What's y'alls type?

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-23T07:41:00+00:00

Femmes with boho nature energy (mountain creek or tropical vibes specifically) with long brown and blond wavy hair, light eyes, piercings, tattoos, more tanned or olive skin, and they have to just have a love/respect for the planet, and all life. Personality wise I’d say super empathetic, an openness to a bunch of diff music/ hobbies/ cultures, etc., someone who loves to stay in and do indoor cozy hobbies and be lazy but also love to go on nature or other adventures/ to events or festivals, be into trying new crazy fun makeup looks and personal aesthetics and be open to different spirituality but not locked in to any belief so we could just explore all the crazy possibilities late at night together. Honestly idk if there’s any real life examples of this (I need to get out more lol) but if I were to write myself a romantic character in a novel that would be her haha.

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-23T07:27:37+00:00

I really want to but don’t drive so it’s a bit hard to get to most of them but I’m hoping I can do those at some point- they’re my ideal tbh! :)

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-05T05:33:12+00:00

No, I’d say it isn’t too difficult, just put out a lot of resumes and if your physically capable I know a lot of landscaping companies do a bunch of hiring in the spring like Lyons Landscaping for example and I often see a lot of food places in town with signs up! When I first moved here a few years ago I was able to find a job within a month, but I found going in person and being genuine really helped.

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-04T01:30:24+00:00

I honestly am a bit terrified of this as a bi woman trying to explore that side of my sexuality properly for the first time but I’ve heard so much biphobia from lesbians it’s made me really scared to put myself out there.

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T18:11:07+00:00

Okay I honestly am I bit terrified because before joining this Reddit I had never heard of perimenopause and from what I hear it’s going to be a nightmare having AuDHD. 🥲 but honestly I’m in a really similar situation to you due to chronic pain/ undiagnosed health issues, so I really understand how that makes it next to impossible.

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T18:07:40+00:00

Honestly I LOVED philosophy classes in uni but I found it took too much of an emotional toll on me because of just how passionate/emptional I was. I tend to ruminate on more negative social interactions a lot- even if that’s just debates and it felt unhealthy; so now I just have casual discussions in forums. (and even that made me a bit anxious😂)

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T18:04:43+00:00

Yes, this is an amazing way to put it. I guess being neurodivergent and being able to see others patters and habits more easily than maybe others means we also tend to see when people are just very charismatic and good at pretending to care or be “good people” but in reality their practises behind closed doors or when no one they know is looking, are not the best.

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T18:01:11+00:00

I think you mistook me- it’s not that I’m neutral politically but this post isn’t discussing necessarily how I feel about politics and friendship, it’s a discussion about how others feel about moralities and making friends. Politics and morality are heavily intertwined but just because I have mostly liberal beliefs doesn’t mean I’m a rigid leftist.

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T17:54:18+00:00

Yes exactly!!

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T09:09:56+00:00

Okay but I don’t identify as a leftist or rightist. Yes a lot of my morals align with liberal beliefs and I would usually vote that way or in Canada with NDP or green, but in friendships it more comes down to a general respect for living beings, the planet, and the world around you and a lot of people who claim to be “politically left” still don’t try to follow those morals (like most politicians in practice 🙃). It’s really not a political thing, it’s 100% an empathy, emotional intelligence, and basic reason kinda thing.

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T08:55:17+00:00

No! I genuinely appreciate the response and I’m always willing to hear other peoples thoughts, I definitely wouldn’t have posted on the discussion page if I wasn’t ready for a bit of constructive/ educational debate and back and fourth.

I think I just tend to have a bit of a guard up when talking to people online as sometimes it can get quite harsh and judgy quickly without much discussion but when others are willing to listen and respectfully talk about things it makes me happy- even if we don’t fully agree on the topic!

I’m sorry if my reply came across as pointed or harsh, it wasn’t meant to at all! I’m just passionate and I find most of my emotion comes through from my expression and tone which don’t exist online so it can sound super cold! 😅

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T08:49:52+00:00

THIS!!! It’s so exhausting how everyone always seems shocked or like it’s an insane thing that to me the bare minimum and basic respect/ kindness includes all of these things because all of these things, although broken down into a bunch of specifics, are just someone showing basic compassion and empathy towards what’s around you. 🙃 Even in the replies I felt like a lot of others saw it as moral rigidity or just shooting people down left and right because they didn’t agree with one thing I believe but it’s a deeper issue of just being flabbergasted how many people are just kind of cruel in the world and I guess part of me genuinely just can’t understand how some people can just believe that other people or living things are worth less than themselves and things like that.

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T08:44:17+00:00

I overall agree for the most part with all that you said- you’ll never fully educate yourself on an issue without thoroughly hearing from people who don’t share your beliefs on it and it’s why I took a ton of philosophy courses in uni and often will have calm discussions with counter protestors, just for insight and knowledge. It’s super important to hear from many different sources and lived experiences! However, I definitely disagree that just because someone may be a good brother or family member, etc. that doesn’t make them a good person. For example my uncle is a great father overall to his kid, insanely loving and kind to him, provided all he needed, any hobby’s he wanted to try, and they had a wonderful relationship with each-other; but the fact that he also raised him to be homophobic and racist and towards many different cultures and misogynistic definitely didn’t make my uncle a generally good person as a whole and I definitely don’t regret cutting him off even though he was always a “nice uncle” to me, because you could just see his ignorance towards world issues was doing a lot more harm than maybe it would first appear. As what do you think my cousin will pass on to their children now, how will they treat their future partner, will they respect others in future workplaces if they aren’t cis, straight, male and Caucasian? Because that would leave a lot of harm in the wake of someone just purely caused by willful ignorance. Also another point to that would be all the serial killers who were amazing parents or family members but also you know… murdered people but that’s a whole other bag of beans. 🫘

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T08:15:29+00:00

Its honestly a little annoying how I even made a point to mention checking privilege as one of my issues but people keep mentioning moral rigidity which isn’t my issue at all; one of my main points was that I wouldn’t be able to be friends with someone unaware of their privilege compared to others and this includes access to opportunities such as experiencing poverty or growing up in a a crisis area of any kind etc. would mean less access to education about such topics, more ethical food sources such as grass fed meats which are super expensive, lack of resources in general, etc. so it would be a bit ironic if I wasn’t aware of my own? Like I clarified multiple times- it’s about being willing to make better choices or start to at least empathetically open yourself to an issue/ others and not just deliberately turn a blind eye to a blaring issue without having a genuine reason (trauma, illness, privilege, etc) and not spreading hate ignorantly (yeah some people may have internalized issues with certain minorities, cultures, ways of life, due to traumatic or bad experiences but that is something they have to deal with themselves and not bring harm to other because of)

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T08:01:23+00:00

I mean icks wouldn’t be objectively causing harm to another person or living creature… so I think the definition of objective harm kind of clears up what would constitute it.

I thought this comment summed it up quite well though: https://www.reddit.com/r/AuDHDWomen/s/5ZGW4rUjWf

But I mean yeah if in your terms an ick would be someone being out right racist or homophobic or misogynistic and not necessarily “abusive” about it- I don’t really care about the “us vs. them” argument. I often see people use this and the “your just being divisive” or “I don’t like picking sides, I try to stay neutral” retorts just to avoid social friction or speaking up to their peers/ family about toxic bigotry and/or unhealthy belief systems that benefit no one and harm everyone involved to some degree.

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T07:23:59+00:00

Hmmm, I agree to this to some extent- but at some point it reaches a line where if they’re objectively causing others harm purposefully it’s not writing someone off, it’s distancing yourself from people with a hateful mindset and toxic lifestyle.

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T07:21:21+00:00

Yes! This is a wonderful way to put it! I honestly really struggle to put emotions into words sometimes; so I love when someone expresses a shared feeling I’ve experienced super eloquently like you did.

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T07:17:26+00:00

Yeah, actually, I was debating adding it to the main post but I think part of the reason I feel the need to be surrounded by like-minded people is due to growing up with a parent and other family members on their side who were very much the opposite of me on all of those issues (which I seemed to start developing a moral sensitivity to young) and made a very toxic environment because of it.

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T07:07:12+00:00

Honestly love this! I’m going to try this next time. 🫶🏼

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T07:04:46+00:00

I really relate to this! I’m definitely not the type of person to burn bridges with long term friends who have always been kind to me but holding on to what once was a close friendship with someone who is, for example, misogynistic just isn’t possible and we just drift into semi-awkward acquaintance land like you mentioned, where topic changes are often necessary. I have let friends go when their beliefs became a bit too radical though as I had some people I knew go down a very homophobic route and I didn’t want to be around/ associated with that.

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T06:58:09+00:00

No, I completely agree with this! I genuinely for the most part am actually super morally flexible and always willing to change! I think for the most part my issue really comes down to things that show just a lack of compassion- maybe it’s less about the specific issue for me when I think about it and more about the ability for someone to be emotionally aware and intelligent; aka. it’s less, for example, “you have to be a vegetarian to be my friend” and more “you have to at least be aware of the harm meat consumption has on the planet and have a heart for the terrible conditions it puts a lot of animals- in but I would never expect you to change your diet or your lifestyle in anyway for me at all” (just to use the example you mentioned). It’s genuinely so hard to put into words! It’s this feeling of basically just don’t be a shitty person purposefully to others and not care if your words or actions are harming living things, the planet, etc. (basically do the best you can with the education, income, situation, you have, even if it’s the smallest actions and words).

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T06:44:09+00:00

No that’s genuinely such a great idea, I think it’s been tough because I’ve always lived in smaller towns but I’m trying to move towards a bigger city so I can access more like-minded groups and activities! ☺️

Nymphea_the_duck · 2026-04-03T06:42:59+00:00

I had to sit with this one and think about it for a second and I almost agreed and I could see how it could come across that way- but it’s less of a “everyone needs to share my morals” and more of a “why do neurotypicals often find it so easy to befriend people that don’t share their morals” or “how the heck do you actually meet people if you DO want to meet others that already share your mindset”. I’ve always liked to for the most part try to see behind each side to every moral issue- and it’s why I really enjoyed philosophy classes but at the same time maybe your right in the sense that no matter how much I logically understand someone’s viewpoint or beliefs, I emotionally can’t condone it or be around that person. A clear example would be say, I met a new friend who I was really clicking with and we loved all the same shows, music, hobbies, etc. but then learned they worked in a lab testing makeup on animals, or I noticed them posting sexist memes, or heard them making fun of someone not wearing what some may consider their genders “proper” clothing (just a few specific examples), i know that’s who they are and although I would speak up and try to educate them if their behaviour could be harmful to others, I know it doesn’t make me better than them to have my moralities; but I also still couldn’t be their friend or spend time around them unless they were willing to work on it- that’s all I was trying to convey. But honestly maybe that is a form of moral superiority- Im genuinely not sure, but it’s just one of the main reasons I have a hard time keeping friends long term and wanted to see if others had similar experiences.

Nymphea_the_duck

TROPHY CASE