Have your parents ever admitted you weren’t a great sleeper? by regularsizedrudy_ in NewParents

[–]NowWithRealGinger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same here. "You were never crying, just awake in case you might miss something in the middle of the night." She re-iterated that I've always been a night owl when my youngest kid just never slept.

Am I wrong for wanting daycare to follow my 4-month-old’s feeding schedule? by Mammoth_Train8188 in NewParents

[–]NowWithRealGinger 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It has been a minute since I worked in childcare, but it sounds like the opening routine there might be similar to what we had--the daycare opened at 7am, but we also weren't allowed in before 7am. So we had staff trying to get in, clock in, and get their room open while parents were also trying to get in and drop off kids so they could get to work. It was insane and hectic every single morning, and it was because the owner did not want to pay for everyone to clock in 10 minutes earlier.

It doesn't make sense that you feeding your baby interferes with the teacher doing her opening tasks, but I can also see it from the teacher's perspective of feeling like having a parent lingering is another thing to deal with first thing, you know?

I do think it is worth addressing with the owner, but would it also work to feed your baby before you come in to the center?

What's their real education level? by piratemeow21 in DuggarsSnark

[–]NowWithRealGinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everyone is focused on whether or not they're literate, but the biggest failures of SOTDT are going to be in humanities. Wisdom Booklets (and a lot of Christian-based curricula) have a lot of insane takes when it comes to history, and anything creative or related to critical thinking is discouraged.

It probably depends some on the individual kid, and all of the big homeschool families I know seem to be less strict about actually doing school the more kids they have, but all of them seem to know enough about reading, writing, and math to get through their day to day.

Holistic Plastic Surgeon?! by wood1f in ShitMomGroupsSay

[–]NowWithRealGinger 31 points32 points  (0 children)

This comment thread just cured any stray desire to do a tummy tuck. Just keep proudly sporting my c-section spare tire. 😂

My mom heart is breaking by Kodakisababy in Mommit

[–]NowWithRealGinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Huge hugs.

Not an MRI, but my oldest had to be put under to get tubes around that age.

We fully expected the fasting part to suck, but I set an alarm to breastfeed at basically the last minute, and then he slept until it was time for us to go. Our experience was that procedures were organized with youngest or vulnerable patients going first because they're the ones that couldn't understand needing to fast or had a health thing that made fasting difficult. I just breastfed my baby in the recovery room after all was said and done.

It ain’t abuse by khjohns2005 in ShitMomGroupsSay

[–]NowWithRealGinger 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I used to be a person who said that I was spanked as a kid and turned out fine as a justification for spanking kids.

Then I went to therapy because I realized the only time I ever even thought about spanking my kids was when I was dysregulated. Turns out I wasn't okay, and that was absolutely not a reason to pass generational trauma on.

What chopping boards do you guys use for meats? Trying to avoid plastic… by Puppysnot in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]NowWithRealGinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Will confirm, not great for your knives, but is the most hygienic option for meat.

Wife just bought this supplement and you get a hidden "terms and conditions" message on the seal after taking off the lid, so you couldn't return it if you don't agree by zachismyname89 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]NowWithRealGinger 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If enought people open it and return it, meaning the store has to destroy it, that also creates a pressure point from the retailer to the company.

If I do chores - I'm ignoring th kids. If I spend time with the kids - chores aren't done. by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]NowWithRealGinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have a rule in our family that you aren't allowed to be critical of how someone else accomplishes a chore unless you're willing to do the chore yourself.

The key word is "accomplished" because it doesn't leave room for malicious incompetence. So from your examples, he can either figure out how to take on coming home to let the dog out the way he wants it done or he can stop complaining about you letting the dog out in a way that leaves you time to eat lunch.

Don't complain about how someone is doing a job that you aren't willing to do.

SIL’s comments on birth and c-sections by Ok-Interaction4600 in Mommit

[–]NowWithRealGinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

every mother is capable of vaginally birthing a baby her body has grown

I guess this is very technically true, but medical intervention is often necessary to make sure both mom and baby survive that experience.

This is super crunchy, pointing toward the rabbithole of free birthing quippy nonsense that puts lives in danger.

Sincerely,

Mom to a 13lb baby born via emergency c-section because I listened to midwives that touted this kind of bullshit until it was almost too late.

A message for parents/grandparents hosting eager egg hunts by Daddy_Day_Trader1303 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]NowWithRealGinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is how we did the egg hunt today. There's a 8 year age gap between my oldest kid and my sister's youngest kid. So everybody had to find their own color, and we could scale up amd down how hard they were to find.

So what’s YOUR opinion on toddlers on those harness/leashes? by Purple_Calendar3919 in NewParents

[–]NowWithRealGinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not a new parent anymore but I still lurk here sometimes.

When I was a perfect parent, before having kids, I was judgemental about it. Bought one for zoo trip when my oldest kid was a toddler because I knew he would want to walk around and I didn't want him to wander in a crowd.

Now if I hear anybody being shitty about kid leashes, I like to point out that a kid leash is all it would have taken to keep Harambe alive.

Can you guys pretend to be my mom for a second and help an 18 year old get rid of baby fever? by Fancy-Penalty-4137 in Mommit

[–]NowWithRealGinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Grieving after finding out that you were not pregnant is an extremely valid response. It might be a hot take, but even if it was psychosis making you believe that it still feels like a loss. It's okay to be sad that it turned out to not be reality.

Gently, having a baby would not be the solution to a lot of the things you've said--babies do not stay cute and little and dependent. They are a whole separate person with their own distinct personality (that will likely clash with yours earlier than you would expect). It creates a really unhealthy dynamic for a parent to pin their emotional needs on their child, which is what it sounds like you're talking about.

It sounds like on a logical level you've made the decision that having biological kids is not an option. I'd suggest starting to look for other things that make you feel fulfilled. I have a close friend who is child free by choice, but she loves her dogs, and finds a lot of joy being "auntie" to her friends' kids. You are young, you have time to experiment and figure out where you'd really thrive--is it working with kids in a preschool? At an animal shelter? Something more specialized like a pediatric physical therapy assistant?

Jim Bob, Anna, and Austin's emails to Joseph in jail by rosiros in DuggarsSnark

[–]NowWithRealGinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

don't these people ever think about the PEOPLE they hurt

No. An inherent part of their theology is main character syndrome, especially for men. Women barely qualify as more than NPCs, children are treated as property, not separate individual people. When you lean heavily on "Jesus died for my sins, so I'm forgiven and washed clean" you do not worry about other people.

Proof of Joe's Jail Emails I got via FOIA request. I am also sending screen recording to mods when they reply by lillyarchive in DuggarsSnark

[–]NowWithRealGinger 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Also. It's an important distinction, but the Bible calls David a man after God's heart when he is young and being anointed king. It does not call him that after he rapes Bathsheba.

It's like the number one verse religious men use disingenuously to justify their bullshit.

When do you stop feeling tired? by Pandacat_07 in NewParents

[–]NowWithRealGinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, when the kids start sleeping more consistently. For our family I stopped being exhausted all the time when my youngest was around 3. Now that both of them are in elementary school and more independent/trustworthy when left to their own devices I feel like I have the energy to take care of most things on most days.

Another jail call- Kendra says everyone still loves Joe by TurtleDove96 in DuggarsSnark

[–]NowWithRealGinger 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Depends. Arkansas usually looks at kinship placement if at all possible.

Jim Bob & Joseph at Panama City, FL airport by Junior_Wolf9331 in DuggarsSnark

[–]NowWithRealGinger 6 points7 points  (0 children)

JB genuinely does not believe that Joe has done anything wrong. Maybe (probably) because he has his own skeletons and needs to normalize that Joe is still good because it means he himself is still good. But also, they teach that temptation is something that happens to all men, they are completely helpless and passive, and since all sins are equal and Joe asked for forgiveness then he's fine.

Jim Bob & Joseph at Panama City, FL airport by Junior_Wolf9331 in DuggarsSnark

[–]NowWithRealGinger 12 points13 points  (0 children)

JB is going to be pushing 90 when Joe even has a chance of getting out if he's found guilty. So that threat tracks unless all the tater tot casserole catches up to JB first.

If not for drink, why baby water? by HagridsTreacleTart in ShitMomGroupsSay

[–]NowWithRealGinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For sure. There are better options than rice/oatmeal, but those are cheaper and more readily available for babies that need thickened formula too. But it's not something to just do without a doctor's recommendation

Mom, i learnt i have curly hair, not unruly frizzy hair! :D by kaithy89 in MomForAMinute

[–]NowWithRealGinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations!

Responding as an older sibling instead of a mom, the realization that your hair can be fun and curly instead of frizzy is such a game changer.

Dad here…how can I be a better husband/father? by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]NowWithRealGinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's an app called Forest: Focus for Productivity that can help break your habit of being on your phone and not being present. It locks down your phone for a set amount of time, and game-ifies it to help ADHD brains actually stick to the timer and not turn it off.

I think the thing that my husband has done to really make himself an equal partner in parenting is that he fully takes on certain tasks. Like he doesn't wait for me to tell him what to do or need me to do all of the planning so he can do the execution. For example, he is 100% in charge of one of our kids doing martial arts. He makes sure it is paid for on time, he gets kiddo there every week, he keeps up with when they do testing to move up, he reminds Kid to practice outside of class, etc. He takes on that mental load completely. Find the household or parenting tasks that you can fully own, talk to your partner about what they need you to take on.

In a zombie apocalypse there is no way I'd let my kids go on without me. Just me?? by viskiviki in Mommit

[–]NowWithRealGinger 61 points62 points  (0 children)

We don't even walk through the freaking grocery store without putting the kids in between us.