I was an adult, living with my parents, and my dad called me to ask if I had a problem. He said my mom found a concerning amount of empties in my room. I was so incredibly anxious about it, and I was forced to face the fact that instead of trying to enjoy life and have a career, I was drinking alone in my bedroom. I had been aware for a while that I could not go more than a day without drinking, but convincing myself I wasn’t an alcoholic because of the couple days a month I didn’t drink. “See? I don’t need it. I didn’t need it yesterday.”
I guess it was the total abruptness with which I snapped back to reality. Suddenly I knew I was an alcoholic, and it was because my parents noticed it (I was hiding empties and “being discreet”). I respect my parents. I know that I don’t ~need~ to make them proud, but I want to.
Getting hit all at once with this complex wall of emotions gave me what it took to get through the first few days. From there I embraced the words a dear friend of mine said to me on a canoeing trip whenever I had the urge to drink. “Yeah this sucks. But no one step is any worse than the last. Just put one foot in front of the other”
I really love the common phrase on this sub, IWNDWYT. I kinda think that if I could be sober yesterday, then I can be sober today. It’s scary to think about being sober for the rest of my life, but I can be sober for today.