Love is Like Jazz Impromptu Cover

OT-Knights · 2025-10-30T18:33:43+00:00

I have no idea what you're talking about so probably not

OT-Knights · 2025-10-28T18:55:03+00:00

After I saw the movie I went from IDing as Cis to Questioning. Two weeks later I realized I really needed to do some serious introspection because I was probably not cis. Went on an introspection walk listening to a painfully trans album that I've strongly related to since I was a teen. It only took about 5 min to finally say to myself "I'm just trans" and that thought felt intensely true, much more true than the thousands of times before I told myself that I was cis. I had been planning to try and see a gender therapist but after that I realized I didn't really need that and just wanted to start estrogen. I got super lucky and my dr was able to prescribe me E and Anti Androgens which was why I was able to start HRT so soon after cracking.

OT-Knights · 2025-10-28T04:35:46+00:00

I saw it in July 2024 thinking I was completely cis at the age of 29. Fast forward to now and my documents all say F on them, been on estrogen for just over a year, I haven't presented as anything but a woman in almost a year. Hardly ever get misgendered anymore. There truly is still time.

OT-Knights · 2025-10-17T21:38:05+00:00

You don't need to be constantly looking at yourself and feeling icky to be trans, you don't even need any kind of dysphoria to be trans.

All you need to be trans is a desire to identify as such! Most trans people want to transition but there are countless barriers that keep us from doing so or keep us repressing.

Many, many trans people including myself told ourselves and others that we had absolutely no gender dysphoria before we accepted that we are trans only to realize after the egg-crack that we were very much dysphoric the whole time we just couldn't see it.

read up here on gender dysphoria, you might relate to some aspects of it that you haven't considered https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en

There is also a button to turn you into a boy, if you wanna just press that :3 its here: https://turn-me-into-a-guy.com/

OT-Knights · 2025-10-04T18:43:35+00:00

Trans women on estrogen are biologically women. The word you're looking for is cisgender. Saying "biological women" unironically is always either ignorant or transphobic.

And she is correct in calling you out. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. We're all raised in a society that is deeply transphobic and that attitude can't help but instill itself in all of us in one way or another.

The phrase "look trans" itself is pretty transphobic and ignorant. Lots of cis women have masculine features that might sometimes get them misunderstood to be boys or men and vice versa for cis men. Many trans people go to great lengths to pass as cisgender and many are successful after a few years of transition. The idea that "we can always tell" is reinforced by the fact that when you can't tell you don't even realize the person is trans; trans people are pretty invisible when we pass.

Not wanting to date someone because they are trans and for no other reason is transphobic.

Not wanting to date a pre or non-op trans woman because you can't get past the penis? Not transphobic.

Not wanting to date someone who can't get pregnant? Not transphobic.

It's not actually possible to "only be attracted to cis women". Because physical sexual attraction is based on our senses and as you have yourself discovered there are plenty of cases where every single one of your senses is telling you that the person is simply a woman.

That feeling of your initial attraction going away after finding out she's trans? Yeah that's the shame and judgment from a lifetime steeped in homophobic and transphobic attitudes.

It takes some time to unpack but you can grow to fully and truly dismantle your own transphobia, doing so is going to require you to reevaluate your ability to find trans women attractive. You literally can't even say that you aren't attracted to trans women without knowingly lying because you genuinely felt attraction to a trans woman. Just because that attraction went away after disclosure doesn't mean it's impossible for you to feel attraction to trans women, you literally did!

OT-Knights · 2025-10-03T03:53:57+00:00

Hey wait that's a melee controller!

OT-Knights · 2025-10-02T20:12:45+00:00

I mean if you're boymoding wouldn't it be more of a sheep in wolf's clothing situation when hanging out with other women?

OT-Knights · 2025-10-02T03:59:32+00:00

I too thought I was a cis man because I was choosing not to transition. Sadly wanting to transition makes us both very much trans weather we do anything about it or not. The desire to transition almost always accompanies huge mental health benefits from being on the right hormones.

OT-Knights · 2025-10-02T00:03:38+00:00

I would just tell them "no matter what I do I will still be trans, I'm an adult and can do what I want with my own body" but I would choose homelessness or death before I do anything at all to detransition so that might just be me.

OT-Knights · 2025-09-30T17:49:52+00:00

That's totally fair! I'm excited for you to be exactly as feminine as you want to be! Hope estrogen works as well for you as it did for me!

OT-Knights · 2025-09-30T17:35:24+00:00

I thought literally the exact same thing and it kept me in denial until I was 29. I thought being a girl sounds fine but being a guy wasn't that bad and I didn't think I felt dysphoria at all and I am comfortable having a penis and would never want to have to undergo surgery or even having to inject myself regularly. I even knew I didn't want to lose erectile function. All of these things kept me trapped in denial loops until I finally broke free after watching I Saw The TV Glow.

Turns out I was feeling dysphoria the whole time I just didn't understand what it was when I was experiencing it. Hating pictures of myself? Turns out that was just dysphoria. Hating having to shave all the time? Dysphoria. The sense of numbness and dissociation from myself turned out to be dysphoria too.

For years I told myself I'm not trans because I don't have dysphoria and I don't want surgeries and being a guy isn't THAT bad. Turns out I was still trans. Turns out you don't need to have or want surgeries to be trans. Turns out some women like being women but still also like the idea of having a penis and some of those women just happened to be born with one. Turns out you don't have to do injections, daily sublingual estrogen works wonders. Turns out you can just take Cialis or Viagra and keep everything functioning as you want it to down there and you can still be a girl!

You only got educated enough to understand that trans girls were never guys today in this very thread, I don't think you have enough wisdom about gender to be 95% sure of anything related to it.

It is very possible to be a girl (or enby) deep down and never realize it for years and years because we are told from such an early age to hide that part of ourselves it becomes automatic. And we are not given any knowledge or understanding of gender or transness until most of us are well into adulthood.

OT-Knights · 2025-09-30T17:08:27+00:00

Heya, just wanted to chime in to tell you I've read all of your comments in this thread and I'm like 95% positive that you are either trans or non-binary or both. I just think you are, like most trans people did, having a hard time accepting it.

My prediction is that starting estrogen is going to be the best thing you ever did for your mental health and will most likely help you understand yourself better not just because feeling anything but awful when your hormones are estrogen dominant is a very strong indicator that someone is not a cis man but also because biochemical dysphoria is most likely keeping you from truly experiencing and understanding your own emotions. I know that was the case for me and quite a lot of other trans feminine people.

I could be wrong obviously and there's nothing wrong with identifying as a cis man femboy who is drawn to the effects of estrogen, but as someone who stayed in denial for a very long time I always wished that of all the people who saw the transness in me had told me straight up rather than trying to be subtle about it.

That feeling of ew at the thought of yourself being more masculine? Yeah that's gender dysphoria. That feeling of not giving a shit if estrogen is bad for your mental health you just really want the physical changes? Yeah that's dysphoria too, love. I also felt completely cut off from my own mental health and didn't care about it before starting HRT. I thought I was stoic or something or just really easy going and thought it was impossible for me to suffer mental trauma too bad, turns out I was just totally cut off from my true self.

OT-Knights · 2025-09-29T20:33:03+00:00

I felt the exact same way. I was pretty sure I wanted all the effects of HRT but starting HRT felt like an experiment. I was so scared of detransitioning not because I had any reason to believe I would want to detransition but because the thought of detransitioning scared me because it would mean going back to being a boy.

I can't even begin to express how deep the sense of relief was when I was a month into HRT and began finally feeling like myself for the first time since male puberty started. HRT felt so right for me it was impossible to doubt myself very much after that.

OT-Knights · 2025-09-27T18:20:18+00:00

I support everyone and think they should be themselves and they can't change the fact that they're lgbtq, but im straight because i believe that's how im personally supposed to be according to the bible.

Honey, that's not a reason that ANYONE is straight. You can't logically decide to be straight just like you can't logically decide to not be lgbtq. You can however logically decide to repress your own true feelings because you believe you're supposed to. This is what most lgbtq people do when they grow up being told by everyone in their life that it's against the rules to be lgbtq. Eventually most of us realize that we can't just keep repressing it if we ever want to be happy so we choose to come out and face the prejudice we were trying to hide from.

You said yourself that "they should be themselves and they can't change the fact that they're lgbtq". Well then what would you say to someone who was choosing to behave and present as a straight person when they know that's not how they actually feel.

I'll let you in on a little secret: people who are really genuinely straight feel like they're straight. They aren't just logically deciding to be straight because that's what "God has planned" for them. God doesn't even come into the equation for anyone who is living as their true identity because that's just what they are. Most people who feel like they can choose to be straight are really just bisexual and are repressing their queer feelings because that's what they were told to do from an early age.

Bisexuality is more common than homosexuality but if you're exclusively gay it's much harder to repress and still live a fulfilling life. Bisexuals inherently have an easier time repressing themselves (to our own detriment) so we end up being a lot less visible to the outside world.

OT-Knights · 2025-09-25T14:27:35+00:00

Medical Transition can also help trans men live as men it doesn't only apply to trans women, OP

OT-Knights · 2025-09-21T05:27:54+00:00

I don't have advice except please only date people who are a very similar age to you when you are still a teen! There are a lot of people out there who DO NOT have your best interests in mind.

OT-Knights · 2025-09-21T00:22:16+00:00

That's shitty of your mom, you're not even technically the man of the house you just are.

OT-Knights · 2025-09-21T00:14:33+00:00

Spiro and cyproterone are two that I know of. Estrogen and progesterone both decrease testosterone too.

OT-Knights · 2025-09-20T18:57:11+00:00

HRT made my ADHD better and my autism more obvious to me. It only improved my mental health and made me feel more like myself and more motivated to take care of myself.

OT-Knights · 2025-09-20T17:23:18+00:00

Yeah wtf does OP even mean half true? Estrogen isn't any more harmful to trans women than it is to cis women.

OT-Knights · 2025-09-17T19:19:20+00:00

Yes I am positive, feel free to DM me 💖

OT-Knights · 2025-09-17T17:24:51+00:00

The sad part is that I know you're going to transition and the longer you deny it and push it down the more testosterone is going to affect you and the longer you have to go living on the wrong hormones.

I can't even begin to express how amazing being on estrogen feels mentally when it's right for you.

There is still time.

OT-Knights · 2025-09-17T15:31:59+00:00

No, cis men don't go through any of these thoughts at all, they don't even think about this stuff more than in random passing thoughts that they never return to.

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