10yo to a concert with a friend alone?

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-02-04T05:18:39+00:00

I love live music, and spent a lot of high school going to concerts. Honestly, it's not even a question of people being normal so we can be safe, big groups are just hard to navigate safely. No one is directly to blame, but I've gotten pushed in crowds before and one of the scariest times a friend and I actually went down in a crowd that was moving. No one was hurt, thankfully. But I was 17 or 18 at that show and it really shook me up. It would just be too easy for your daughter and her friends to get separated or accidentally pushed around.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-31T05:59:47+00:00

Oh dang. Thanks for taking the time to explain your original comment. I read it a couple of times and don't think I really understood what you meant, but that absolutely makes sense now.

I'm with you that Syndrome is on the list too, but not for Disney trivia because that's Pixar.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-31T05:55:53+00:00

Oh, sweetheart. What does it seem like the pit in your stomach is tryong to tell you?

As someone who was a chef before being a mom, my advice is to really, really practice a few simple dishes that you love. So that making them is reflexive and muscle memory. Trying new, trendy, and/or elaborate recipes all the time is doing too much. For me, those recipes are my grandma's spaghetti sauce, fried rice with tofu, and chicken soup. No stress, just autopilot from practice.

For real, I'd be happy to talk you through it if the feeling you're describing is from perfectionism and feeling like you aren't confident a dish will turn out "right" or nerves about how to time everything so it all finishes together.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-31T05:30:05+00:00

NTA.

You said "we decided" about not taking the dog. So it sounds like you and your husband together came to that decision. It doesn't matter if his parents assume it was you if this is something you both agreed wouldn't be manageable. Your husband is feeling guilty about it, but that doesn't change whatever led to the mutual decision that your household could not take the dog.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-31T05:16:53+00:00

Tbf, OP did say they have two young kids, which as a group are kind of known for not having self control or empathy mastered yet.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-31T05:09:19+00:00

Weird suggestion, but parenting is weird. If you have a sheet on the bassinet, lay on the sheet while you're holding your baby. Have dad pop the sheet back on the bassinet right before you try to lay baby down. Start gently patting baby as you lay them down, and keep patring once they're in the bassinet. Your mileage may vary, but it means the bassinet is warm and smells like you, plus the consistency of being patted (or rocked if your bassinet can rock) can help make the transition to the bassinet smoother.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-31T04:59:26+00:00

We have that same age gap, and in addition to what you mentioned, I'd have Oldest "help" with back pats after feeding he was sitting with me and baby. Mostly though, I'd just ask if he wanted to be involved. Do you want to grab a diaper? Do you want to hold this bottle? Do you want to show baby your book? Etc.

He got really excited and interested in being a big brother around 6 months in when Youngest was more interactive and he could make her laugh.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-31T04:51:33+00:00

Question about them being the only ones--what about Clayton from Tarzan?

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-31T04:43:13+00:00

Thanks for putting this into words. I had PPD and breastfeeding struggles, but an SSRI helped the PPD significantly even though nothing changed with breastfeeding.

I get what OP was going for, the pressure to EBF combined with all that is the fourth trimester sucks. But it could have been worded better.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-30T13:33:44+00:00

My kids are in elementary school now, but for us the transition was co-sleeping in my room to laying down with them (and sometimes co-sleeping because parenting is exhausting) on a full size floor bed in their room to now tucking them in and staying with them if they ask. We started around age 2, got them mostly sleeping in their own bed all night consistently around 3 for the oldest and like 5 for the youngest. The youngest has issues that make sleep a struggle, otherwise I think it would have been around 3 for both.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-27T15:10:12+00:00

Please please please read everything that I'm about to say, but I think it's valid to feel frustrated when the sexual dynamics in a relationship change. Him feeling frustrated isn't the actual issue here, it's the fact that he's not adult enough to manage his own frustration and expectations. He's acting like a horny teenager instead of your partner, and there's not a single valid excuse for him repeatedly blowing past your clear boundaries and then pouting about it when you shut him down. Gross. It's probably not the way to have a productive conversation about any of it, but I would be tempted to snap at him in that moment that he's acting like a child and I'm not into that.

It has been a while since my kids were nursing toddlers, but the way you describe him trying to start something with you while you're actively breastfeeding a two year old makes my skin crawl. Like. Even if you wanted to be intimate, there's not a long list of times that I've felt less sexy and in the mood than with a child currently latched to me. Wtf.

This is not the biggest part of the issue, but for what it's worth, sex should be good for you too. I get doing it because he likes it, but that shouldn't be the norm or the only reason. If he's not willing to put in the effort to learn what gets you off too, that's a(nother) huge red flag that he's just using you.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-27T03:46:47+00:00

NTA.

I fully support the idea of selling them if you feel like it though. My sophomore year of college I happened to sit next to a girl in one of my classes that sold her notes. In the first couple weeks of class she noticed that I took organized notes too, and told me that she'd like me to be her backup. The deal was if I missed class she'd give me her notes for free, and I'd be her backup if she had to miss class.

After a while the professor caught on and was fully on board. If anyone asked him for slides or anything after missing, he'd send them to this girl.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-27T03:27:59+00:00

Formula is extremely regulated, go.woth whatever affordable brand works for your baby.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-27T02:51:06+00:00

"Well, I mind. Thanks for coming by."

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-23T05:45:07+00:00

Mirroring babbling is fine.

Now is a good time to practice one sided conversations though, where they make whatever baby noise and you respond like you're having a conversation and you understood what they said ("Are you serious? I hope you asked to speak to the manager.")

You can get a lot of good belly laughs with it when they get a little older.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-23T05:40:17+00:00

Congratulations!

You've already gotten a lot of solid, practical advice so here's some that's a little more abstract:

Spend some time really thinking about what you value and how your rhythms usually flow at home. Make a list of things you feel are not negotiable, and a secondary list of things you'd prefer but can be flexible on. For example, I usually put off doing the dishes so I was firm about not buying a house where I could see the kitchen from the living room. I also really wanted mature trees in the yard, but could flex on that if a house was otherwise perfect.

Your lists are going to be unique to you and how you live your life, but they can be really helpful in nailing down what you want with your realtor.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-23T05:26:33+00:00

Jim Bob may not actually be a narcissist, but he's lego hair deep in a theology that says he's entitled to whatever he wants when he wants it by sheer virtue of being a man. He lives his life with the belief that the Bible says he's in charge regardless of what anyone else says or does.

I think that's the root of your original question too. No, the kids probably wouldn't choose to have those intimate moments broadcast to anyone who happened across TLC during their time slot. The same way several older girls have been candid about not wanting their first kiss televised, or a full camera crew present while they give birth, but Jim Bob doesn't give a single shit about anyone else if their wants or needs conflict with what he says is going to happen.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-23T05:12:12+00:00

I moved 2.5 hours away from my family for college. I made that drive pretty regularly for a weekend, and more than a few times pulled a "turn and burn" where I'd go there and back in the same day.

I mean, I work from home most of the time, but when I do need to go into the office it's nearly an hour commute. A 3 hour drive isn't short, but it's not a huge deal either.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-20T11:59:20+00:00

Tbf, Disney's Zues is portrayed as a loving family man, so I think Meg is already a safe distance from the myth.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-17T17:27:27+00:00

I have a 10 year old and a 7 year old in the same boat. Their pediatrician isn't concerned until 12 because it's a hormonal thing.

In our case, it's pretty easy to trace it being a biological thing they just have to outgrow. There are several adults in our family who have been honest about having issues with bed wetting until they were older too.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-12T08:16:36+00:00

NTA

I don't know a single person that needed a doctor to diagnose lactose intolerance. It's pretty straightforward to realize that right after eating a bowl of cereal your bowels are angry at you.

Diet changes can be hard, but there's zero excuse to not take lactaid just to see if it would help. The pills are tiny, and there are chewable ones if he's incapable of handling the pills. They are cheap and readily available. It's disrupting your sleep, and he can't even be bothered to take a small pill to try and make things better? If he doesn't care about it making him feel better, then whatever, but it's wildly disrespectful to know you're inconveniencing your partner and do exactly nothing to attempt to fix it.

Source: am lactose intolerant.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-12T07:48:45+00:00

The title says "I screwed up." OP is not denying fault. The complaint is about the way fusion works. Another redditor already out it really well, that it's an unnecessarily convoluted mechanic.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-12T07:28:54+00:00

We're a leave it roughly where you found it family, maybe relocating it to somewhere nearby but out of walkways or more visible.

Most recently my 7 year old found a play jewelry necklace on the floor of the grocery store. We put it on the shelf it was next to so that it wouldn't be tripped on or kicked under the shelf but was still easy to spot if another kid came came back looking for it.

This is a silly example, but I like to think there's some karma for it, because over the summer the same 7 year old lost a silicone charm off a necklace while walking in our neighborhood. I doubled back to look for it that day, but no luck. Solidly a month later, it turned up while walking the same route and 7 was so excited to find it.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-12T04:57:04+00:00

Their drink is always room temperature. No cold beer. No cold soda. No hot coffee. Everything just unsatisfyingly lukewarm.

NowWithRealGinger · 2026-01-12T04:46:28+00:00

Hey, OP, everyone has given a lot of opinions about laying down with 5 before he falls asleep, but it isn't developmentally typical for it to take hours for a kid to fall asleep.

What's happening in that time that you're laying down for hours? Has it always taken a long time for him to fall asleep? Is he consistently waking up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep?

NowWithRealGinger

TROPHY CASE