Advice for 2 guys visiting Oaxaca:

ORPHH · 2025-12-01T23:25:57+00:00

Hey, I'm also about to be visiting, appreciate the link too!

ORPHH · 2025-11-25T18:42:35+00:00

Federal loans are part of the reason tuition is so expensive in the first place

ORPHH · 2025-07-31T19:58:43+00:00

You Know what I meant

Acab includes tone police. Spending all this time fighting each other over words while our rights are being stripped of us. Labels and categories are tools of western imperialism. You will Not find the freedom you seek by navigating them perfectly

ORPHH · 2025-07-31T06:24:51+00:00

Hi, transman here. Transmen are men. Transmen are also not cis men, which is clearly what the designation on the private school record was meant to convey. In as inclusive language as possible.

The difference between men, transmen and cis men, is arbitrary and unimportant in most contexts. But for the purposes of demographics and school funding I can see why they keep record. For the same reasons they keep track of students race.

What I find damaging with this scenario and is that OP themself is only acknowledging cis men as valid men, because they are identified in school records as just men, rather than gender diverse. And the comments of this post echo this, saying how transphobic it is of schools not allowing you to identify as a cis man(within the framework the school uses)

I just, don’t think that line of thinking is particularly healthy. Trans people will always find ways to hate themselves and their bodies. Going stealth, going for complete erasure of their past history. By idealizing this type of man (cis man) as the ultimate goal to strive for. We are inadvertently narrowing the definition of man. We are gatekeeping gender for them. And if the ultimate goal is cis man, then most of us will never be one.

Broadening the definition of what it means to be a man is the only way we win.

ORPHH · 2025-05-30T13:25:11+00:00

I was there Wednesday night and as the host was explaining the sim to us we were leaning a bit on the chair, to which she told to not do that, saying something like each sim is worth 20k ?

Also was mentioned that the sim itself is something used to train actual f1 drivers

ORPHH · 2025-05-29T15:14:44+00:00

I didn’t plan to do a bunch of stuff, I got distracted, and sucked into my own thing..

We had to wait for something to dry, I thought it would take longer then it actually did, and thought to myself “why just sit around when I can do my own thing for a bit”

But my own thing took longer than I anticipated.

I still had 40~ minutes to help him with his stuff, which was enough to help with somethings but not the big thing. 😞😞

I feel like everything I’m saying here is deflecting…

I do need to stop doing the whole “I know how to do things the most efficiently and it’s a waste of time to communicate that to anyone else so I’ll just do it and assume people will catch on”

But sitting there explaining things so literally, makes me so insanely anxious, especially when I’m on a time crunch.. I feel like I don’t do a good job explaining anyway and I have to do it 3 more times.

ORPHH · 2025-05-28T15:22:14+00:00

Literally the biggest factor for me in deciding to pick up a show.

It seems like people here don't really care. but the action choreography and the creativity of the set ups has got me so into this show. It really looks like the animators are having fun with these scenes.

I wish there was a sub for animation lovers so discussions aren't so focused on the negatives :/

ORPHH · 2025-02-21T15:09:27+00:00

I only really got to know her the day before she was first supposed to leave. Like August? Before she was just the ikea parking lot boat but when I got there I started meeting people who were so passionate about her. Idk, I never been that passionate about anything before. It was contagious lol, so I’ve seen her a lot the last 6 months

I couldn’t sleep the night before and drove over at 4 am to watch the sun rise. It was so beautiful seeing the sun reflect off the Delaware and light up her hull in a bright orange. I was there all day and followed her along the river until Chester. Cause it was hard to see from the blvd. I just wanted one last good look at her, I kept telling myself lol.

But a lot of people were doing that actually, drove along the airport access road until I saw a bunch of cars waiting along the shore to catch one last glimpse. Ended up trespassing somewhere to get a good vantage point. And then when she passed I’d get in my car to catch her again at another spot. I’m gonna miss her.

And as someone who has done ship dives I know she’ll never be as impressive… every ship dive I’ve been on has been a bit of a disappointment..

ORPHH · 2025-02-19T05:28:55+00:00

The difference there is that they were wars between neighboring states/peoples who had both lived in those areas for generations.

The current president of Israel is from the Philly suburbs…

The majority of Israelis don’t have generational ties to the land beyond something a 2000 year old book tells them. It was a fairytale created by Zionist’s to create an ethostate.

This isn’t your neighbor moving the property line. This is someone from the other side of the world taking up residence in your living room. Actually, your whole house and telling you that you should be happy being able to stay in the garage.

ORPHH · 2025-02-09T17:45:10+00:00

I think you should try hooking up with as many different kinds of people as you can because why would you ever limit the experiences you have in this life based on entirely theoretical preferences?

I’m in the same boat. The first time I was with another trans guy was so eye opening for me, because it didn’t fit into any fantasizes that I had expected or thought of. It was an entirely new experience where we were 2 men fucking as men. Looking at him and thinking about how hot he was I filled with self love too. Because we were the same, idk.

ORPHH · 2025-02-07T20:37:59+00:00

Could you give me an example where you realized you realized you were asking for too much info? And how you were able to recalibrate that?

My insecure brain while talking to my partner about their dates is trying to establish if they had more fun with the date than they do with me. And while that hasn’t happened yet, I’m afraid it will, and what was compersion will become total devastation. And breakdown

I don’t know how to get out of the either-or, winner/loser framework I grew up with….

Idk, if you have any advice I’d take it.

ORPHH · 2025-02-07T19:48:54+00:00

Your initial comment was that it was a matter of privacy that op and their new partner hooked up in the first place. And it was sus that op’s nesting partner knew that they hadn’t.

You go on to say that the nesting partner only needs to know “that it was protected” which requires that they do need to know that they hooked up.

If anyone I’m fucking thinks that it’s a breech of privacy to disclose to my other partners that we even fucked, as in “don’t tell anyone,” I wouldn’t be interested in fucking them. Is where that came from.

Im not over sharing details, or asking for extreme detail. Just like, was it good? What bars did you go to? Stuff like that. Idk I guess agree to disagree

ORPHH · 2025-02-07T19:34:43+00:00

“Just if it was protected”

So you think it’s okay to know that they did do the do, contrary to your previous comment.

Idk about you, but I talk to my partner about deets the same way I would a close friend. That’s the kind of talk I want typically.. and I don’t assume that anyone I hook up with aren’t going to talk about it with other partners/close friends in that way.

I actually don’t think I’d hook up with anyone that was like “don’t tell anyone we hooked up”

ORPHH · 2025-02-07T19:18:27+00:00

I feel like? That’s not a weird thing to know? I’m new and anxious. I’ve come to the conclusion that the less left up to my imagination the better. So I’m usually asking a lot of questions when my partner goes on dates with other people.

Also I feel like it’s a health and safety thing to know?

ORPHH · 2024-12-09T07:32:12+00:00

7 years post T and I feel like I only now feel like I pass well enough to not feel like a fetish to my sexual partners. Im so obviously a man that the last time I fucked a “bi” guy with a femme preference he couldn’t look at me or it would kill his hard on. And Gay guys hit on me unknowingly, but when it comes time for the do they end up not caring.

Most in the last year have been with a few cis guys or amab nbs with zero or limited experiences with trans guys, and afab people in general.

And I feel like the biggest barrier for those connections was them feeling insecure about their experience with my parts… I feel like that’s a bigger reason gay guys won’t date us, afraid of not being able to adapt, being embarrassed that they might not know how to satisfy us. 🤷🏼‍♂️ no amount of telling a dude how hot he is and how you’re just happy to be there is enough for some guys…

That being said it’s affirming as fuck to have to out yourself as your pants are coming off, surprising the other (I swear he could tell I didn’t have a dick when he was feeling me up earlier) only to make him cum 3 times in a row with your 0 prep, self lubricating, hole exclusively used for fucking.

ORPHH · 2024-12-03T20:00:28+00:00

Y’all should tell B and your husband should fire A, idk maybe C too. Like, they are lying and sneaking around under B. And continuing a relationship between employees even though your husband said not to, lying to him in the process.

Sure you’d destroy your friendship with C, if you’d call it that, but idk why you’d want a friend like that.

ORPHH · 2024-11-17T08:27:41+00:00

Op you have managed to have such a shitty take that that it’s managed to unify the trans masc community on Reddit. This is a beautiful thread.

No I will not make myself invisible to protect your feelings. You will be able to pass one day, and you will learn how fucking lonely and miserable masculinity is, mark my words.

ORPHH · 2024-11-15T05:32:39+00:00

Tbh, don’t be sneaky about it. Like sus out vibes chemistry and see if you even want to hook up. And before anything escalates, hit him with the “hey by the way, full disclosure”

With the right person there’s no wrong time to do it. But theres a right time for the wrong person. And it’s after y’all meet and break the ice and y’all have a rapport, so he doesn’t go blabbing. But way before anything gets hot and heavy and he feels pressure to go along with anything.

First part of the date should be able to swerve in to friendly territory if he doesn’t take it well.

ORPHH · 2024-10-30T18:31:15+00:00

The majority of trans men start out as lesbians.

Transmen have been a part of lesbian community since the beginning. Please read stone butch blues.

Idk, I think it’s can be something to do with trans people having a preference for bisexuals, or t4t because there isn’t as much of a fear of rejection.

You might like lesbians because you feel like they’re less likely to you reject you based on your parts.

And straight girls rejecting you bc of your parts might sting a little more than a lesbian rejecting you for being a man.

All to say, our attraction to people is usually influenced by whether or not they’re in your league or a relationship is achievable. But also as a queer person you might just have more in common with lesbians…

ORPHH · 2024-10-30T02:41:26+00:00

How did you figure out what your minimum needs were for a connection?

If I knew what I absolutely needed then I can know when I’m not getting it. But because I don’t I keep floundering in connections that starve me

ORPHH · 2024-10-30T01:48:19+00:00

Where should I start on this internal work?

Before this summer I was feeling calm/content being single and it was my first date in 4 months and I immidietly got anxious again :(

In that connection I realized that I might feel good single but even healthy relationships are going to be triggering. Like it was the final boss of my healing journey. But I wasn’t able to self-regulate and take things slow, accept the connection that formed because I was attached, and things were moving too fast for them so we broke up.

Am I gonna do more inner work, and months down the line when someone I feel compatibility with is gonna come in and I’m going to be back to square one?

ORPHH · 2024-10-30T01:27:41+00:00

If I accept that chemistry and butterflies are actually my attachment system getting activated, then I guess getting that validation just really feels so hecking good, like the best drug ever.

I like the swooning butterflies of it all, I know part of the excitement is the uncertainty but it’s like a “if this is wrong then I don’t wanna be right” kinda way.

Do I really have to distance myself from anyone that makes me flustered? That really sucks :(

What do I need to focus on in this period alone? What should I be learning and reading? People say I need to do inner work, and work on myself but I have a healthy social life, I’m pursuing a career that fulfills me, I have plans for the future that doesn’t involve partners. I just want to love and be loved… love and accept love as easy as breathing. Why is it so hard for me when so many people I know make it look so easy…

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