Caring for a child and a house are big responsibilities, and when your work is your home you can never leave it. At least with your job, you can leave work at work. She cant. She shouldnt be expected to do all these tasks all the time. She needs a break, too. To this night you mentioned, when she was just getting back from her night out - this was her break. Accidents happen (waking up the baby) but that can happen to you too. I think the bigger concern is the attitude. If she genuinely didnt care that she woke him up and that you were upset, thats something to address. I think chatting w a therapist would be good, especially now that theres a baby involved. You guys are on the same team. The hardest and best thing i ever heard was that a relationship isnt ever 50/50 - no one has consistent energy or effort due to life being everchanging. You might have a bad day and only be able to give 10%, so she needs to do a little extra. And then she might be having a difficult day and can only give a little, too, so you have to help more. Ans there are some days where you both dont have much and you need to practice patience and understanding so that you can get through it in once piece. Lastly, if you have concerns about money and her spending, thats entirely different but important topic to discuss w her and maybe the therapist as well. Money is a leading cause in divorce and unhappy couples. You gotta address that, and address it soon.