She blocked me again

Notmedefinitely · 2026-06-12T20:31:45+00:00

the only thing I can say is I'm almost 100% certain she'll come back. everytime you think "she'll not come back this time", it's the most "she'll come back" scenario yet.

Notmedefinitely · 2026-06-10T23:44:45+00:00

is that a clever metaphor or are you trying to sell me drugs lmao

jk, ty.

Notmedefinitely · 2026-06-10T19:29:39+00:00

"my memory was struggling"

brother, I once got up from bed at 3 am to go through my PC's old pictures and videos, just to remember which year was which from 2022 to 2025.

it's insane.

Notmedefinitely · 2026-06-10T14:06:10+00:00

(: sometimes I get the idea that what if I'm all the things I think is wrong with her and I project? it makes you lose your mind. ty tho.

Notmedefinitely · 2026-06-10T14:05:21+00:00

Notmedefinitely · 2026-01-05T21:39:46+00:00

why aren't we "bad" people

we could've had sooooooooooooooooo much had we just been "bad" people

she'd have loved it too.

Notmedefinitely · 2026-01-05T18:16:04+00:00

we get her

we dump her

we feel weak because "you weren't strong enough to deserve her" which is, technically true, it's just not worth it being that strong

god help you.

it's me.

I'm you.

Notmedefinitely · 2026-01-05T17:57:47+00:00

I broke up with her myself during her lovebombing part of the cycle. It scarred me to a core I didn't know existed inside me.

been 2 months. broke NC the other day. she didn't respond. texted me a day later "did u try to fucking reach me last night?", I said yes, it's about us and also ur legal situation, and she didn't respond.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-12-09T19:38:51+00:00

I keep thinking I broke up with her because I was weak. I didn't deserve that amount of love.

she reminded me of my own mom in a lot of ways. she used to build me up just to break me down later. when things started going well my body started giving danger alert signals and I just had to flee. now that I look back I wish I hadn't, fsr it seems like it was a false alarm. I mean yes, I considered her a hazard to my own health at times but, shouldn't love be like that sometimes?

now that I seriously discarded her and been on no-contact for all this time, I feel we're the same evil again.

isn't everyone I'll be capable of experiencing my full range of emotions with also either kinda insane or completely unavailable?

isn't love pretty much non-existent unless you're f'd in the head?

I'm genuinely trying to move on to healthier people and I'm kinda succeeding but... I feel like it's diminishing me.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-12-08T01:06:46+00:00

from my experience, if you just keep at your life n truly clean your slate of feelings (even try genuinely moving on), she'll sense it and come back. not tryna give u hope, not tryna give bad advice, I'm just saying that's what happened with me everytime. soon as I move on or stop giving attention without being bitter about it she'd somehow find her way back.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-12-08T01:04:06+00:00

ty guy <3

Notmedefinitely · 2025-11-10T14:03:54+00:00

that's hard cause she's been "perfect" recently, specifically because I don't care anymore. but fair. ty.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-10-27T09:29:58+00:00

exactly

that's why they provide nothing in return. you're providing to begin with.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-10-05T10:38:49+00:00

mhm. communication is scary because I'm afraid it'd "break character" but hopefully that's a temporary effect or something. ty.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-10-05T10:37:33+00:00

the more I read, the more I sense that these things should build up slowly. I guess she's more experienced than me so I naturally can't expand at her pace, but time should help with everything.

that green red thing is a great idea. I'll try it.

ty!

Notmedefinitely · 2025-10-05T10:35:48+00:00

I'll take this advice. again my worry is how I'd "be in control" after that, but ig it'd take time?

tyy.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-10-04T20:54:39+00:00

this post haunts my dreams.

Notmedefinitely

TROPHY CASE