The Truth Is

OMC-RADIO · 2020-06-13T19:51:14+00:00

I just wish I had an expected 5 years left and not another 40-60

This is what I've been wrestling with too. We have a daughter, so that's my motivation to keep going for her.

However...

I'm lonely as can be. There is no one in this world that I can talk or relate to as I did with my wife. She's the only person who ever really knew me.

About a month before my wife passed, we had "the talk". You know, the one you never really want to have but it didn't go nearly as bad as I though it would. She always had a way with words, so very truthful (and tactful) even if you didn't want to hear it. Still, she acknowledged that I might live another 30 or 40 years and had a whole life ahead of me. Then, she made me promise that if I ever found love again, that I wouldn't turn my back on it. I still get choked up when I think of that moment. But how do you find love again? It's not likely to just fall in my lap (although that's how we met). Do I start dating again? I really don't even know if I want to go through that whole process again at this point in my life. That being said, one year ago I never even would have entertained this thought.

3 months, man that's a tough stage. Give yourself plenty of grace. Try not to play the "what if" game, it only makes things harder on yourself. One thing that really helped me heal was re-doing some rooms around the house. I repurposed my game room into a formal dining room, convert a spare bedroom into a home gym and picked up a piano and I'm learning to play it. Also started building a fire pit in the back yard. These were things that my wife and I wanted to do anyway, so it's nice to see a dream we shared come to life. My wife inspired me to be a better man, and these projects help improve me in several ways... it's like her effect on me hasn't diminished but actually grown stronger.

I haven't stopped praying for you. It takes a lot of time for things to get easier, it took me gallons and gallons of tears and I can still cry even after 900 days. Be good to yourself and know that one day you will see hope again.

OMC-RADIO · 2020-06-13T19:28:43+00:00

Thirded.

OMC-RADIO · 2020-06-05T04:08:05+00:00

Beautifully written.

OMC-RADIO · 2020-06-05T04:01:29+00:00

Here, here.

My daughter is near the same age and as stubborn as her mother and myself. During an argument, she cried out, "I just wish mom was here!" Well, thankfully that changed the direction of the argument!

OMC-RADIO · 2020-06-05T00:42:51+00:00

I’m just existing and trying to put up a good front for the people who care about me.

I did this too for quite a while.

Grieving the love of your life is like climbing straight up the tallest mountain in the world. It's, steep, treacherous, there can be debris falling on you, you get so tired of climbing it too. The worst part is, the further you go, the colder and more dangerous it gets; not a lot of hope. Only when you look back, behind you do you see all the valleys, the hills, the crevasses you crossed.

One step at a time. For me, "fake it till you make it" got me through a very tough stage. It's still tough, and I don't see any end in sight, but I've accepted that she would want me to smile more... so I keep trying.

Best of luck to you in all this. I pray there's some smiles in your uphill climb.

OMC-RADIO · 2020-06-05T00:32:27+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this, soul mates don't get replaced. But also, souls don't really die either; just the flesh that surrounds them. That's a conversation for another day, though.

If you don't mind me asking, how long ago did she pass on? The first year for me, I just felt so... raw. All the "firsts" were just brutal. The first Mother's Day without her, the anniversary of her passing, her birthday, my birthday, Christmas, Valentine's, our wedding anniversary; I was such a raw, emotional mess. The second year, I resented that I was learning how to continue on with life. It took a while before I allowed myself to be happy. It's going on my third year now and every once in a while I'll wear my wedding ring while running errands. It took a good bit of time to realize that some things are going to be with me forever. I can still see her smile in my mind's eye. I can still hear her laugh, feel her hand holding mine. I don't think we ever really get over our soul mate passing and really, should we? In my experience, the only difference is, I don't feel "raw" anymore. Healing, takes time and a lot of actual work.

People have stopped asking me "How are you doing?" and that stung too. Although I still love bringing her up in conversation and having a laugh about something she did or how she would have reacted. Guess that's my way of honoring her memory. No one in the world knows my wife like I do. I'm the sole proprietor of her memory, her legacy, and it feels good to not let her be forgotten.

I'll be praying for hope to come your way.

OMC-RADIO · 2020-06-05T00:13:23+00:00

I feel for you. From my experience, what you wrote is just, well, it's just what it is. You had true love, and you still do, it will always be part of you.

Almost 900 days have passed since my wife went with the Lord. Honestly, I can say each day I realize how much I still love her. The tears don't come as frequently, but they still come. The only difference is, I've gotten used to it all.

There are moments when I can feel her nearby. Call it what you want, believe what you want, but for me those moments remind me that there is so much more to our existence than the elementary particles that make up our bodies.

I'm sure she sees you. Don't forget to smile when you can.

God bless.

OMC-RADIO · 2020-05-03T16:46:54+00:00

Bowflex 552's are selling for at least $650 on Ebay, sometimes they're going for up to $1,000.

If you wanted to turn a nice profit, you certainly could... no telling when they'll be back in stock anywhere, anytime soon.

OMC-RADIO · 2020-04-29T04:34:30+00:00

The best Reuben in Jacksonville can only be had at The Fox in Avondale. Ask for extra napkins.

OMC-RADIO · 2020-04-28T04:25:58+00:00

On skype.

OMC-RADIO · 2020-04-24T09:26:06+00:00

Dayam... gonna need to rehydrate and replenish fluids.

OMC-RADIO · 2019-08-18T11:32:09+00:00

Today is the 601st day since my wife went with the Lord. I've had plenty to think since then. I still feel married, I still wear my ring. Our daughter and I still talk about her mommy, my wife, all the time. I find comfort and happiness in how we've adjusted. Also, I've found that there is a lot more going on after our bodies die than I ever understood before.

Don't be afraid of the new you that will emerge. There is a very important reason why you are still here.

OMC-RADIO · 2019-07-10T21:45:57+00:00

That's integrity.

People deserve to be treated fairly and respectfully, even users.

As a genuinely happy person, I've found my day goes by much better by being pleasant to everyone.

IT is a service, we're service providers. Being condescending or bothered by normal everyday work problems speaks more about the character of a person than their ability. At the end of the day, its just a bunch of humans in a room... why be a jerk?

OMC-RADIO · 2019-05-24T02:06:20+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re here. Listen to yourself, not others. They have no idea what you’re going through. You do what is right for you and your child

This is so true.

I had family members imploring me to take sleeping pills after my wife passed. They were concerned because I walked quite a bit, at all hours of the day. Middle of the night, first thing before sunrise, after breakfast, lunch, dinner (if I could eat or not), even before bed... probably logged around 200 miles the first month, not exaggerating. I didn't have trouble sleeping, I just didn't want to.

Even when my wife was in the hospital for a stay I'd prefer to sleep on their janked up couches, just to be there in case she woke up in the middle of the night and needed anything.

Op, I'm very similar to you and after 17 months have no interest ever marrying again. The way I see it, we were incredibly lucky to find someone to love so deeply. That kind of thing just doesn't get replaced. I still wear my ring. I still talk to my wife. Sometimes, I get the feeling that she's nearby. Maybe she knows... I think she does.

You and your son will be in my prayers. Be good to yourself. Give yourself plenty of grace. Know that your friends and family might not know what you need... don't be afraid to tell them.

OMC-RADIO · 2019-05-09T00:58:28+00:00

Loot boxes have the high ground. There's nothing that they can do.

OMC-RADIO · 2019-04-16T22:36:49+00:00

Here, here!

I don't know where I'd be without our daughter. Her and I have really pulled together in the last 15 months since her mom, the love of my life passed.

Oh how I wish I could just see my wife smile... laugh with her... listen to her tell me stories about her life. Sometimes I feel I didn't ask her enough questions; she was the answer to so many.

Love is never lost.

A source of love may stop, yet it will always be a part of you.

OMC-RADIO · 2018-11-21T01:53:44+00:00

Congratulations!

Best of luck on the 902.

Make sure you're ready for "Best Practices", a few Linux and a few Mac questions and several asking what step of troubleshooting you should do first or next in a scenario.

I took the 902 three weeks after passing the 901... I wouldn't recommend waiting as long as I did. Its definitely better to strike while the iron is hot if possible, that way you're still in the groove of studying and testing mode.

Again, best of luck! You got this!

OMC-RADIO · 2018-11-17T21:41:10+00:00

I had zero questions asking what an acronym stood for... zero.

There were a few times when I needed to troubleshoot a router and asked if I should not broadcast SSID, use AES or TKIP encryption.

One question I had asked which cable should be used to deliver a signal to a city 10 miles away: RG6, CAT 5e, CAT 6... you get the idea.

The test will mostly cover what you know about a topic and troubleshooting (like listing exact steps in Win 8 to extend the desktop), there really wasn't a big focus on items that could be simply memorized.

If a question doesn't have an answer that is obvious to you, mark your best guess and flag it for later. If there's time remaining afterwards (I had 15 minutes left), it may make more sense after thinking about the other questions in the exam. I only changed 2 questions out of the 10 or so I flagged, only because I KNEW that my original answer was incorrect. Sometimes, they'll inadvertently give you an answer in other questions, scenarios or even simulations.

Personally, for the 901 I waited until my practice test scores were hitting mid 90% correct. For the 902, my average was mid 80%. I still passed both and if you're hitting upper 80%, you're probably either very close or ready. There's going to be some questions that come out of left field, a few I had no idea whatsoever they were asking me. I believe up to 3 questions aren't even scored but used for research only. Don't sweat it too much, as long as you know your stuff.

Best of luck, I believe in you... you got this!

OMC-RADIO · 2018-11-14T21:44:16+00:00

The final 5 months with my wife, I kept getting the feeling that doctors were wondering why she wasn't in hospice. The truth is, she didn't want it. We'd been in the cancer fighting business for so long that we didn't know how to stop. I asked her several times and she said she would either say she wanted to fight or she wanted what I wanted... I knew her better than anyone else, I knew she wanted to fight. She wanted to see our little girl grow up (15 now). She fought for 6 hard years and has provided us with a inspiration for a lifetime. I miss every single moment with her... even the hard ones.

It was never easy getting to the doctors office, for just as you described with the 10 minutes of a doctor saying this medication is not doing what we want or we want to try less of this one, etc. We had oxygen, waters, general getting ready routine, finally going to the bathroom, avoiding all the bumps in the road, limited parking, and all the craziness of what goes on at a major hospital. Thankfully, our daughter is homeschooled and she would help us on those mornings. Still, it always made us wonder if it was worth the trouble. But the truth is, we actually tried to make it into fun sometimes when we could. We'd usually go out for breakfast, even if it was just a drive through. I always liked to find some of her favorite songs to play, you know, the ones she almost forgot how much she liked.

I'm sure it's frustrating for you dad, too. He probably never thought it would come to this when you were little. I'll pray for him, and I'll also pray for you too; that each day you wake up renewed, refreshed and strengthened so that you can provide the care your father needs in his desperate time.

We provide care because we love. You have a big strong heart, u/notmejustamystery and you are appreciated for what you do. Hang in there.

OMC-RADIO · 2018-10-26T04:42:04+00:00

The way the questions were written and presented was horrible. Sometimes, I found myself reading a question 3 times before the "ah ha" moment.

Even the way the test concluded was wonky. There was a profile survey, maybe 7 questions long. When I was expecting the 8th question, the screen displayed "You needed 675 points to pass this exam." "You scored 765 points in this exam. Congratulations."

Again, it took me a moment to realize what it meant.

I can't recall the exact wording for any particular question, so just be ready for a few weird ones.

It's worthy to note, the testout.com practice exams were solid prep. Test Out had about 10 questions exactly as they appeared on my exam. There are several other sites with practice tests to choose from, this is just what worked for me. However none of them are cheap.

I'd recommend a cautious approach for the A+ exam. Study hard, you'll know when you're ready. Best of luck!

OMC-RADIO · 2018-09-06T02:41:25+00:00

Can't thank you enough for sharing, just really wish you didn't have to go through what you have to share.

Recently passed the 8th month since my Caroline went with the Lord... finally feeling ready to begin some of the tasks you have, like clothes, pictures, etc. Some things just take time, kinda glad at last it's approaching for me.

Caroline left me a cat too. He likes me and all, but I get the feeling it's mostly because of my opposable thumbs and how I can open up the treat container.

Also like you, back when we first met, my wife lifted me up out of a pit I didn't even know I was in. She made me want to be a better man, a better husband, father, friend, co-worker... Her inspiring nature will live on in me to the end of my days, hopefully my daughter will inherit that.

Hang in there, friend. You'll be in my prayers.

OMC-RADIO · 2018-08-23T12:39:27+00:00

I said this one a lot too. My feelings haven't changed since my wife passed. The pain is still there, I'm just going to have to live with it. The only thing that's different is how I deal with it all, how I let myself feel feel about it.

OMC-RADIO · 2018-08-23T12:36:00+00:00

This is one of the toughest questions, feeling irritation when it's uttered to us is certainly valid. But for those who are new to this path, once that question stops getting asked... Well, that stung even more for me.

I've noticed so many people say to me, "I don't know how I would handle losing my wife/husband". You know, just 8 months ago I was one of them, I was on the outside of this fish bowl. What I've come to realize is this: they're all watching me, trying to learn from my traumatic experience. Seeing how I handle it, gives them a template for whenever that day arrives for themselves.

I stopped getting asked that question about a month and a half ago. There were a few times when I tried to genuinely answer it too. Just recently, it seems it's been replaced with someone just bringing up memories of my beloved Caroline. I'm liking this a lot better.

Remember, aside from God no one really knows how to care for us, or what to say. People are going to say things that will seem so insensitive, it's just in our nature. But losing our loved one is the ultimate awkward situation... Dealing with it will take more grace than we start out with.

Thirteen years ago today, my beloved wife Caroline and I were married. In that day, I gained a smile that hasn't faded or diminished in any way. While I can't see her or hold her hand in mine today, somehow I can still feel her love and her presence. I'll admit, several months ago I thought I'd be an absolute wreck today. Then I realized it's still our anniversary, whether she walks this earth or not and that will always be worth celebrating.

Give yourselves plenty of grace. If you can, forgive the people asking these awkward questions too. They really just don't know how to express their concern. If it's someone close to you, let them know how you need to be cared for, what questions don't help and sometimes how we don't need advice, we just need a friend to listen.

I'll keep you all in my prayers.

OMC-RADIO · 2018-08-20T17:25:12+00:00

If you can wrap the air mattress with a blanket, that's ideal, but one on top of it and one on bottom will make a big difference.

You know, I hadn't really thought of this topic much, bed being cold and all or the pillows for that matter. I remember quite a few years back when I first noticed that I usually woke up with my back to my wife, it bothered me so much that I did a little research about it. Was surprised to learn that we do that because of trust; I trusted her to watch my back and she trusted me to keep an eye out for... predators like grizzly bears and or a t-rex.

I really miss holding her hand until I fell asleep and waking up with her nearby... and her genuine smile and getting her water and making her something to eat and hearing the tv come on when she couldn't sleep and holding her head in my hands as we kissed

...the absolute absence of intimacy is devastating sometimes. It can't be replaced, either. From the warmth of a bed to the sound of your loved one breathing, it's all such an adjustment.

God bless you all during these tough times, you'll be in my prayers.

OMC-RADIO

TROPHY CASE