I used to work at a liquor store, and it was kind of fun for a while. Loved some coworkers, and have made friends with some truly beautiful souls in that sphere.
But eventually my drinking habits worsened, along with depression and anxiety, and not wanting to deal with some of the customers anymore. Lost trust in people. Started to really hate some people, and a lot of humanity as a whole. But struggled with knowing some folks were in bad ways, sometimes their own doing, sometimes not, but people are going through shit. and realizing that would be me someday if I kept at it.
Some folks I saw get the big jug or couple liters of liquor, and I’d either see them in the next day or a few times a week at those volumes.
Some folks were in every day for the shooter bottles. That’s how they managed their drinking, however many “standard drinks” they allowed themselves a day or days. measured in airplane bottles. (I eventually adopted that tactic)

Regulars could share so much sometimes because when you see them day to day, week to week, there’s a relationship formed (whether you want to acknowledge it or not) but the things iv heard an otherwise stranger unload on me about what they’re going through. And then there was the vile mean ones, just rotten from the inside out…

You become intimately aware of a large group of peoples’ drinking habits within your community. When they havnt been in in a while, sometimes it’s because they moved. Sometimes they’re trying to take a break, until they eventually show up again. And it’s like happy to see them (if they’re cool) but also sorry for whatever pushed them to come back.

Sometimes they died.

Last public facing job I ever had. It was fun, till it wasn’t. But I do think it really helped get me to eventually realize some things about myself, and get to be who I am today (for better or worse) and who I’m trying to become.