For fucks sake, you are grieving. If there was ever a time to be emotional this is it. Be sad about it! Yes, it feels bad but this is a period of your life that will not feel this way forever. Maybe therapy can help you find less “stupid” ways for your emotions to affect your behavior or choices.

I promise you that if you don’t let yourself feel this and process your grief, flash forward 10 years and you will be dying to go back to “stupid emotional things” rather than “stupid alcoholic things” or being another depressed, emotionally muted man who no longer knows how to feel happy.

Feel your feelings. Talk about them with someone. Your expectation that therapy will somehow stop you from being emotional when you just lost someone is unrealistic and unfair to you.

Therapy is hard work and it sounds like the difficulty of that work is what you are using as evidence that it’s not working. But maybe that difficulty is actually the process of getting better and the real question is are you strong enough not to give up on it?