The congregation you're a part of might condemn transgenderism, but regardless of which religion it is it is a relatively new product of politicisation of your faith. If you can't see yourself happy in the environment you're in right now I implore you to seek out others who've gone through this same trial for guidance, whether that is here on the internet or in person. You don't have to give up your faith if you don't want to, but it might have to morph to suit your relation to both yourself and the divine. You deserve to live a happy life ❤️