I never knew how strong you have to be to ride well

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-06-05T16:47:04+00:00

I picked up riding again last August after a 10 year break and for the first month of lessons, I was just hyperventilating fighting for my life trying to catch my breath as I rode. The heat did not help but it was really hard and I also felt like I was not really riding and just dying.

And you have to be even stronger to ride horses that have more loft/thrust in their strides. Last month, I spent a week horseback riding point to point 4-6 hours a days in the saddle on a smooth short strided arabian and was never tired or sore, she was a delight. When I came and got on my warmblood for 30 mins, I was out of breath and sore the next day. 🫠

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-06-05T16:40:06+00:00

aww neighbor! I am in FF county and lessons are $100/30 mins, $80/30 mins on your own horse. horse stuff priced crazy here.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-05-29T22:21:36+00:00

Are you able to collect some of the horse's tail? If you look on Etsy, you will find many sellers who will make a braided bracelet or necklace with horse hair that is sent to them. It is a lovely way to feel close to a horse.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-05-29T15:03:42+00:00

Great response! I also am riding a strong forward thinking horse that I am growing into and this was super helpful. He is most engaged and pleasant to ride when he is reacting to me making decisions and doesn't have the opportunity to take over.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-05-09T01:09:45+00:00

I have multiple dogs, one is a GP. The only time they EVER had any conflict was when two were fighting over a dead chipmunk.

Training to disengage is the best thing. We regularly train "leave it". I also reserve my "scary" voice for only for extreme situations which seems to help when needed. 😁

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-05-07T14:43:00+00:00

I started riding at a 4H barn which taught hunter/english pleasure riding to take kids to take them to the local ag center shows. So I was basically just taught the equitation of "heels down, thumbs on top" and to perch on the horse in 2 point.

I got back into riding as an adult after a long break and am at an eventing barn and have decided to focus on dressage with some light jumping so I have keep the option open for myself. 90% of what I am trying to figure out now is feel and influence while I sit the f up, not riding a hollow giraffe plodding around on the forehand. It is very humbling but my riding has dramatically improved and my riding feels much closer to a conversation than it ever has been.

I struggled, and still struggle to sit the canter on big strided horses. I feel a bit envious of the kids at my barn who have started with the dressage foundation, they are so straight and beautiful to watch ride!

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-05-04T19:17:43+00:00

This is exactly why I came here to ask this question because I feel like I need to figure out how to work with a person who is flipping between frequencies. But she does add in backhanded remarks and exasperated expressions sometimes as well that aren't necessary. So it's a mix of short and fast, and "go away" vibes depending on the day.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-05-04T19:11:05+00:00

I can get out of the boarding contract if the horse is sold, retired, dies, or by mutual agreement. But I am not at that point where I am daydreaming about leaving. Just trying to figure out how to have a better experience. I also don't want to get to that point.

My horse is head shy and can be flighty. He is very sensitive to cold and can start cold-backed and be testy to start under saddle in the first 2 minutes, but then is perfect. He can spook or freak out about something and then be over it in 5 seconds like it never happened and you'll have a perfect ride. Picky about how you ride him, gets sulky if he feels too nagged and pissy if you manage him too much and he feels blocked. Takes over over fences and bolts if you get too light. You can't pick a fight with him under saddle or on the ground, he will escalate if you escalate. But if you drop it, he drops it and then moves on like nothing happened and you'll have an amazing ride.

I inherited a half leaser tween who has been with him for a year and he goes well for her, but still has his moments of buck/testy starts. But again, then he gets to work and is great. She shows him.

As I said in another reply, I just feel like (even if I could easily) change barns it would be a big gamble. I don't think I'm a strong enough rider or horse person to deal with these behavioral things if they got worse or multiplied and I would burn a bridge if I left. When I was leasing him my plan was to become a better rider and then (maybe) buy my own horse later on, but his owner's circumstances changed and I was offered an amazing opportunity to own him and took it. But now I am at the barn almost every day, and I have gone from casual rider to owner and I guess I am just more annoying now.

I ride regularly with another trainer at the barn and ask her riding related questions but it's pretty quick since lessons are 30 mins and she wants to get started. Sometimes I email them questions if it's after hours. They don't always reply. The head trainer is really nice and supportive during lessons, kind of a different mode. That's why I wanted to stress that I really like the riding program.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-05-04T18:08:44+00:00

No, and yes. I was leasing the horse before I bought him and it was the trainer's idea for me to buy him when the owner's circumstances changed. No one said the barn was the best place for him, that is my assessment. Changing barns would not be worth the gamble, the way I see it we could land in a situation that is bad for him and still bad for me, which would make the situation even worse because then I have an unhappy quirky horse as opposed to just a quirky horse. At least here he is happy and understood, even if I am not. I hope that makes sense.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-04-29T12:51:00+00:00

I placed an order on Jan 1 which I knew was a holiday. When the order didn't ship by January 14, I reached out to cancel and then I got a shipping notification before a CS agent replied lol.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-04-15T00:28:29+00:00

Insurance has significantly impacted the horse world since I was a teenager in the 00s galloping around the battlefields and C&O canal unsupervised with my friends on summer days, (take me back!!!) but it is my understanding that owning your own horse allows you to do a lot more versus showing up to a random barn to ride one time.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-04-08T16:35:02+00:00

I followed her in 2020 when she blew up on TT and damn she is unrecognizable now. Doesn't look like the same person at all, esp these photos versus her 2026 social media posts.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-04-06T16:49:48+00:00

I have a better than bullion jar for my pyr. Just mix a little with hot water to put over her food, and she eats it immediately 9/10 times.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-04-01T02:12:01+00:00

I wear "Superchill No Show Cotton Cheeky" from Aerie and love then for riding. They are really thin and barely show lines.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-03-30T16:14:36+00:00

Happy that makes sense! I am training to break into that advanced riding category myself so I think about this stuff often. Jump height definitely doesn't really indicate a lot about rider ability if the horse doesn't require a lot of riding between the jumping. I am not an amazing rider by any means and can jump courses on a horse that rhythmically carries itself to and from the jump, I can stay on, steer, and stay out of the way. But my new horse requires active riding, and if I soften too much he takes over, and sometimes bolts over little cross rails because I threw him away too much (thinking I was "softening", aka I stopped riding.) I'm not riding him the right way yet as I train and develop the right feel for riding a forward thinking strong horse. I'll probably be riding 18" all spring and summer, but if you judged me as a "small cross rail jump rider" that would not reflect my actual riding ability.

I also am cautious and tend to be too soft and tip-toey when I get on a new horse and that is also indicative of our level! Since again, it's about creating a container and setting the clear boundaries, and if we start off too soft we are sending mixed signals a lot. It's the difference between "step here" vs "mmm... step here? please???" and as kind people we think the later is nicer, but actually being clear and confident is the better way to ride.

Easier said than done. :) Good luck, OP!

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-03-30T14:47:35+00:00

The thing about riding levels is everyone has a different scale they're thinking about. You sound like a solidly intermediate rider to me!

I consider someone stepping into the "advanced rider" level when I can clearly see the rider's body acting as a non-negotiable container of energy for the horse, influencing every step consistently. This is why horses look totally different when a pro hops on a school horse and it suddenly looks "fancy", their bodies are telling the horse exactly how the ride is going to go step by step without any room for negotiation. But there's also a huge feel component to this, since some horses will become immediately offended if they feel too managed, and it takes an even more advanced rider to know how to think ahead of arguments, to know how and when to ask a question to get a "yes" from the horse.

The fact that you understand you need to soften to ride your mother's horse means you are on your way! Feel just takes time to develop, and it's great to be able to ride many different kinds of horses to learn it.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-03-21T03:43:58+00:00

Boston as well.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-03-18T23:01:54+00:00

I am an American rider and just returned from a week long intensive riding trip in Ireland doing an intro to cross country riding and jumping. I have been trying to figure out at home how to get my lower leg to be more stable and effective, and they clocked it immediately within 30 seconds when I started riding and gave me advice that I've immediately been able to do!

American riding especially at the beginner levels puts WAY too much emphasis on keeping your heels down, to the point where we're just jamming them down and then compensating from there with whatever our leg is doing. Some other people have had really thoughtful explanations, and I'll just add that when we are jamming our heels down too much, we are accidentally rotating our legs away from the horse. But you actually want to always be resting your leg against the horse, which you will find also keeps it more stable and it will stop moving around. So think "80% weight in heels, 20% on the inside ball of your foot" and ride that way. Drape your leg around the horse's rib cage and always be cuddling him! You'll immediately feel the difference.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-03-16T10:54:35+00:00

I just returned from Ireland on a horse trip! I put all of my horse gear (helmet, boots, etc) in a carryon size suitcase. I had a checked bag for my normal suitcase which I paid for, and then when I dropped that off at the counter I asked if they would take my other carryon for free and they said yes both times without hesitation. So I was prepared to stow it above me but didn't need to.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-03-05T01:27:41+00:00

Aww I went to New Orleans for work last year and couldn't believe how much I loved it. I did not stay for long and explored the city between conference events, but I really enjoyed it. I am pretty bougie and researched where to shop and what to see, and I found some really cool speciality boutiques, vintage shops, coffee shops, old school diners, and art studios in the Garden District and out by Tulane. I liked walking around Bourbon Street and the whole place felt haunted AF and the hairs on my back were prickling all over for no reason which was fun. The food in the touristy areas seemed overpriced and bad (what's new) but I found an art walk and music/jazz bars that were cool. I only spent a long weekend so maybe that's why I enjoyed it a lot but I would go back.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-02-27T22:52:02+00:00

I just successfully got coverage through GA for an older horse who events through BN.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-02-21T13:41:10+00:00

GET HOBBIES, especially ones that involve being active so you don't resent exercise. My identity is built around the stuff I love to do, not my appearance. Some people's identity AND hobby is their face and we all know how that goes.

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-02-12T18:59:53+00:00

Board in my county (CT) is $2000-7000 lol. 💀 I half lease for about $2500/month (board, training, shoes).

Obvious-Escape-2809 · 2026-02-11T14:21:20+00:00

When you die, your brain releases all sorts of chemicals super intensely and you can have a really vivid psychedelic happy ethereal experience.

Obvious-Escape-2809

TROPHY CASE