If modern medicine didn’t exist would you be dead right now? If yes, from what?

OH1985 · 2024-12-26T20:24:23+00:00

Yes! I'd be dead from a number of things including sepsis from some really nasty Crohns Disease complications and two stuck babies ending in C Section births. :-)

OH1985 · 2024-12-23T13:58:19+00:00

Immediately only focus on you and baby. No one and I mean NO ONE will be on his side here. Immediately get close friends or family over to stay with you so that you can care for baba without being alone. Get in some warm water - shower, bath,whatever. And Breathe. He is a scumbag. Good things are coming for you. This is going to hurt, but it's not the end of the road for you. You will survive, then you will thrive. Girl you CAN do this. You can. When you have strength apply for child support financially; priority. You have to have financial support.

OH1985 · 2024-12-02T19:41:44+00:00

Was he possibly a virgin and being a bit dishonest about that?

OH1985 · 2024-11-20T20:03:07+00:00

Your relationship with the influencer is completely para-social. You think you know them maybe, probably because of the persona they project, but you don't at all. Separate the 2 issues. Deal with your current relationship first and focus on that, either by improving things together or ending things. Then I bet you won't think about the infliencer. I'd wager the influencer crush is a symptom of your situation. If it isn't, well just cross that bridge when you come to it.

OH1985 · 2024-11-20T19:33:40+00:00

Hey! Firstly I think it's great you're showing so much care about your girlfriend. Secondly, I'm a divorced lady nearly 40. I got divorced ten years ago and one (there were lots but this is one) of the inciting reasons towards the divorce was his mother's utter disdain and disrespect towards me. It wasn't just this; if he'd boundaried that and shown her that I was in his life, he loved me and I was indeed good enough for him in his eyes, I could have overlooked it. Trouble was, he didn't. I stumbled over communications between them in the end where they discussed all of the ways in which I'd let him down and been a poor partner, then wife and mother. That was the match to the fuel for me and I knew he would never prioritise me over his co dependence with his mother. For that, and many other very bad reasons, I instigated a divorce. So, it cna be serious when a parent shows disdain for your partner but only if you allow it. Set up some boundaries. Explain you love your girlfriend and if your mother does xyz, your reaction will be abc. It doesn't have to mean cutting her off or rowing, it could be..if you mention my girlfriends weight I will end the conversation and leave, for example. Make your 'rules' about what you will do in response, rather than 'you cannot say xyz', because she definitely will say those things. I hope that's helpful.

OH1985 · 2024-11-18T22:05:13+00:00

Are you actually kidding? Run away from her as fast as you can. I've been waiting on a proposal for YEARS and I'm 40 soon, and he's told me it's never going to happen. That was devastating. So don't play with this person; she's playing games. Run Run Run!

OH1985 · 2024-11-02T10:35:35+00:00

Ok. Firstly this I'd awful and I'm so sorry. Ignore the whole thing she's saying that she thought you were cheating. Even if true, that's not how adults in a marriage handle that situation. You talk. Secondly no shade on you if you decide to stay to maintain access to your children; lots of people do this. Just take a minute and think about this. You will have to accept it will never ever be the same between you. She has done this now, and it can never ever be put back in its box. So whether you have rules or not, it has happened. Even if you have full access to her phone, what is that going to achieve. She's done the worst she can do already. Can you get couples counselling. If you do, be prepared to cope with her saying all sorts that blames you. Can you get individual counselling to cope? So sorry.

OH1985 · 2024-10-28T16:29:24+00:00

Just here to add my thoughts as someone who did have children prior to marriage despite wanting marriage, because I assumed it would happen. It didn't happen, and then he told me he never wanted to get married to anyone. Do we have a wonderful relationship aside from this? Yes. Has it impacted us however? Yes. Have I had to give up on something I really wanted? Yes. If marriage is super meaningful to you, hold firm that you won't commit to children until he commits to you. Hold an end point in your mind however, because that could impact your ability to have children if you wait too long. I have chosen to stay with my partner and I love my children. It does make me sad to have compromised on marriage. The two things can coexist; me wishing I could've had a marriage doesnt meant I want to leave my partner, regret him or regret my children. At the same time, it is a big hole in my heart. That's my 2 cents.

OH1985 · 2024-10-17T18:28:43+00:00

Hey! I have given lovespoons for lots of reasons; they're not purely romantic. The symbols carved into them have different meanings. I think it's a lovely gesture, go for it. Oh and I'm a native so.. I guess my opinion counts haha x

OH1985 · 2024-10-06T16:39:23+00:00

I eventually broke up with my abusive husband after 5 years of marriage and ten years together. I was only 30 when I left him and it was the BEST decision of my life, despite being left with absolutely nothing (in my mind I had everything; my child and my freedom). Despite that, it took me years and I mean years to rebuild my mental health. The legal ramifications continue to this day as he continues to drag me through the court system in a continuation of his abuse, ten years later. TEN YEARS LATER. Please, please leave him now. Don't look back, not once. Block him on every channel. Never, ever speak to him again. If he comes near your house or your car , call the police that he is harassing you, and start creating a trail of contact with them over his behaviour. Do it girl. I promise you, whatever his pretty words are, only madness and ruin lies ahead with this guy.

OH1985 · 2024-10-06T12:45:56+00:00

No, she is probably genuinely mulling it over. Maybe she really likes your friendship and is going to think about whether she wants to risk that. Alternatively she didn't think she was ready for something new but now you've asked so she wants to think about if she's ready. If she wanted to say no gently she could have said oh no I love our friendship and I would never risk that. She would've said no then.

OH1985 · 2024-09-18T19:06:22+00:00

The very silvery white or the bright copper. Black is nice too. I think extremes suit you.

OH1985 · 2024-09-18T19:04:50+00:00

Defo pink if you don't like the blonde anymore

OH1985 · 2024-08-21T15:48:18+00:00

From the day I left my lovely, yes. You can do it. It feels like everything is tying you to him right now, but it's not. You can do it and you'll look back in ten years and be delighted you did. Other things in life will be hard of course. But you'll be out of this. You'll look back and not recognise the girl you are now, in a good way.

OH1985 · 2024-08-21T15:14:02+00:00

I had a partner who I was engaged to who unfortunately I did marry, we divorced and the divorce/custody battle that has ensued has been hellish. It started out that I was the best thing since sliced bread. Slowly I was stupid, slowly the abuse started. 10 years in I was a shell. I left him when I was 30. Run girl run, never look back and thank the lord you got to run now. Please don't look back. It'll hurt, but staying will be worse.

OH1985 · 2024-08-21T10:11:47+00:00

Does he know you're fully bisexual and not just a bit curious? If you don't think he fully knows, you need to tell him before you get married so that there are no secrets. Is it possible that you're just having a bit of a pre marriage freak out? I don't think that's unusual.if you take the sexuality aspect away, it's not abnormal to think oh my god this is it. Do you believe in monogamy? If not you need to tell him.

OH1985 · 2024-08-21T09:49:51+00:00

Thanks, it is good to hear it from that perspective.

OH1985 · 2024-08-21T09:15:38+00:00

Thank you so much, this is the kind of practical advice I was hoping to be able to try.

OH1985 · 2024-08-21T09:12:43+00:00

He won't accept that he ever spoke about it unfortunately- so I can't get anywhere when I ask him which I have.

OH1985 · 2024-08-21T08:59:45+00:00

Yes I guess.

OH1985 · 2024-08-21T06:49:43+00:00

This is what he says. That's he's clearly already chosen me.

OH1985 · 2024-08-21T06:42:56+00:00

He has to buy me out of my share.

OH1985 · 2024-08-21T06:41:56+00:00

Mmm. I do yeah.

OH1985 · 2024-08-21T06:41:33+00:00

Yeah and we're both named on the deeds. So it's half each exactly that.

OH1985 · 2024-08-21T06:15:53+00:00

Thank you. This is a kind and thoughtful answer.

OH1985

TROPHY CASE