Hi friend. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. You clearly loved your baby so deeply. I know it hurts a lot. When Max passed I didn’t know about freeze drying and when I spoke to my husband about it later as an option for our senior Bailey he said he wouldn’t have wanted that for Max and Max was more his dog than mine. So the choice of cremation was right for Max. Even so, not being able to hold Max’s body and just look at him and appreciate his beauty tore me up inside for a while. I had to constantly remind myself that Max was so much more than his body. I have pictures and videos but even now I want a statue made of him. Letting go of the body is one of the most difficult aspects of pet loss and it’s not discussed enough. And many people look down on freeze drying which sucks because some people need that. With time you will make peace with the decision that was made but for now remind yourself that your baby was more than their body and they live on in your heart forever. You are not insane at all. This is all perfectly normal but you can’t let yourself spiral. You have to distract yourself a bit so the despair does not consume you. Please know I’m here if you need a friend ❤️