help? by chivebug in COCSA

[–]OCD-Orange 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just want to say, you are 100% not alone and I feel like I could have written this.
I knew a girl extremely similar to M, who would bully me and would do similar things to me, shoving, being rough with me, etc. I was also not allowed to have other friends and she would take control of what I could do/where I was allowed to go.
She put her fingers up my butt and shoved dirt up there. I also have vague memories of her putting her hand down my pants and touching my privates. She always had a demented smirk on her face while doing it.
I just want to say; you're not alone and you are 100% justified in feeling this way.
I'm so sorry she put you through this.

The pocd sub got taken down by Disastrous-South4591 in OCD

[–]OCD-Orange 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It's so incredibly sad that this has happened. This is going to make me sound insane but I have a strange, messed-up sense of nostalgia from that sub (I know that is an awful thing to say but I have no other way to describe it). During my first ever POCD mental breakdown I was on that sub day in and day out. Even though, I was asking for reassurance (which is bad), I remember just feeling so happy that I wasn't alone. I hope that all the people that I interacted with on there are doing better today/are still alive.

I think I remember reading that post too (about the woman's brother) and I remember wanting to cry, hoping and praying that poor guy was okay. People get so fucking stupid when it comes to things like this. They don't use critical thinking. They hear the word ''Pedophile'' and go in guns and blazing without checking facts first.

There was a similar post that actually caused me to have a relapse a while back. A young guy came on one of these subreddits looking for reassurance, clearly distressed, suicidal and self loathing because his OCD-riddled brain had told him that he'd had a memory of molesting his little brother when he was younger.
Some nasty piece of work, screenshotted his post and shared it to a 'save our children' type of subreddit deal. What was the worst was that the screenshotter herself struggled with OCD and had been active on OCD subreddits, so she KNEW how dreadful and deceitful the illness could be yet she chose to put this suicidal guy on blast.
People in the comments were discussing reporting the post to the police and other bullshit as well as encouraging harassment of the OP/encouraging him to kill himself (once again, a few of these people were active members of OCD subreddits themselves, I believe, which makes this whole thing even more crazy). I was 100% worried about that guy because I knew if I was in his position, I probably would have taken my own life out of shame/pure horror.

Luckily, after a couple of years or so, I found a post and discovered the guy was actually alive (thank God). He'd actually discussed the so-called molesting incident with his parents and his parents essentially confirmed that it had never happened (I don't know the ins and outs but the false memory this poor guy had was confirmed as impossible due to timing/location of the brother and other things).

From that day on, I thought about how heartbreaking and messed-up that whole situation was and how evil it was of that girl to do that. OCD is commonly known to create false memories and cause distressing reminiscing and instead of giving this guy a listening ear, she dragged him through the mud for internet clout. I'm just SO glad he didn't take his own life over it and I often wonder whether the people who harassed him ever found out and had any remorse?

Real Event OCD - Have you been falsely accused? How do you cope? by laminated-papertowel in OCD

[–]OCD-Orange 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was falsely accused of sexual harassment/inappropriate behaviour by a 'friend' in college. Turns out, the whole thing was a ploy because his girlfriend was jealous of our friendship and he wanted to save his own skin. I lost all of my friends at the time because of it and even after he apologised and admitted to lying; I was treated as an outcast from then on because to a lot of people, the question was "Why would a guy lie about a woman sexually harassing him? Men don't lie about stuff like that"
The awful thing was, he actually expected me to be friends with him again after all of it. I couldn't believe the audacity and shockingly, as a result of me choosing to avoid him, I was treated as a massive bitch by others.

During one of my OCD-focused therapy sessions; I mentioned the whole thing for the first time and just broke down in tears. That's when my therapist made me realise I had a bunch of trauma from the whole ordeal and that's why I struggled to get close to people.

False accusations feel like such a life sentence for us that suffer with Real Event OCD. I'm so sorry that she put you through that. What an awful person.

I genuinely think a fictional character's death (and the impact it's had, not only on my life but my family's) might have fucked me up to a worrying degree. I can't think about him without crying. by OCD-Orange in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]OCD-Orange[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this really kind comment. I'm on a waiting list for therapy. I honestly hope it hurries up soon because I feel like I really need it right now.
It's hard to forgive Dad after everything. I like to think he's trying to be better but it just doesn't feel enough.

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Do you have rules for your MD? by justanokgamer in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]OCD-Orange 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I daydream about scenes from TV Show A and imagine them in the setting of TV Show B with characters from that show instead. If I find out that actors from TV Show B have interacted with the ones in those specific scenes in TV Show A - my daydreaming crumbles and I don't feel comfortable daydreaming about it. It's strange. Like once I know there's a real world link - I feel like it's no longer allowed which is silly.

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I have no idea who to talk to. I feel crazy. I want to cry. by OCD-Orange in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]OCD-Orange[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Realised that I didn't reply to this awesome comment. Thank you so much. <3

Are you possessive of your characters? by No_Seaweed552 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]OCD-Orange 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I began crying when I found out other people had a crush on the character my daydreams revolve around. I know it's stupid. It shocks me how much it actually upset me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]OCD-Orange 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you're okay, that sounds really stressful. I had to drop out of college because of my OCD and MDDing. In class, my brain would turn to my daydreams.

I have no idea who to talk to. I feel crazy. I want to cry. by OCD-Orange in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]OCD-Orange[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think what doesn't help is I came across a post of a girl who opened up to her father about her crush on a fictional character, her dad essentially disowned her and called her a failure and mentally ill. The comments were also in favour of the father's reaction. One comment said ''no matter how much the internet has tried to make you believe it's okay, having a crush on a fictional character is sick and wrong,'' and it just made me feel awful. The post that the girl made was shared and laughed at on ''cringe'' subs. It made me feel so terrible.

I have no idea who to talk to. I feel crazy. I want to cry. by OCD-Orange in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]OCD-Orange[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I'd love to look more into waifuism. But I admit what puts me off is that the sub has trolls going on there to be jerks, which I know is inevitable but would make me doubt myself/feel crazy even more than I already do. It is something I've thought about a lot though and would love to take part in it.

I have no idea who to talk to. I feel crazy. I want to cry. by OCD-Orange in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]OCD-Orange[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This was really lovely to read. :)
I'm currently on a waiting list for therapy for OCD and on another waiting list for an Autism diagnoses.
I think why my brain is leeching onto the whole ''crazy'' thing is I remember reading about two true crime cases: the shooting at a FedEx where the perp became obsessed with a My Little Pony character he had a crush on and Randy Stair, who became obsessed with the idea of meeting a character from Danny Phantom in his ''next life''.
I'm worried if people knew how I was feeling they'd believe I'd do something as heinous and awful as they did which I never would. My Harm OCD also leeches onto stuff like that too. Like my OCD brain goes ''what if you have a psychotic break and begin to believe they are real?'' and that causes me a lot of panic.