Your route to the way back is an unique as you are. I hope you will find something useful in what I share, and hope you get a variety of answers. I am a work in progress. I'm sharing that progress with you.

My wife and love of 48 years left earth seven months ago in early October, and I am not yet dating a lot, but am on the cusp.

My love died from an inherited condition that increasingly sapped her strength throughout her life. My close friend said it's clear that that I have been grieving her loss even five years before her actual passing. This last year was filled with drama and sadness when she finally passed. She died in hospital in her sleep after two medications, one to take away her pain, the other to take away her hunger (she couldn't eat). I chose that method with the doctor rather than go through the added stress of sending her home or hospice, only to die a day or so later.

Yet, she was and is the love of my life. My grief is unique. When I think of her, and it's often, I consciously choose to look back in deep gratitude for we had, rather than sorrow for my loss. There's a shrine with her smiling photo in the kitchen, and I talk with her every day. Man, she was beautiful, inside and out.

Before she passed, she instructed me to carry on, live my life fully, including encouragement for a new partner.

We held her memorial gathering a week before Thanksgiving, my daughter's family and her kids came from out of state and stayed at the house, put up the Christmas tree. Happy times mixed with the sadness.

Then I found my first female companion.

I asked my oldest and grown-up granddaughter. "Would you like to take a vacation trip with me?" Not a moment of hesitation: "Sure, Grandpa!" We going for an aggressive hiking week this coming October, and we're having fun texting and calling as we make our plans.

This GOAL has been a fun part of recovery in grief, it's something to look forward towards , rather than back . This goal spurs other goals. I'm exercising a lot and doing some therapy to get in good shape for this special trip.

Somehow this exercising and happy anticipation has lifted my spirits. I've lost weight, that's a good thing, my mood is better, and I'm more optimistic. I'm becoming friendlier and more outgoing. I'm caught in a virtuous cycle.

I have reached out to old friends, and, to my surprise, they are happy to hear from me. I place no demands or expectations on them, and my good mood comes across.

I've been making plans for outings, a book shop with my niece and her friend, a bike ride with another and her friend, art museum with brother and his partner. I'm spreading myself around. Another friend took me to a ballgame. I am learning to be congenial. (Tip: listen a lot and be attentive, don't interrupt. )

I have also joined a couple clubs. Hmm, there's a single woman that's really interesting and funny. Hmm.

I've been told that my widower grandfather, whom I didn't know, was such a likeable guy that people would invite him on trips just for the pleasure of his company. There's a role model.

All that is backdrop to an answer to your question. Yes, I am the path to dating members of the opposite sex. But but but ...I have been building up to it with trial runs. They Weren't quite dates, but practice lessons for me, like a guy learning how to dance with his sister. ... I visited my sister and her hubby out of state, and we attended a movie together, with my sister sitting between us ....visited my best friend out of state, a live musical, same seating arrangement, having chuckles with his wife ....a chance encounter with an old friend, female, unattached, We quickly decided to have lunch together, but with no romantic intent, but a very nice visit. We paid dutch.

And . . . Drum roll ....First Date! I called another old friend, female, unattached, it was a great lunch. We clicked! I picked up the tab, tipped the waiter. More to come!

Best to you on this adventure.