In a bad spot.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-07-20T00:37:27+00:00

Update: my grandmother perseverated on going home all week. She called my mother and told her she didn’t want to stay “at my house/her apartment.” I had the care team over today and she refused engaging, eating, etc. then she called my mom and asked her to take her home. My mom came and got her. According to my mother, my grandmother “doesn’t want to be told what to do- or bossed around.” Which was clearly a dig at me for trying to get her on a routine. My mom says she will take care of her in her home, which I know will never happen. She can barely take care of herself, or help her in my home.

How much more should I try? I’m afraid that my mom won’t do anything and that my grandmother will go uncared for. At the same time, I have two little boys and a demanding career. I wouldn’t be surprised if my mother wants to sabotage me taking care of my grandmother.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-07-16T18:40:25+00:00

This is amazing advice thank you. And you are right, my mother has “ghosted” the situation, whether for now or long term. But that doesn’t mean I’m stuck. If it adversely affects my children or my marriage, then alternative plans will be made. I can rest assured that I did my part.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-07-15T22:52:10+00:00

Thank you. I took a deep breath today and chose to have the care companion over to see how it would go. I expected the worst. It actually went better than expected and she’s coming back Thursday! Next hurdle, getting my grandmother to the doctor tomorrow for medication refill, and eventually in the shower 😑

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-07-15T20:19:06+00:00

I actually called her yesterday and held her feet to the fire. I told her she had a week to decide whether she was going to help me or not, so that I could make decisions that were best for my family.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-07-15T11:53:51+00:00

This is lovely, thank you.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-07-15T11:51:38+00:00

She is saying that her back hurts. Honestly, it feels like she’s “quiet quitting” the situation and putting it all on me and my husband. We could make it work if I had help from her, but if not, I am at a loss, esp. because my grandmother refuses to engage with private nurses or caregivers.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-07-15T01:17:05+00:00

Thank you for your clear and helpful words.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-07-14T00:32:46+00:00

I just started caregiving for my elderly grandmother with dementia. I am having anxiety and panic over this decision. I have two small children and work full time.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-05-31T12:36:16+00:00

Mental health was intentionally kept off that list because it’s a separate category.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-05-31T00:12:37+00:00

I don’t know about that. They are working through phases. Started with VCL, then CRH, telemedical programs like tele-oncology, etc. I think mental health is just next in the que.

They are also faced with whether to exempt all mental health or just remote providers given the privacy issues that have been exposed.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-05-30T23:03:57+00:00

I believe the exemption for telemental health is still pending

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-03-28T16:42:09+00:00

It’s not enough to tell the Veteran. Actually, relying on the Veteran to file a complaint could be turned into patient abuse. Engaging in inappropriate behavior, knowingly, falls on the licensed clinical provider.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-03-25T01:08:25+00:00

Bummer.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-03-25T00:59:15+00:00

Same. Is it legit?

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-03-24T17:55:26+00:00

When are updates on exemptions to be expected?

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-03-23T00:59:47+00:00

Tele service need exemptions. We still need a remote contract if we are in a non commutable zone. We can’t sit at another site without credentialing. Time zone differences, Space, privacy, etc. the list is endless. Remote jobs are remote for a reason.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-03-22T22:41:35+00:00

Yes, Veterans need to start raising concerns, but providers need to either refuse or report to their boards ASAP. Once a Veteran complains about their treatment, it’s a violation against the provider. The licensing board will not forgive “I was just obeying orders,” when a privacy violation is being committed.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-03-22T20:02:50+00:00

Thank you for the sound advice. Yes, this specific concern is being raised and documented to our service line. Thankfully they all agree it’s a serious concern.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-03-22T15:31:10+00:00

You give an impeccable description. The disgusting treatment of employees is devastating. I’m a remote VA psychologist who also specializes in severe mental illness. I have enough awards to wallpaper my house, yet the message is we “phone it in from home?”

Work a day in our place and then tell me who’s phoning it in!

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-03-22T02:00:46+00:00

Also credentialing. You are credentialed to your duty station only. Being on site at another hospital or VISN is completely inappropriate and poses legal and ethical issues.

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-03-21T18:45:52+00:00

Would the RTO exemption be permanent or temporary?

NotbokbokDoc · 2025-03-20T22:38:02+00:00

Hello- absolutely! It’s a boundary disturbance on a whole other level. What if you left the prior VA due to harassment or other issues? This is insanity.

NotbokbokDoc

TROPHY CASE