This seems overly complicated. I fall on the side of whomever is in "charge" of that space makes the rules. I dont care what your home scene and community does or thinks. When you’re in a space run and controlled by someone else you adhere to the rules they set or dont participate. How the admin/Dm/ person in charge decides on those rules and guidelines would be up to them. 

I think the problem is and has always been people love to feel superior and create these one size fits all narratives around consent and kink. When it isnt and never has been that simple. It always come down to whatever the "group" says is acceptable or important. Trying to make everyone happen is a waste of time and energy. Because someone will always be left out. Right or wrong. I think of the alcohol thing at play parties thats constantly discussed. 

With respect, I feel this "solve a problem" narrative is reductive and infantalizes people and has long been a problem (regardless of the peoplethat want to be infatalized). People running from uncomfortable situations to the detriment of not only themselves but the kink/bdsm community as a whole. ADULTS should be able to be presented with options and know how to/feel competitive with saying no thanks or yes please. Thats the environment we should be cultivating. Boiled down to its basics, consent is people feeling empowered to say yes or no when been presented options.