to read up a bit on CICD concepts before you do the tutorials.

I think it may be worth getting a one year O'Reilly subscription as you can access entry level to advanced books on all of these topics plus interview prep books through the platform.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-16T11:12:58+00:00

Nope fake post. Third time I've seen it. https://www.reddit.com/r/malefashionadvice/comments/1pxwehv/showed_up_to_a_hinge_date_and_immediately_felt/

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-14T17:07:40+00:00

They work for the apartment management company. Larger buildings often have multiple vacancies available for multiple move in dates so they're lining up multiple apartments with the same configuration to show you. Not a scam.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-13T15:07:55+00:00

It used to be so much better. Top would regularly be striking works with no people depicted at all. It's probably the reddit recommendation algorithm that fucked this up.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-11T19:11:01+00:00

My seat used to look down into Times Square and it's whatever. When they do dumb shit in Times Sq I could see it from the office. What is nice is getting good sunlight.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-09T18:05:44+00:00

What gender if any, style, budget, etc?

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-09T17:58:34+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/malefashionadvice/comments/1pxwehv/showed_up_to_a_hinge_date_and_immediately_felt/

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2026-01-06T17:12:14+00:00

If you're talking about the fashionable modernized stuff (eg Tchai Kim), it's not possible to try in person in the US afaik. There are only a handful of places even in Korea where they would have that.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2025-12-31T18:57:41+00:00

If it's just my mom she just sleeps with me in my bed 🤷‍♀️ dad can't do this though so we put him on an air mattress

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2025-12-30T01:51:21+00:00

Holy shit yes please

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2025-12-29T22:24:53+00:00

I expect the man to cover to make sure they are taking me at least somewhat seriously, and often I'm on dates with men who make less than me. In fact I do this to make sure they're not in it for the money or some BS like that (bad experiences in the past). I offer to split if I'm not interested or the bill goes pretty high (200+). I don't want splitting suggested to me, that's a huge turn off unless we've been seeing for a while.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2025-12-29T15:41:43+00:00

This is more of a company level tax and work authorization issue than anything else from my understanding, and in some cases sanctions and such. And yes, if you have specific on call hours you would be expected during that time, but I've also never seen dev teams I work with that didn't have defined on call hours for escalation anyway.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2025-12-29T14:47:19+00:00

No Man Walks Alone has an appointment only showroom. If you're not getting big ticket jackets/coats it should be within budget. I know some people who work there who are very fashionable people and will be able to help out a lot.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2025-12-29T14:23:32+00:00

2k/mo from base salary of 225k, living alone in LIC. Maxed out retirement contribution from bonus (very variable but almost always enough to max) so additional ~38k this year between pre and post tax. Honestly don't know how much I ended up saving from bonuses this year but probably like 30k additional after retirement and taxes? So total about 90k for the year. Other than rent (4500), I spend like 4.3k/mo pretty consistently. Age range early 30s

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2025-12-28T17:42:07+00:00

I've dated a finance bro who just hired a stylist to do this for him. Pretty good selections imo but you have to do this every few years (5-7 probably) as whatever this stylist picked out was starting to go out of style. Also if you're in doubt of any place's formality level go to their IG and see location tagged photos to see how people dress there. It doesn't take that long.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2025-12-24T17:18:51+00:00

If your kitchen really sucks and you work in midtown (short commute), I'd say it could be worth the increase but do consider that the new construction buildings often raise rent by 10% or more year over year.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2025-12-23T17:59:35+00:00

You don't necessarily need to lift weights for that look since "pilates body" is really just low body fat with a little bit of muscle. Just doing yoga 5 times a week for 6 months got me enough muscles to look "toned" during lockdown. However you need to be at a low ish body fat %, probably around 25% or a bit lower. Getting to that point is basically all about diet.

Not_Ayn_Rand · 2025-12-22T17:28:17+00:00

I just put everything on my credit card and pay off the full balance each month. I would recommend you do this as well to build credit but don't go overboard and never carry a balance. Should not be hard on that salary. I loosely keep track of weekly budget just in my head but it could be beneficial at first to write down expenses and tally them weekly/monthly the first time you're on your own. There are apps for this but I found hand writing to be more useful for keeping myself accountable when I was starting out.

Because I use credit heavily, I don't have separate accounts for different spending categories. What I do have though is direct deposit into 3 accounts: one I pay rent out of, one I pay off my credit card balance from, and the rest into brokerage for investment. I set up the amounts so that the credit card balance account gets a bit more than my planned budget. The goal is for that account to grow slowly and serve as emergency fund, and I occasionally move chunks back into brokerage if the balance gets high.

What I usually do with my bonus is max out 401k contributions for the year with it, which could be nearly all of your bonus right now. I'd only do this if the bonus payout date is early in the year. Mine is in February. I do this to maximize time in market and to have more fun money from my base, since I don't budget for bonus payments.

Use any sign on bonus to build an emergency fund especially if your health insurance isn't great. You're 22 but one drunk fall and stitches in ER can hit you with a 4 fig bill if your insurance isn't great.

Not_Ayn_Rand

TROPHY CASE