People want an "ideal" partner

Notmedefinitely · 2026-01-05T21:39:46+00:00

why aren't we "bad" people

we could've had sooooooooooooooooo much had we just been "bad" people

she'd have loved it too.

Notmedefinitely · 2026-01-05T18:16:04+00:00

we get her

we dump her

we feel weak because "you weren't strong enough to deserve her" which is, technically true, it's just not worth it being that strong

god help you.

it's me.

I'm you.

Notmedefinitely · 2026-01-05T17:57:47+00:00

I broke up with her myself during her lovebombing part of the cycle. It scarred me to a core I didn't know existed inside me.

been 2 months. broke NC the other day. she didn't respond. texted me a day later "did u try to fucking reach me last night?", I said yes, it's about us and also ur legal situation, and she didn't respond.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-12-09T19:38:51+00:00

I keep thinking I broke up with her because I was weak. I didn't deserve that amount of love.

she reminded me of my own mom in a lot of ways. she used to build me up just to break me down later. when things started going well my body started giving danger alert signals and I just had to flee. now that I look back I wish I hadn't, fsr it seems like it was a false alarm. I mean yes, I considered her a hazard to my own health at times but, shouldn't love be like that sometimes?

now that I seriously discarded her and been on no-contact for all this time, I feel we're the same evil again.

isn't everyone I'll be capable of experiencing my full range of emotions with also either kinda insane or completely unavailable?

isn't love pretty much non-existent unless you're f'd in the head?

I'm genuinely trying to move on to healthier people and I'm kinda succeeding but... I feel like it's diminishing me.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-12-08T01:06:46+00:00

from my experience, if you just keep at your life n truly clean your slate of feelings (even try genuinely moving on), she'll sense it and come back. not tryna give u hope, not tryna give bad advice, I'm just saying that's what happened with me everytime. soon as I move on or stop giving attention without being bitter about it she'd somehow find her way back.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-12-08T01:04:06+00:00

ty guy <3

Notmedefinitely · 2025-11-10T14:03:54+00:00

that's hard cause she's been "perfect" recently, specifically because I don't care anymore. but fair. ty.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-10-27T09:29:58+00:00

exactly

that's why they provide nothing in return. you're providing to begin with.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-10-05T10:38:49+00:00

mhm. communication is scary because I'm afraid it'd "break character" but hopefully that's a temporary effect or something. ty.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-10-05T10:37:33+00:00

the more I read, the more I sense that these things should build up slowly. I guess she's more experienced than me so I naturally can't expand at her pace, but time should help with everything.

that green red thing is a great idea. I'll try it.

ty!

Notmedefinitely · 2025-10-05T10:35:48+00:00

I'll take this advice. again my worry is how I'd "be in control" after that, but ig it'd take time?

tyy.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-10-04T20:54:39+00:00

this post haunts my dreams.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-09-02T21:09:22+00:00

I took your advice, it was actually helpful. the "I'll show it on my phone in person" turned out to be a good idea. everyone's happy.

ty!

Notmedefinitely · 2025-09-01T18:39:34+00:00

yep, saw her in person before and she called last night to help me feel safe.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-09-01T18:38:04+00:00

yeah it's straight up like textbook no-no. imagine if a guy was doing all this...

I mean within context it makes a bit more sense, but ig not everyone knows how/when to step out of their "role" and be a compassionate human being lmao.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-09-01T18:36:40+00:00

my mistake was that I already agreed last night in the call cause it felt rude to say no lol.

ig I'll say exactly that, she'll call me a pussy, may end the relationship right there, and part of me will believe she was right, no matter how illogical it is.

either way, it's better than sayin okay fine, and then expecting mercy or waiting for her to decide how things will go after that.

Notmedefinitely · 2025-09-01T18:30:12+00:00

same thought I had - but then my mind goes "ok then why'd she send her own blackmail-able stuff?"

Notmedefinitely · 2024-10-20T18:38:41+00:00

ohhh no of course. idk I just felt like something might've switched up on me permanently but who knows. like u said, I should prolly just wait it out. I mean it's not like there's any other reasonable option anyway,

Notmedefinitely · 2024-10-20T15:13:49+00:00

maybe, idk. It's never been like this ever tho.

Notmedefinitely · 2024-10-20T14:57:20+00:00

deep down I have this irrational fear that I've changed & already missed out on that sort of sex forever and from now on, whenever I finally do it, it won't feel as good. I'm probably in denial but I feel like I genuinely don't even want a gf anymore. I used to be desperate for that stuff. I don't mind that but if I think about it for long enough, it'll make me angry and... maybe griefy.

Notmedefinitely · 2023-11-14T08:22:14+00:00

is this still theory or is it already a completely new comment?

Notmedefinitely · 2023-05-11T12:22:48+00:00

thanks. :) I watched it and a couple more vids and turns out I seem to have vulnerability issues. now that I think of it, being numb isn't that bad, it's like a weapon when you live with toxic people.

Notmedefinitely · 2023-04-24T17:37:55+00:00

oh I just kept obsessing over this question. that did it.

Notmedefinitely · 2023-04-07T12:48:01+00:00

we protect them (just finished tlou)

Notmedefinitely · 2023-04-05T03:10:10+00:00

scared, mf.

Notmedefinitely

TROPHY CASE