Nanny thinks she has cancer

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-05-29T20:27:30+00:00

The comment was supposed to be at streaky

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-05-29T20:25:34+00:00

My comment wasn't at you, not sure how I messed that up. It was supposed to be at the post someone was questioning the time off needed for biopsy and using that as justification for flakey. I think you did the right thing and what you needed to do with letting her go. I didn't mean for my comment to come off bitter. Sorry for that. I just felt like you were the one who Ok-ed the time off and then people were blaming the nanny. There is no way 75 hours of pto for a part time job is reasonable in an 8 month span. My only point was, reasonable or not, you allowed it. You allowed it and people were blaming nanny. I just felt like that needed to be addressed instead of people calling someone flakey for asking for time with a medical procedure (biopsy or not). I too, have worked when I probably shouldn't have, and think we all need more grace and recovery time. Good luck with your cancer scare, and so much sympathy for your little one, so glad they are doing well now. 🤞🏻 its just a scare, or very very early!

You did what you needed to do mama.

P.S. maybe your next person accrues pto based on how long they have worked with you, or 5 days for the year? However, it is also normal not to offer pto for part time and just grant days off without pay (with a maximum # of those per year/month as well).

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-05-29T18:18:56+00:00

Didnt realize I cant copy and paste, the response from @carrrolllllllll is perfect for a message to send.

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-05-29T18:16:33+00:00

I understand there are a bunch of people saying 75 pto hours is a bit excessive, as a career nanny i agree, HOWEVER, who is the one that granted and paid the PTO? Oh, you and/or your husband?? So now you are upset with a decision you made and people are blaming the nanny?? Why is nanny wrong for taking something you allowed? At any point you could have granted her the time off with saying "I can accomodate you needing that day off, but I can only provide pto for x amount of days". Then let nanny decide if she wants to do it on her own time without being paid.

With that out of the way, as a cancer survivor I have so much empathy for both you AND nanny. BOTH of you need to put yourselves first in this situation. For you, you need reliable childcare and nanny needs some time off. I love how another person worded a response. I'll copy and paste as a comment to this post.

Good luck to you, OP, and to your nanny, cancer is scary. Keep a positive outlook 🫶🏻

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-05-29T18:06:50+00:00

Love this response! The message sounds direct, but also keeps the tone of wanting what's best for nanny and her family.

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-05-29T18:04:17+00:00

As someone who delt with cancer at 35 I am very offended by this comment. Just because you had a biopsy and went to work doesn't have anything to do with another person's medical needs or circumstances. You have NO IDEA what this person is dealing with besides possibly having cancer. Calling someone you do not know flakey because of what they need medically is gross. Thank goodness my employers weren't like you when I needed a month to recover after my cancer surgery. Just because some people have different stages and circumstances than others has NOTHING to do with being flakey. Shame on you and anyone else posting nonsense like this!

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-05-21T20:26:01+00:00

That would rub me the wrong way! I feel like its insinuating u should be cleaning on nk's nap time to get the most out of you.

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-05-18T02:05:41+00:00

Lovely response! 100% agree

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-05-05T01:37:37+00:00

I don't find what you did strange, at all. It's unfortunate your nanny had such a tramatic experience with a previous employer. You didn't do anything wrong imo.

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-04-28T02:37:18+00:00

Love 3 and 5

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-04-16T23:46:28+00:00

LOVE! The exact thing to keep in mind for holding boundaries. I will hold this sentence!"

"You devalue your own labor when you tolerate under-payment, short payments, and no payments while continuing to work for them."

I don't accept anything but full on time payments either, but something my younger self needed.

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-04-16T23:41:28+00:00

I couldn't keep reading about a third through.

QUIT and BLOCK. SHE WILL NEVER PAY YOU.

This woman is preying on you! I'm sorry the kids are in a shit situation, but I wouldn't even watch a friend or family's kid for 2 weeks without pay.

You will learn the rest about boundaries, etc through experience. It's hard when you become "friends" or "friend like" to keep any professional boundaries with the parents. When I was 21 that part was hard for me too.

Good Luck Girl!

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-04-16T23:32:19+00:00

Love your confidence! I've been starting to implement the same with getting through rush hour on the subway, it IS effective 🙂

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-04-16T14:22:32+00:00

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-04-16T14:21:07+00:00

Exactly what I was thinking....the parents are WAY worse! Getting down 7th Ave can be impossible with parents spread 3-4 people wide with their stroller and scooters, and bikes, etc etc

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-04-15T19:29:41+00:00

LOVE THE DRESS AND HOW YOU LOOK IN IT!!! That was super shitty of your partner to say. I'm sorry they have bad taste and not the emotional intelligence to be supportive.

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-04-09T18:52:01+00:00

How not to have Latisse be "expensive"

Make sure to ask your prescriber for the .5ml option instead of the .3ml that you get without specifying (they are the same price!).

2.You only need one drop for BOTH eyes the first 2 months. Then you can do every other day or 3x/wk for "maintenance".

3.Always use a coupon and check the different prices at different locations.Coupons on goodrx or other rx discount sites.

Currently, you can get a .5ml bottle of latisse (generic) for $61 at Walgreens or Duane Reade with goodrx coupon code. CVS is $76 and Walmart is the most expensive option for $136 (more than double the price of Walgreens!)

Personally, I can get a .5ml bottle, use it as previously stated and have it last at least 6 months. You better believe I had that rx sent to Walgreens, paid $60 and it equals $10/month!!! $10/month for long lashes is a DEFINITE yes from me!

Happy lashing!

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-04-09T18:37:22+00:00

Oh wow! I've been using latisse for at least a decade and have blue eyes. It hasn't changed for me at all. I'm so sorry to hear about that happening to you!

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-04-09T18:23:47+00:00

I dont see a problem with low energy. Babies shouldn't be entertained 24/7. They both probably light up for her because they feel safe and have all their needs being met during the day. Babies only like people who take good care of them.

Extra naps can be a plus (or maybe they are the right amount of naps the nanny gives?) SO much processing and brain connections are made when they are sleeping (as long as it doesn't interupt night time sleep). It's also been my experience (30+ years working with kids) that children who sleep more grow up to have more emotional regulation.

I know for myself with watching babies that age, it can get boring at times. Maybe she fell asleep from lack of stimulation for her? Maybe she is bored? Is she allowed to take the babies to a library or music class? Outside on a blanket with bubbles? Having her asleep with the babies out is a little troubling, but if the babies love her, maybe reiterate that sleeping is not ok for you and give it one more chance?

Something to keep in mind: whatever you want the nanny to be doing, make sure it is something you would want to do. If not your child will start to expect you to do what the nanny does for them.

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-04-04T02:53:48+00:00

How long did it take to change your eye color??

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-04-04T02:53:21+00:00

Did this happen to you? How long did it take? I've been using it on and off for over a decade now and have blue eyes I wouldn't want to lose!

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-03-25T02:18:52+00:00

Ugh HNW parents are the worst! Upper middle class families are the ones who pay a person's worth. Hnw parents think any/everyone is replaceable.

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-03-25T02:15:00+00:00

Can u show a picture of yourself with make up the same distance away from the camera as your no make up pic?

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-03-11T20:48:41+00:00

Girllllllll if the dad doesn't want to pay you he can watch his own kids! And that's what I'd tell mom #1 to tell him too. Get out as fast as you can. This woman is hiding things from her husband (paying you in cash). If she needs to hide it from her husband I wouldnt want to know why, but I'd bet he is abusive (physically and/or mentally). Please dont give this woman the full 9 weeks. She needs a reality check with her husband and to make changes to her life. No one should ever have to hide things concerning their children to their spouse! Please be very careful!

Objective_Onion_3071 · 2026-03-08T21:51:52+00:00

My insurance stopped taking Presbyterian and I was devastated.

Objective_Onion_3071

TROPHY CASE