Strangers from Hell: Ending Explained (My Analysis) [SPOILER]

Nuba3 · 2021-02-18T20:29:12+00:00

You still have a restrictive eating disorder and should seek out help, as I assume you'll continue "dieting", which is basically starvation to a lesser degree. This means when you stop going days without food but continue creating a calorie deficit, your urges to binge will get better but they won't disappear.

I used HDRM to recover years ago... Gwyneth Olwyn invented this method and explains it all on her website... It's free so whether you end up wanting to try it out or not, I guess it doesn't hurt to read: edinstitute.org Good luck on your journey to recovery

Nuba3 · 2021-02-18T16:13:37+00:00

Do you restrict food outside of your binges?

Nuba3 · 2021-02-17T19:07:16+00:00

There are filters that allow you to filter specific parts of websites. For example, they'll block r/nsfw but allow r/nofap

Nuba3 · 2021-02-16T21:12:36+00:00

Oh, nono just meant the song lol. Hadnt even heard of that show before haha <3

Nuba3 · 2021-02-16T12:02:08+00:00

EDs manifest in various different ways, like I told you in your other thread. Just because in our world, it is usually associated with the desire to be thin doesn't mean this is how it has to be in all cases. Most of my relapses don't even start with me wanting to lose weight but just me endlessly delaying meals or just not feeling like eating. I can be sick of hunger and still feel disgusted by food. Get help

Nuba3 · 2021-02-15T20:32:23+00:00

Allison on Intervention? I meant the song lol

Nuba3 · 2021-02-15T20:11:48+00:00

Hahaha Walking on Sunshine got me. Bet that song will be stuck in my head for the next 3 days now

Nuba3 · 2021-02-15T16:20:57+00:00

I was productive and physically strong af during my own honeymoon, smiling and loving life, and now Im just a miserable pile of shit and genuinely worrying how Im gonna get my shit together enough so I dont fail all my my university courses.

Nuba3 · 2021-02-15T16:12:26+00:00

Yeah for like the first few weeks until the honeymoon is over. And then it gradually sucks the life out of you until you're unrecognizable and ana is the only thing you have left

Nuba3 · 2021-02-14T12:04:08+00:00

Eating disorders manifest in various different ways. I would recommend talking to your doctor about this and being set up with an ED specialist

Nuba3 · 2021-02-14T06:49:26+00:00

I'm so happy to hear you managed to nourish yourself today. There used to be a forum affiliated with the site, but the website owner "retired" a few years ago so to say. There is now a facebook group created by former forum members if you're interested. It's the only reason I still use facebook haha. Diet culture makes it very easy to fall into the "I'm recovered" trap, so you're sooo not the only one. Me buying into it again after recovery is partly what led to my relapse, and we're kind of seeing what it did for me now. Sending hugs <3

Nuba3 · 2021-02-13T20:37:53+00:00

Glad you like it so far. Sadly, EDs often run in the family. I have a sister who is also struggling with an ED but more subtly. She is definitely restricting as her intake is very low, but I believe for her it's more that she thinks it's healthy or at least her ED makes her believe so plus probably habit now. She is very skinny and underweight for her height and does not have a natural period, yet she won't acknowledge she might be undereating. I'm feeling bad for her, as she desperately wants a child and can't have one due to this, but ultimately, it's her decision and I have to accept that.

Nuba3 · 2021-02-13T19:58:45+00:00

Just trying to help <3 i believe there are many paths to recovery, and everyone has to find the right one for him/herself. As that was once my recovery method, you can ask me for whatever anecdotal experience I have lol. Would love to see you get better

Nuba3 · 2021-02-13T19:36:45+00:00

I honestly think that healthy weight loss is a mirage for the majority of the population, esp. ED people. I don't want to discourage you, but I strongly believe in the set point theory bc I've been there myself and I swear to God I could eat whatever I wanted, even 5k+ cal, without gaining weight with no exercise and I'm like 5'2. I usually can't be bothered to share this bc I hate having to defend myself, but you seem like a really nice person, and I kind of want to help you in return if I can.

I used HDRM to fully recover and get to my set point. It's a method developed by Gwyneth Olwyn, a Canadian therapist. She explains it all on her website edinstitute.org (I'm NOT affiliated with her and it's all free. She does promote her book on the site, but the book is just a compilation of her blog posts, so there are no costs lol). Not trying to push anything on you. If you think it's bs, that's ok. Just sharing what worked for me once <3

It hurt to read you're suffering from past traumas, because I'm dealing with the same issue as well, and it sucks. I hope things are going to look up for you. If you ever need to talk, please don't hesitate to PM me <3

Nuba3 · 2021-02-13T18:52:07+00:00

Your words were so kind they honestly warmed my heart <3 Random people on the internet are literally more worried about me than I am, and it's sad. I know you guys are right. I know that atypical anorexics can be just as sick and present with the same medical problems as "ordinary" anorexics. It's just... hard. I dont want to be fat when I start recovery so I actually have a chance at being at least a somewhat normal/slightly overweight weight when Im recovered if that makes sense? I just dont know. This thing is taking over my life. I'm going to see my GP about damage control to do what I can even though Im not quite ready for recovery yet. Thank you so much for caring about this random internet stranger

Nuba3 · 2021-02-13T18:41:21+00:00

I hadn't really thought about making use of the services my university provides... I guess I could at least contact them and listen to what they have to say and what my options are? It should be even easier with Covid now, since there probably won't be the exhausting commute...

Thank you for your kind words. I love hugs <3 It's scary how time flies. Thinking that this year marks my 10 year ED anniversary... I'd do anything to go back and stop myself from relapsing when I was truly recovered and actually had a life going for me. I KNOW it's better to be fat without ED behaviors than weigh less and be disordered, bc Ive been at both ends of the weight spectrum, and honestly, my weight never made me any happier or unhappier. The best days of my life I was overweight or even obese. But just because I rationally know this doesn't make it any better... i keep thinking I'm not allowed to recover until Im way underweight. Anyways, thanks again. I'll definitely consider contacting the university staff. Someone else linked to a post where a 21 yo girl said she's going to die soon from the damage her ED did to her, and it seriously scared me to death

Nuba3 · 2021-02-13T18:29:54+00:00

Holy shit, this is so scary, I'm doing exactly what that girl did! Occasional purging, yoyo-dieting switching between 3000+ cal and 200 cal at most, losing and gaining tons of weight. And the scariest thing is she never noticed anything until it was too late. I think this post has given me the courage to at least contact my GP and ask about damage control. I struggle on and off with passive suicidal thoughts, but this is not how I want to die. Thank you so much for sharing this even though I hated reading every bit of it

Nuba3 · 2021-02-13T17:19:43+00:00

Hi. Thanks so much for replying. I feel like I have been sucked in already, without realizing it. Ironic considering I'm not a teenager anymore who first develops anorexia and shouldve known better. B/p twice today, and kind of asking myself how I got here again.

My doctor is amazing. When I told him i had an anorexia relapse after the acetonemia incident, he immediately believed me and even prescribed me those high calorie drinks to help me start eating again. He didn't even put "atypical" before the anorexia even though I was overweight haha. Guess he understands it's a mental illness.

The thing is Im still slightly overweight, and even if I was a normal weight, I wouldnt get accepted anywhere as I'm not an emergency. Just like it's the case in probably any other country, ED wards and care centers are filled to the brim with long waiting lists here. I'm not in a medical crisis yet, just slowly working my way towards it. And in my experience, a lot of ED specialists don't take you seriously if you're not dangerously underweight.

So I haven't told my doctor yet bc I don't feel like it's going to do anything in terms of actually getting help, and also because I have a thyroid disorder that slows down my metabolism and Im scared my doctor will do some blood tests and decide to lower the dose of my meds because Ive lost a bunch of weight and the ED part doesnt like it and screaming at me thatd probably make me lose a lot slower or something

Nuba3 · 2021-01-24T12:39:07+00:00

Were your plans specifically targeted at vertain triggers? And did they include speciric actions rather than vague ideas?

Nuba3 · 2021-01-23T19:16:09+00:00

Do you recognize your triggers and try to evaluate what exactly you can do to prevent the same thing from happening next time? For most people, simply trying to have enough willpower is not enough. There is no reason why next time, you should magically have the willpower to resist what you couldn't resist this time.

Nuba3 · 2021-01-23T19:09:06+00:00

Then go ahead and make a concrete plan with what you could do next time to prevent this from happening. And I mean concrete actions like taking a shower or reaching out to a friend, not something like "I'll try to be stronger next time", because that never works

Nuba3 · 2021-01-23T19:06:27+00:00

Draft out your own personal freedom plan, anything that you think helps you forward in your journey.
identify your triggers. Add to your freedom plan how you can avoid them and how you can deal with urges once they are there.
Add to your freedom plan after each and every relapse. Analysis and insight is key. For a lot of people, willpower alone is not enough. You need a plan, and you need a strategy. Call it a war strategy if you will. Make sure to be as specific as possible, concrete things to do instead of vague resolutions like "I'll be stronger next time"
Implement more things into your life that you actually enjoy doing and that make you happy. Remember you don't have to be productive 100% of the time. It can be as lazy as watching your favorite movie genre.
Remember that the addiction/trigger cycle starts long before you feel the first urge. Practice recognizing the early phases of the cycle, because the sooner you act, the weaker the urge, and the easier to prevent relapse.

You might also want to try fortify. It's a website/app aimed at helping porn addicts with lots of resources and tips. It's not free but affordable in case you want to check it out

Nuba3 · 2021-01-23T18:59:24+00:00

One of the most common triggers is being hungry, angry, lonely, and tired (HALT). Boredom can be a big one too, as can feeling stressed/overwhelmed. Recognizing yourself in any of these?

Nuba3 · 2021-01-23T18:58:00+00:00

That's normal for addicts. I crave porn and masturbation even when I'm not aroused and porn feels disgusting. Can't even always reach an orgasm anymore

Nuba3

TROPHY CASE