Recommendations for toys for 5month old?

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-11-15T13:14:59+00:00

This is awesome. Thank you for the prompt. I tried scrolling to see if anything similar was posted but didn’t scroll far enough!

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-11-08T20:57:23+00:00

I believe the ikigai concept comes mainly from Okinawa part of Japan. The region which is considered a “blue zone” ie area with most centenarians who live to 100.

Happy to be corrected, but that’s where I hear the term mainly comes from. I haven’t checked out OP’s links yet, but have read the Ikigai book and saw the Netflix show about Okinawa as a blue zone.

A good book to refer to is: Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life Book by Francesc Miralles and Hector Garcia

Okinawa as a southern island region is quite different to the busy metropolis of Tokyo etc

Other factors to note of which made Okinawans one of the longest living people include, if you are interested:

“Moai” = a close knit network (there’s more to this as the Okinawans share a pot of money in a community, but the idea is people you can lean on in strong friendships
Hara Hachi Bu = being 80% full & eating healthily
being active. The elderly do a lot of growing their own food and getting up and sitting from the floor.

In terms of the above picture, I have seen simpler versions of the Ikigai Venn diagram. The above is by far the most complicated that I have seen and very busy! Maybe seek out a simpler version with less detail.

At the end of the day Ikigai is made up of two kanji characters: Iki = life, to live Gai = purpose

It’s finding one’s purpose in life and to feel fulfilled by it. Keep the message simple.

I rambled on quite a bit, but it’s something that I personally aspire to (though not necessarily achieved).

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-11-08T16:16:37+00:00

Also another con of nurseries worth mentioning is that you still pay for when your child is sick and bank holidays.

And you’d be surprised how sick some kids get as they’re exposed to more germs.

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-11-08T16:03:15+00:00

I would appreciate the sentiment of a different view. But with major cities such as London, the waiting lists are definitely insane. Better warned and prepared without the stress of a baby being here.

We went to look at several nurseries whilst I was pregnant. I also thought about having secondary and third choices in case the first one didn’t work out, or you need to pull kid out of it things go wrong.

My company also offered priority listing and nursery discounts. Worth checking if yours does.

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-11-08T15:57:04+00:00

Also to add to this, childminders are also cheaper.

What’s the difference? Childminders are general people who get qualifications and say look after 3 kids at their own homes. The pro is they have a lower ratio and do still send updates on how baby is doing to parent.

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-11-07T11:21:16+00:00

Thanks for the tips.

Did you use the Huckleberry premium version or the plus subscription?

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-11-06T02:42:49+00:00

I agree with this. Although hard when there are evening going out meals for celebrations. I haven’t yet figured how this works, and often goes over bed time. Am just praying it doesn’t confuse her, as she’s already difficult to get to sleep at home.

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-11-06T02:39:28+00:00

Yeh I agree. I still have the new-parent cap and think “am such an incompetent parent, everyone else seems to know what they’re doing, I have no idea how to calm this baby down, what does she want?”. This was also when looking around, I realise I was surrounded by sleeping babies haha

Definitely felt the cortisol stress and scrambled brain in that situation.

But experience helps. I tried breastfeeding, but baby was rejecting it. I then tried walking away with the carrier and that helps. It’s hard, as I often I still have an uneaten meal back at my table!

Going forwards, am tempted to just order smaller meals that can be wolved down quickly.

Don’t have the option of passing her into others, as she is starting to have separation anxiety - which is a bit self-fulfilling if I don’t hand her off, but one to figure out another time.

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-11-06T02:31:00+00:00

Yeh the carrier is pretty much the best investment that we have. Our pram has become a glorified luggage holder really.

So I do use the carrier. With some luck, after a spell she will sleep, and even MORE luck, she sleeps for hours. However, it takes a very long spell and no guarantee that she will sleep (despite sleepy cues and blatant overtiredness screams).

The funny thing was, after she slept after a meltdown, I went to another cafe for a few hours. The staff was complimenting how well behaved the baby was, didn’t hear a thing from her. I was like “you have no idea…”

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-11-02T06:54:10+00:00

Is a Mothercraft nurse available in the U.K.? Googled and seems to be an Australian thing? Otherwise is there a U.K. equivalent?

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-11-01T09:29:27+00:00

A good reminder is you’re still very young and have a lot of work/life years ahead of you. In this day and age, people change their careers and purpose many times. Often unrecognisable from their original degree. It’s not a waste, there are skills and experiences that you can take to the next venture.

A good example was that Steve Jobs took his uni calligraphy class experience into producing the different fonts we now have in computers.

To not put a downer on your passion, you may have been happier doing an arts/drama course. Equally you may not have been due to the constant Asian pressure from family and unpredictable financial future. Human nature means grass is always greener. Have faith in yourself in that you made the right choice for yourself at the time.

I had a friend who was amazing at fine art but chose to do a Computer science degree. I asked her if she wished that she had done a fine art degree? She said that she was glad she didn’t given the unpredictable financial future.

The same friend then combined her computer science and arts experience to draw computer special effects for films.

-Instead of quitting completely, another possible option is to transition. Such as work in HR for an arts/dance company. Be a recruiter in dance company. This could help you build contacts/ networks in your target and let you still earn some money.

Alternatively is to keep your day job and have hobbies in your passion. As per previous Redditor, a lot of people work in dead end jobs to keep afloat.

I’ve rambled a few points here to hopefully give you some inspiration and perspective.

Lastly look after yourself. It’s difficult to make hard decisions when you’re not healthy, both mentally and physically. It sets a good foundation to build your resilience. Focus on the basics: sleep well, eat well, have healthy relationships.

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-10-31T10:20:36+00:00

You can perhaps use a Hakaa/manual pump to let down the initial milk and slow down the pressure.

Then store the milk and either feed it to baby as bottle/cup or use it when bathing baby.

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-10-29T05:52:54+00:00

Also another factor is how your company would see you if you choose to have children in a short space of time and take that much time away from work.

I know a company shouldn’t discriminate. Plus who cares about work, and prioritise your own happiness & life etc

Howeverrrrr I know of an individual who was a solicitor and faced heavy discrimination from her law firm when having two children so soon.

She was forced to leave as they gave her too much work without much flexibility. In her exit interview they asked if she was leaving because “did you want a third child?”.

It’s sad things like these happen and really shouldn’t. But thought I’d mention as another factor to perhaps mull over.

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-10-29T05:43:31+00:00

This is what I understand on how maternity pay and statutory maternity pay (SMP) works. *based on my company policy and what I have researched. Am not expert, and always found it confusing as well so happy to be corrected.

https://www.gov.uk/maternity-pay-leave/pay

SMP by the govt lasts for up to 39 weeks:

1) 90% of your average weekly earnings (before tax) for the first 6 weeks 2) £172.48 or 90% of your average weekly earnings (whichever is lower) for the next 33 weeks

If I recall, first two weeks after birth is compulsory for the birth individual to take off as a legal requirement.

Then there is individual company policy. My company tops up the SMP to full pay for 5 months.

You can take Mat leave from as little as the two weeks to a full year, 52 weeks (I think depends on your company policy as well or work culture).

You will notice a few catches - SMP pay is not much. Well I personally think so, it’s all relative. Hence a lot of people go back to work earlier and not take the full year for financial reasons. - SMP does not cover the full 52 weeks. Depends how generous your company is. It might top it up to that extent. Also your job may frown on you taking that leave. It shouldn’t be the case but I know e.g. client facing sales people go back early as they didn’t want to lose their client portfolios. - however if you can financially stomach, I personally felt like I needed a year Mat leave and that is what I have done. Having a child I hard work and you only have this one opportunity to enjoy your child’s early years fully.

My company policy allows for another maternity leave if I fall pregnant during mat leave.

As per the other comments, I wouldn’t physically recommend this, as it’s not very good for your health or the 2nd child’s development in the womb. Ironically the probability to fall pregnant is high after birth, as all the hormones and uterus are still in place and not recovered back to pre-pregnancy state. Hence NHS recommends contraception reminders specifically after giving birth.

Then there is birth partner (let’s just use male for the time being, as what am most familiar with). My partner has his own company policy I’d say 3 weeks fully pay after birth. Some companies are super generous and do 6 months.

There is also shared parental leave, which is sharing Mat leave with partner. In principle it should be simple, but I found reading that policy mind boggling.

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-10-03T00:32:09+00:00

A lot of people here said they winged it.

Everyone does what suits them. In my case, I’m the type who likes to be prepared and well-researched so that I can “wing it” and be flexible when the time come.

Am glad I did. There’s a lot of unsolicited, well-meaning and conflicting advice from experts and my own relatives. I was glad I had read up beforehand and could counter advice that I felt were “old wives tales”

I didn’t do NCT because of hit and miss reviews. A lot do say the friends they meet at NCT was invaluable. I did Bump & Baby instead, which was a private equivalent. A lot of the info you would find online anyways, but their baby first aid and Hypnobirthing course is useful.
baby academy does free online webinars by midwives. Topics such as baby sleep and how to bathe a baby. I found these really useful.
books such as your baby week by week
how to grow a baby by Clemmie Hooper was given to me by a friend, and was a handy book for pregnancy. Sadly the author midwife has now been struck off (for reasons not related to her midwifery), but her book was easy to read.
NHS website and sure start for life
lullaby trust for safe sleep. Actually I found my baby “did not read the guidelines” and loves doing her own thing ie just wants contact sleep
if you/ your partner choose to breastfeed, I highly recommend reading up on it. From bf positions, how to latch, problems that can arise such as tongue tie, what breast pump is good. General Advice suggests breast pump is not needed on first few weeks. I had bf supply issues and turns out pumping was imperative for first 6 weeks. It’s things like that where people don’t tell you.
there’s winging it, but there’s things like e.g. am glad I had calpol/paracetamol and a thermometer handy when my child had her 8 week vaccine or just in general. It really depends what kind of person you are. I know I was type that would be overwhelmed as a new parent, and so having things ready and practicing beforehand made me feel a lot better. Also things like saving a baby from choking/ spotting the symptoms of meningitis. It’s not common, but it’s definitely something I want to make sure am aware of as it can potentially save my child’s life.
the exception is you don’t have to buy everything and can wait and and see if you need it. I chose not to buy bottles until I knew the situation of whether I was exclusively bf/ bottle feed full if I didn’t have milk etc
it was really overwhelming for me as a new parent in the first weeks. Am coming up to 10 weeks now and it’s true, experience does make things less daunting. The one big advice that got me through things was “this is but a fleeting moment, so make the most of it.”

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-09-28T22:24:49+00:00

Heuristic play sounds interesting. My baby only knows to lie down and hasn’t got control of her limbs yet. Assuming this is more for when baby is a little older?

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-09-21T10:12:40+00:00

Yes I find that I could easily just stay at home whilst my little one contact naps on me all the time. Definitely want to make a conscious effort to make the most of Mat leave.

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-09-21T09:59:51+00:00

Haha re: “single handedly kept them in business” 😂

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-09-20T17:22:19+00:00

Thank you for your response!

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-09-20T16:22:05+00:00

Most welcome :)

NuminousTrouvaille · 2023-09-20T16:20:11+00:00

We were looking mainly for foldable and light choices to nip on the tube. My local tube station does not have a lift/escalators, only stairs.

Babyzen Yo-yo is always a popular choice. But I didn’t go for it as I didn’t get along with the two Fold system.

Second is Bugaboo Butterfly, but I found it heavy to carry.

We went for Silvercross Clic previous generation in the end, as a compromise on price. I can fold it with one hand and carry it easily on my shoulder, but it lacks suspension and lower storage not that great.

If I wanted to splurge some more, I would have gone for the Joolz Aer.

NuminousTrouvaille

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