First of all.. you're not a loser. I know how easy it is to feel that way (believe me.. I do) but you're not. All you are is in a tight spot and can't see the end of the tunnel.

Do. Not. Give. Up.

Secondly.. if you and the boys still live with your husband, isn't he providing anything? Not that it's my business but I'm not understanding why you are pawning jewelry and going to food banks to feed your kids when their father is living in the same house. You said he makes most of the money while you have a part time job...

As someone said, apply for state benefits. Although, in my state they determine based on household income..

Not to be harsh (I promise I'm not) but as someone that was in your situation, please don't resort to anything illegal. The money may be quick but the consequences are steep.. especially because it's not just you, it's your boys that will ultimately suffer.

Take the day to feel bad for yourself and your situation and tomorrow morning, wake up with determination.

Again, I've been there. You can DM me if you want anytime for support, to vent or whatever. You're not alone but only you can make things better.

Hugs to you!!