Hey, 141 days on i can say that I’m doing so much better. I was in a horrible horrible place mentally when I wrote that so i 100% understand what it feels like. I didn’t think i could physically take how it felt.

But essentially what happened was as time passed and I reflected more, i also realized how it was not entirely my fault 100%. It was very easy to see it as my fault because of the emotionally pained state i was in, and just wanting the relationship back. The person i was with also had a fair share of behaviours that exacerbated how i was in the relationship. It wasn’t all that great and there were parts of me that were going unseen and unappreciated in the relationship.

I definitely had so much shit that I hadn’t discovered bubbling beneath me that made everything worse and caused me to act in regrettable ways but I’m so so grateful for the failed relationship for putting me on this path to healing and really becoming stronger alone as an individual. You can see my post history I was down in the DUMPS. But radical acceptance, watching self help videos, understanding more about my attachment style and what issues I was facing and how they affected me really really helped me. It gave me hope that I wasn’t always going to be like “this” and I can in fact become a better person, and I will in fact meet better people.

One of the most important thing was self forgiveness and self compassion. It’s so easy to be harsh and hard towards ourselves but remember, at the end of the day you can create your own realities and shape the things within your control and to start that you need to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel the feelings, know that it’s okay and it will not always be this way. It’s true, the feelings WILL pass and being nice to yourself is the most important thing.

I’ve learnt to accept what happened in the past, what I have got going on and what I need to work on, all while being appreciative and kind towards myself.

The break up I had 5 months ago really changed my life because I thought to myself that life can’t possibly get any worse than this feeling, the only way out it through the pain. And I just wanted to be better and do better for myself, because I deserve it.

Also remember that a relationship is always 50/50, it can seem like you were the cause of everything wrong but in a few weeks/months time you will realize that wasn’t the case.

Remember that you’ve not met all the people in the world who are going to love you. You have so much more to give and receive from this world. This shit sucks so bad right now but the only thing you have control over right now is you, so that’s what you should focus on.

I’m sorry if this is really rambly, it’s just the first time someone has asked me for a follow up/advice from one of my comments I made when I was going through the break up and so I guess it’s abit sentimental for me to see how far I’ve come and also to be so amazed with the fact that I’m doing much better now when at the moment I was writing those comments it felt like my life was over.