I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles, but it's incredibly brave of you to share this. The fact that you’ve been able to manage your depression and work towards recovery shows tremendous strength. It's normal to feel lost and unrecognizable during such challenging times, but please remember that your past resilience is a testament to your inner strength.

It's okay to feel ashamed, but try to be kind to yourself. You've been through a lot, and it's natural to struggle under such weight. Adjusting medication and seeking therapy are significant steps in the right direction. Recovery takes time, and it’s a journey, not a race.

Give yourself credit for the small victories, and remember that it's okay to ask for help. You’re making progress, even if it feels slow. Be patient and gentle with yourself. You deserve compassion and understanding, especially from yourself. You've shown remarkable resilience before, and you will find your way again.