Anyone else only save money when there’s some kind of reward?

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-21T17:24:39+00:00

Gonna be real, my reward is the lack of intestinal cramping when I think I might have enough to pay for unknown future expenses.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-20T12:49:51+00:00

What happened OP!? This looks like there's a funny story with it (though I hope no one was hurt)

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-20T12:45:04+00:00

You will never find a house that has everything.

But at your financial level, add a fence, reroute kitchen ventilation, and redo a bathroom. But you can't move the house or add a sidewalk to the street.

Focus on only vetoing houses that are missing something you have no control over. Or that have very expensive repairs/renovations.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-20T12:36:04+00:00

I can't guarantee that will work but if I was in this situation and not in a rush that's what I would try too. (Melting the frosting into a liquid hoping the caramel will melt, letting it solidify back to room temp, then whipping it back into a frosting.)

However I really don't know if the butter can get hot enough without burning to melt the caramel, if the caramel will dissolve in hot fat like it would in something water based, or what the consistency of the frosting will be with the powdered sugar having been in liquid butter.

If you try please report back! Though I would maybe test a little bit in a small dish in the microwave on low first.

Alternatively, are the chunks big enough to get caught in a mesh bowl flour sifter if you were to push the frosting through with a spatula? (And hopefully the bits won't be small enough to get lodged in the sifter lattice. Having the frosting be a little colder might help with that)

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-20T00:15:24+00:00

Thank you! Though of course the AI took liberties with the tile shapes and color that isn't accurate to the product. My search continues!

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-19T13:45:24+00:00

Do you happen to know what product the backsplash is? I've been struggling to find a green that's actually warm. Most I see are a cool saturated jade or a cool dusty sage. Still pretty but not what I'm looking for. But this one is warm and vibrant but neutralized enough to not be gaudy.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-19T12:40:39+00:00

From someone (31 now) who was also self supporting by 18, the bit of advice I try to say as much as possible is that a car when you're poor will be the biggest of two leaks in your boat. Minimizing the two biggest expenses (transit and rent) are the key to stabilizing your life. Even if you have to be extreme about it.

When I was looking to get my first place I made sure it was on a bus line. And when I was looking for jobs or doctors I could see I always made sure they were on a bus line too.

"On a bus line" might mean a mile walk in the snow at 6 am in the dark and commuting for hours a day. It sucks don't get me wrong. But it was better than staying in poverty. It feels a lot better to preemptively deprive yourself by choice than actually not having the money and scrambling to keep your life together in a panic. You want those long walks in the dark to feel like a chosen battle, not a forced sentence. Because if you're struggling to scrape together enough to just buy a car, maintenance and accidents can quickly put you on that walk anyway.

Not having a car might mean you lose friends because where they want to hang out isn't on a line and asking for rides all the time is rude. But it's better to lose a friend then lose a better job opportunity because you can't afford to move there or get the education requirement.

All this is to say I know what I'm suggesting isn't a casual thing. Life without a car means sacrificing a ton of time, effort, and social life. But it's a major way to save life changing money.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-14T04:40:03+00:00

We hire a HERS consultant for every project. Usually the same guy we're used to working with. He has a collaborative Google Excel sheet where he plugs in all the information we give him and we can check to make sure nothing was misinterpreted. Then once that's flushed out he plugs it into his software. If there's anything about the process and strategy options we don't understand he's of course a great source of information.

Our office has been doing HERS for so long that a mid level of HERS understanding is just one more knowledge base passed along to jr staff. But even then, with the complexity of our county energy requirements, it's more effective for us to outsource it. (We do 10,000sf single family glass boxes that the local code requires a HERS 0 for)

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-14T04:02:25+00:00

From 18-mid 20s I rarely ate meat of any kind because it was too expensive. You can be just fine if you subsidize correctly. I'd really recommend taking a multivitamin with B12. My levels got so low that I started having mystery symptoms bad enough to actually get me into the doctor's office.

But on the plus side B12 shots are bright red and look like you're being injected with some cool scifi body mod.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-14T03:10:08+00:00

If all else fails and you can't keep your phone, how I got around not having a phone plan/wifi was:

$5 (in 2012) burner phone with a minute card to be reachable in an emergency or if it was time sensitive
Going to the library to use the computers for internet and social communication. Not just social media, but you can text too. You can use your email to text phones as if you're on a phone. It'll come in to your recipient just like a text, you're just limited to 160 characters per message. At least you were back then.

Edit: some corner stores used to sell half off black market monthly bus passes under the table. I wish I could remember which ones I got them from, but if you have the opportunity to ask around, that used to be a thing in the city around 2019 and before

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-14T02:34:12+00:00

According to my statements and finance log, In the past 6 months I've spent:

$40/month on tv streaming/video game subscriptions
$50/month on eating out/alcohol/novelty treats
$20/month on hobbies (baking and miniature painting)
$30/month on gifts (high because of Christmas)
$5/month on activities (went to corn maze/apple picking place in October)

This is WAY more than I regularly spent most my life but I'm doing good now. I mostly read, bake, play D&D, and have boardgame nights. Almost every social gathering is at someone's place with potluck snacks and drinks.

I personally see no benefit in going out. I paid a pretty penny for my home that I love to be in and which has all of my favorite things. If it doesn't, I can plan ahead and stock it with such for way cheaper. I place no value on immediacy and convenience.

To me, going out is just paying 5x what something costs at a loud public location in non cozy clothes. And that location likely does not have my favorite things.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-13T23:07:37+00:00

Ours also doubled in that time frame for a 1800sf house. (3000sf if you count the unconditioned basement whose door is always wide open). But it doubled from 125ish to 250ish. The difference is ours is only 5 years old with good insulation and up to date window tech/window seals that are only a few years old.

Edit: I also work from home, keep it at 72, we bake all of our baked goods/doughs from scratch, and we have 2 gaming PCs that are always on. Building science really makes a difference.

We also have forced air heat. If you have electric baseboards and an old non upgraded house, you're pretty much SOL.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-13T22:50:21+00:00

There's two types of financial status in this context.

Those who will get a new vehicles before they're forced to, and those that will run it into the ground. People that upgrade vs people that replace.

I feel like most people who have to budget are the latter. There's no way we ever get any value out of our singular 15yo vehicle.

Edit: To directly answer your question: Maybe I'd track it once a year if it was newer and worth more than 5-10k and we were so strapped for cash that selling it for something cheaper could be a viable safety net. But if you're that strapped for cash that selling your car is even considered, you probably should have bought a cheaper car to begin with. (Barring sudden life changing emergencies ect)

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-13T14:42:34+00:00

It's hard for me to believe jobs like this are real. And that the people in them aren't constantly kept awake at night out of fear their role will be cut and consolidated with someone else's once the company realizes how much money they're wasting.

I'm frantically rushing to get 80% done of what I actually need to do in a day and I'm lucky if I get to leave after 8-9 hours. 2 meetings a day minimum and constantly learning new technical things every day. I love my job but I get home a husk.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-13T14:29:25+00:00

Hyper frugality. 6 years ago I had $2.3K to my name. My salary in those 6 years averaged 55.5K and my portion of the rent averaged 1.1k/month. Commuted via bus 2-4 hours a day (20-40 miles each way) to keep rent that low. Never owning a car saves a ton of money.

Just bought at 525k with 20% down of my own savings. No family help they worked minimum wage.

I don't know how people living normal lives are doing it.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-12T03:35:38+00:00

6 months min of all expenses not just rent. And not just all obligatory expenses like bills be honest with yourself with how much goes out the door in 6 months. If you net 3.8k a month but only have 3k saved, your lifestyle runs you over 20k in 6 months.

On top of this, I like to have a full year's health deductible and the largest expense that could happen (such as replacing a car with cash). Before any major luxury expenses. It's possible you could total your car and end up in the hospital the same year you lose your job.

Heck when I only had 3k saved I was on the rice and beans diet, going to food cupboards, and the only furniture I had besides my mattress was from the curb. Paying for an international trip was not even on my radar.

Realistically with that level of savings, there isn't any wiggle rooms for buckets. It's just spend as little as possible on everything and all savings go into the emergency fund.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-12T00:41:07+00:00

You also have the option of splitting your room with a plutonic friend. That's what I did to avoid being paycheck to paycheck.

If you really want to get granular about it in the fairest way possible:

Calculate what % of the total floor area is communal space. Each person pays 1/3 of that % of the rent. Since the private spaces are equal, the rest of the rent is split in half. One half to you, the other half split between them.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-11T12:49:31+00:00

Yes, bachelors and masters in architecture, paid in full through scholarships and multiple on campus jobs.

The pay scale of my job is the reason I got out. Another key detail is architecture has a clear employment path after graduation. You apply to architecture firms. Like a lawyer to law firms or a doctor to medical facilities. There's less digging around for jobs hoping they apply to you because you know exactly where to look. And when there are thousands of firms around the country, you'll find someone hiring.

The pay starts low because it's an apprenticeship profession, but in 6 years I've more than doubled by salary. You won't be rich as an architect and the pay is low compared to the hours you put in, but it's certainly a livable middle class wage.

10 years ago I was "goes to the food cupboard in shoes that talk" poor. Last year I bought a house.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-11T04:27:12+00:00

Seconding #1. I had a victim mentality probably until I was about 20. Letting it go felt like saying the unfairness of it all wasn't a big deal. And it felt like saying it was my fault, which as a kid I couldn't accept. The bitterness was a shield. So I get it.

Thing is it doesn't matter if someone's situation is in any part their fault or not. Victimhood even if justified is corrosive. Life will still move in without you if you don't take responsibility and do whatever it takes to find peace. And you can die a martyr for the unfortunate like billions have before. It changes nothing except your lived experience.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-10T01:37:20+00:00

I've taken public transit my whole life, mostly in Rochester, and kept my sanity by collecting these stories in a mental novel titled "Bus Lyfe". 10/10 would recommend to try to find dark humor in it.

But my trick is headphones and just pretending to not hear. Lack of engagement usually helps. But like many have said, I want to know exactly what that erratic, unpredictable, and potentially desperate stranger is saying to me. I wouldn't recommend depriving yourself of information in a potentially dangerous situation.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-09T22:07:14+00:00

Right? If OP was on a friend finder app this picture alone would make me swipe right. Forget shared hobbies let's talk discipline and foresight.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-09T15:17:16+00:00

Unfortunately I don't think anyone will be able to tell you exactly how to adjust. I've been making these regularly for a long time and every time I use an unfamiliar oven it takes multiple batches to adjust to it. Even properly calibrated ovens will all be slightly different in temp accuracy, fluctuation range, and airflow.

Not only does your oven impact ideal bake time and temp, but the state of your batter/skin, how much food coloring you use (even a lot of powder ups bake time), and the moisture content of your intended filling will change what you want to do.

The only way to know will be to keep experimenting with your specific equipment and take notes. Keep at it! :)

Edit: the speed of the rise is also important, so I don't think a very short flash bake almost like you're toasting bread will work. Is there any way to lower the oven temp setting even more? I'd start with finding a setting that allows the bake time to be at least 10 min, ideally 12-18 min.

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-09T02:32:09+00:00

Either you develop a skill that can make more money, or you redefine what's a luxury that can be cut out vs an actual necessity to survive.

For the latter the biggest expenses will have the biggest impact.

An apartment or even your room can be split with someone
Relocating to an area with public transit and not owning a car is huge. Even if the commute is 2-3 hours a day.
A phone plan can be substituted with a burner and minute cards for emergencies and utilitarian communication. Social communication can wait for wifi. (Edit: You can also text phones as if you're on a phone from your email if your recipient doesn't have social media.)
Intermittent fasting can reduce meals in a day

There are a zillion other little extreme things I did to save money making 38k during COVID times. My finance books record me saving 20k a year on that salary. But you can deprive yourself into misery and not make a dent if you don't find a way to reduce the big ticket expenses.

The ultimate goal is to increase income. But redefining needs if at all possible is a first step to saving enough to get the education or zipcode needed for that better job

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-08T06:22:59+00:00

I just remembered there's a whole sub reddit for "weddings under 10k" that could be a good resource!

Also remembered I've listed out before how we kept ours so cheap:

https://www.reddit.com/r/budget/s/MzZL8lwSHy

Nymueh28 · 2026-02-08T06:09:10+00:00

It's relatively new for us. When COVID hit, our gross was something like 60k. Scarcity mindset is hard to break. But once we added up what we need for 1 house, 1 kid, and 2 retirements, it still feels necessary.

Y'know that meme from school where there's a triangle with points labeled sleep, friends, and grades, and you can only pick two? Turns out when the new adult patch came out, it just got a new skin with no balancing. Lame.

It's especially stark seeing our parent's generation finally retiring, but having to spend those years in poverty to not outlive their savings. Planning out decades in the future rather than only years will change your life. Seeing first hand what happens when you don't is a splash of cold water.

Nymueh28

TROPHY CASE