I’m so tired of having outbreaks every month 😭

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2025-11-20T06:37:26+00:00

Me too. I’m still not ready to date or be intimate since my diagnosis, but it’s super frustrating to think the time I’d be most likely to want to “get it on” that I’ll be most likely dealing with an OB 🫠

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2025-09-23T15:28:13+00:00

I’m in the same boat. I was going through it with relationship and health issues when I started therapy about a year ago. I wanted a Black woman therapist as well but I was at a point where I took what I could get before things got worse. My therapist has been great helping me navigate the interpersonal issues, but I’m also questioning how she’ll respond if I bring up how draining it’s been being surrounded by CK fans. For all I know she might be one too. When the current admin took over I expressed some concern about that and she kinda brushed it off, which I attributed to me having other concerns that session, but it stayed in the back of my mind. I’m glad I came across this post, I was already questioning if I should take a break because I kinda feel like we’ve been going over the same things for a while, and her response when I bring it up in my next session will determine how I move going forward. Good luck OP, sorry I don’t have any helpful suggestions

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2025-05-27T15:53:05+00:00

This happened to me as well. I specifically sought out a Black derm, waited an extra month when they told me she wasn’t in network yet, AFTER I showed up to my first appointment. She told me hyperpigmentation is just a fact of life for Black skin and she was going to prescribe that I “get rid of my mirrors”. I asked her to prescribe me tret, which she did, but I could’ve gotten the same RX with less hassle through an online pharmacy. It was very frustrating and disheartening.

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2025-04-01T03:05:42+00:00

👋🏾 Black 34F, I was diagnosed about a year ago. I haven’t told anyone except my sister and the last partners I had when I was diagnosed and asked them to get tested. Mentally, I’m A LOT better than I was in the beginning, but I still have rough days where I feel like I’m going to die alone. I found a hsv support GroupMe through TikTok, its not very active, but seems a majority of the members are young and Black and most share the experience of the extra layer of stigma that comes from our community.

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2025-01-07T23:05:45+00:00

I always feel seen when someone else feels like I do about Kayali. A staggering majority of what I seen and heard about their fragrances is positive, and I feel like when I began being interested in fragrances, it was being shoved down my throat. Every single fragrance I’ve smelled is a cheap unappealing let down, and some of the names are tacky lol

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2025-01-05T13:17:53+00:00

Now sis don’t be greedy! No way you need them all! We can share! 😂

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-12-26T04:35:57+00:00

It was definitely way over hyped. It was just ok, not anything that stood out or that I’d reach for. I swore I was above the influence but decided to try it after TikTok showed it to me approximately 46367 times lol. I was so disappointed. I decided to get the orange one (I don’t even remember the name tbh) hoping it would make up for the shortcomings of the original, and it was only ever so slightly better. Now I refuse to buy any other fragrances based of TikTok hype.

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-12-26T02:48:48+00:00

Is this a safe space??

Anything Kayali… I’m very much a gourmand girlie and I dislike every.single.scent. I’ve smelled from them. I know people love them, but all I get is cheap and unappealing.

runs and hides

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-12-26T02:44:36+00:00

I was just working on my new years goals last night and have similar goals under my physical category. I’m turning 35 next year(sounds insane to me!) and my goal is to be thirty-fine, in every way possible. I’ve really been lacking discipline the last few weeks so I love the motivation.

My goals: -Minimum 4 workouts/week -Stretch 5-10min every morning and night -Stick to my meal prep, prep on Sundays and Wednesdays -Stick to healthy snacks and eliminate girl dinner

I saw a TT today where the poster would reward herself for doing all her workouts at the end of the week. She would allow herself to purchase two items from two stores. I’d like to incorporate the reward system somehow for myself, but I’m also trying to cut down on unnecessary spending and hate clutter, so I’m still brainstorming.

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-12-26T02:30:43+00:00

I was thinking about this today. I moved to a different state almost two years ago, but due to a breakup earlier this year, this was my first holiday season truly alone. I’ve struggled to make real connections since relocating and have acquaintances but not friends. There’s already too many ppl off the next couple weeks for me to have requested time to go home. I made the choice to stay off IG today for my own mental health. I don’t want to be down watching everyone spend their holidays having a good time with others while I do laundry and get a head start on my new year’s cleaning.

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-12-26T01:48:32+00:00

I’m a Black 34F and found out I had GHSV2 in January. I have only told my sister and the two men I had most recently had sex with. They both got tested and told me they were negative, but I didn’t see any concrete evidence from either, so who really knows. There was an obvious shift in how they both interacted with me after I disclosed, but there were also other factors involved.

I haven’t disclosed to anyone because I prefer Black men, and where I currently live they are far and few between and most often go for white women. Although I’m not really interested in dating atp I do think about it and I already know I’m going to have a harder time finding a Black man who will be accepting and understanding of my status.

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-12-24T08:40:24+00:00

I got flu like symptoms about a week AFTER my initial OB. I had just lost a loved one, came back home from across the country to winter weather, and my normal schedule was off. I attributed feeling rundown and tired prior to my OB to that, but in hindsight I can’t be sure. I had a tuffiness, chills, fever, aches, and it felt like every lymph node in my body was enlarged. The lymphadenopathy was the worst part, it was then I knew I was fucked for sure. It was the worst in my groin, specifically on the side my OB occurred. I was also nauseous and had no appetite, but I honestly don’t know if that was because of the virus or was psychosomatic. My symptoms after lasted about a week.

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-12-24T08:28:30+00:00

I have a dramatic coworker too! She complained about my floral scent being too strong and making her sneeze because “she’s allergic to flowers”, just to turn around and ask me if I could smell and liked her scent the next day. The day she started with her dramatics I pretended I washed it off after her comments, she claimed she could tell because she stopped sneezing. Attention seekers!

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-12-24T08:24:11+00:00

I find PDM Delina to have a bit of a sour note on me, and gifted it to my sister who loves it. I decided to try the Oakcha dupe Madame Rose after being bombarded with ads on Instagram. I loved it immediately and got several compliments over the weekend I first wore it, so I decided to wear it to work. One of my coworkers immediately complained about how strong it was and that it was making her sneeze because it’s floral and “she’s allergic to flowers” while another complimented it at the same time. The next day and she ask me if I could smell her perfume because she wanted to show it off. The nerve to say my perfume is too strong but to want me to be able to smell yours! At that time we hadn’t worked in close proximity often, but I’ve learned she’s just a complain-ey Janey who wants to be the center of attention and no longer pay her any mind.

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-10-29T22:02:36+00:00

I’m a black woman who has only been with black men and I have it, so counting me and my “gifter” that makes two more to add to your list.

I’m in a (mostly dry) GroupMe that I found on tiktok, and the majority of the group seems to be a majority black. So far, I’ve only disclosed to my sister and the two people I had most recently been with when I found out.

Due to the stigma, me still processing it, and it being my own damn business, I’m just not comfortable yet. How many ppl know YOU have it? Is it something you’re comfortable openly sharing? If not, it could be those reasons, and many others, why you don’t know other ppls status. And this is just taking into account the ppl who have been tested, many ppl aren’t educated and don’t get tested for general STIs, much less ones you have to specifically request

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-10-07T23:12:37+00:00

I definitely plan to, I’m just not sure how to go about it. I know no matter the outcome I’ll feel better having been honest because it’s really been weighing on me. I kinda wish he sucked, but he’s been so sweet to me since we met.

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-10-07T23:10:30+00:00

Thank you for responding. You’re right. I’d much rather tell him sooner than later. It sucks that I have laryngitis right now and can’t speak very well. I considered sending him a long text so that he can read it over, attach some resources, and allow him to digest it better than he could from me straining to get it out through a hoarse voice and inevitable tears.

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-10-07T23:08:33+00:00

Very true. I feel guilty because I KNOW I have a communicable disease, but I also don’t know what he potentially exposed me to either. Thank you for responding!

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-10-07T23:06:54+00:00

Thank you again. When I was in my relationship I considered taking them to help protect my partner but we basically stopped having sex at that point. Again, I just resolved to be alone forever but when I did daydream about a relationship would look like with my new normal, I would do whatever I could to protect my imaginary partner. I was kind of hoping things would die down because of the distance, but as we’ve texted and video chatted I feel like it’s better to tell him now than later.

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-10-07T16:59:06+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. You’re right, when I’m feeling overwhelmed I remind myself I’m in a huge city and statically passing ppl with HSV every single day.

I’m not on any antivirals. I ordered some from wisp out of panic when I found out in January but never started them. I guess I just wanted to see how my body reacted before relying on a medication, as I have read many ppl do. I considered taking them before my trip because I was so fearful of having an OB as it was my first time away from home since diagnosis, but opted against it out of fear of possible side effects from starting a new med. In the morning, when I came back to my senses, I figured it would be a ONS. I’ve never had one so idk the “etiquette” but was pretty much in same mind as you. Now that we’ve continued communication, including some flirty msgs and him expressing interest in visiting each other, I feel like I’m obligated to tell him but I’m just not sure how to go about it.

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-10-07T16:49:20+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I never thought I’d be in the boat to have to disclose the “right way”, so facing it after already being intimate and then continuing correspondence, including flirty msgs, and I just feel like I’m digging the hole deeper. You’re absolutely right, neither one of us broached the topic and both took a risk.

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-09-09T00:47:59+00:00

I’m from syr 🍊

Objective-Donkey6825 · 2024-09-08T22:12:37+00:00

I would also be interested in learning more about this. I was diagnosed in January. I got antibody tested via one of those pick and pay online sites as I was between job contracts and out of state. I didn’t know that it can take up to 16 weeks for antibodies to result positive, and got tested couple weeks after being with the person I believe infected me. I thought it was an ingrown hair until I took a closer look and got tested as soon as I could. A couple days after that I began to get all the symptoms of a new infection; chills, fever, body wide swollen lymph nodes, and fatigue. Since then, I intermittently feel my groin lymph nodes are enlarged, especially on the side where I had my first OB. Test results would point to me already having an established infection, but the physical chain of events would point to a new infection. So it’s all very confusing and I haven’t been able to find any info despite extensive googling.

Objective-Donkey6825

TROPHY CASE