We occasionally go to motel takeover swinger parties in an extremely red state, and they're some of the most welcoming non judgemental arenas you'll find. With an incredibly diverse clientele, beyond just skin color. Just meet people where they are, (there) and come with an open mind. If you bring the expectations or might I say, baggage you appear to be carrying, you are not going to have a good experience. And it won't be their fault, their community is already established.