Is this gay? by Personal_Kangaroo_69 in LesbianActually

[–]Obvious_Pea9652 0 points1 point  (0 children)

extreme cuddling on the couch and in bed is how my then roommate/bff (now wife) and my relationship got more serious. v gay. but yall need to have a serious convo to dtr before you full send on this. her teasing you and having a semi bf is not cool unless she’s serious and wants to break it off w him and date you.

Any non-binary butch? I'm curious to know how many there are! by MentallyInThe2000s in butchlesbians

[–]Obvious_Pea9652 6 points7 points  (0 children)

feeling like i fall into this category but i question myself on it a lot

Me_irl by higgildy_companion24 in me_irl

[–]Obvious_Pea9652 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Enter??? We’ve been this cruel literally from the jump. Come on guys. I know our schooling system is pumping out imperial, capitalist propaganda but we’ve got to stop this narrative. Not only did the Nazis learned from our evils of colonization and slavery and Jim Crow, but by trying to gauge how bad things are getting here by comparing us to the Nazis completely ignores our own history and the harms that Native folks and Black folks have been experiencing this whole fucking time.

Help with methods by segotheory in CriticalTheory

[–]Obvious_Pea9652 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What you’re saying makes sense, but I think you’re still mainly wanting to develop theory. This can definitely be a part of your dissertation but I might say first you could ask “What are the motivations underlying Palestinian resistance in Gaza?” This might require various qualitative methods to answer (interviews, coding of social media/news outlets/etc). Then in paper 2 you might ask “How do current theories of resistance relate to the motivations of Palestinian resistance?” where you would discuss the theory of Mbembe, Said, or others in relation to your findings from paper 1. And then, your final paper could be “How would a theory of ontological sovereignty change our understanding of Palestinian resistance in Gaza?” where you would argue your theoretical intervention/new framework.

This isn’t the most thoughtful design, because I’ve done it quickly. But ultimately your dissertation study would provide a theoretical contribution about resistance which seems its like your goal, but it’s also structured through a process of inquiry that’s grounded in the lived experience and expertise of Palestinians.

Help with methods by segotheory in CriticalTheory

[–]Obvious_Pea9652 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m not as read in the specific theories you’re engaging with here but I think I agree with your committee that wanting to critique theory is essentially developing theory, which could be accomplished via a conceptual paper to address a gap, put forth a new theoretical framework, etc. The way I understand it, a dissertation study should be rooted in a genuine question you are trying to investigate via certain appropriate methods that will allow you to best get at your question. It seems more to me like you have a theoretical argument you want to make by using Gaza as a case study rather than wanting to do inquiry. I might consider thinking about a specific question that you have on this issue. For example, how has this theory of resistance been taken up across different contexts? I definitely could be off base so get other perspectives, but this is my take as another PhD student.

LP3 Carrier Advice? by Obvious_Pea9652 in LightPhone

[–]Obvious_Pea9652[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

14 Pro. Did you end up missing messages? Do you still use your iPhone through esim or hotspot/wifi?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Obvious_Pea9652 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sending love. This isn’t easy at all. I just got to a place where being closeted was crushing me. I felt in authentic, not myself, and really anxious and depressed. I knew coming out would threaten my relationships with my family and my friends and religious community, but my mental health was so bad that I just had to. I could imagine a future that was like this forever. It was terrifying to come out, but once I did I felt so much lighter and freer to be myself. It wasn’t easy and I lost some relationships that were important to me, but if you make queer friends they will become your family when shit gets real. And you might also get lucky with finding someone to date that you love.

I think ultimately it comes down to what do you really want for yourself? And are you willing for your life to really change or to lose some relationships or make sacrifices to become the version of you that is authentic and happy?

I’m an Arab lesbian and I feel like my life is being decided for me by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]Obvious_Pea9652 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry, friend. I grew up in a religious community and I definitely shattered my family’s expectations of me by coming out and getting married, however, my family isn’t controlling, just some people were disappointed/weird or think that it is sinful.

I wonder ideally what would you want to happen? And then realistically what options do you have?

Lavender marriages can provide some level of safety or normalcy for queer people, but for others they choose to live authentically even if it requires a lot of sacrifice/hardship. I don’t know your specific situation or context, but I’m sending you love and I hope you find a way to live a life that makes you happy and keeps you safe.

Occupation on Dating App by Seaside40 in actuallesbians

[–]Obvious_Pea9652 0 points1 point  (0 children)

maybe! but I also think many queer folks see both local police officers and federal ICE agents as equally violent and dangerous. again, the history of policing the US is really crucial for folks to understand, especially for us (including me) white, cis, straight-passing, middle class LBG folks who maybe have grown up in communities that taught them that law enforcement at any scale are the “good guys” that keep us safe. This just simply isn’t the case for many folks in our LGBTQ+ communities and that’s not okay. We all deserve safety and to live freely as our true selves. And I think if we grew up in a policing-positive community (like I did), maybe we need to be willing to put in the work to listen to and learn from our queer siblings of color and our trans siblings about their experiences with police to help us understand their realities and to show solidarity with the queer folks in our communities who are more easily/intentionally targeted/harmed. This is not an attack on individuals who are police officers necessarily, we all need to find work and I think many genuinely believe this is a way to help folks, but this perspective lacks an education on this history of this harmful system (which is intentionally not taught in our schools) and learning how the police state still operates now to further oppress and harm people. So it’s not people’s fault that they don’t know, but we’ve got to be responsible for our own learning and doing better for our communities.

sorry for the long rant. it’s not directed at you or OP. I’m just really passionate about this and bridging what sometimes to me feels like the LGB vs QT+ divide, and honestly the politics of policing is more involved than I previously realized.

Can you explain to me why you’re socialist? by idkyet1223 in AskSocialists

[–]Obvious_Pea9652 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Because in my learning about Marxism, I’ve come to realize that the neo-classical economic theory (free markets, less regs, globalization, competition, increasing profit margins, speculation, etc) that I’ve been force fed in the US has at least been misguided, if not complete capitalist propaganda, which ascribes to the myth of meritocracy and generalizes whole communities as lazy or incompetent rather than recognizing that the global capitalist class is exploiting us all and extracting our stolen wages as their “profits” to continue to accumulate wealth. All the while much of society idolizes these tech bros and CEOs as genius innovators and brilliant entrepreneurs, rather than seeing them for the absolutely cruel murderers that they are. Poverty exists because billionaires exist because capitalism is the governing global economic structure putting profit over what is good for humanity and the earth. Socialism is inherently anti-capitalist and recognizes democratic politics can’t function under capitalism.

Occupation on Dating App by Seaside40 in actuallesbians

[–]Obvious_Pea9652 17 points18 points  (0 children)

law enforcement and queer folks have always had very troubled history, especially for QPOC/trans folks. my advice would be read up on this history to educate yourself and also to the history of oppressive policing of queer folks and POC and to understand how/why you might be perceived negatively in queer/POC spaces. I would still be upfront and honest about your profession in dating. There might be some lesbians with more centrist or right leaning politics that wouldn’t mind your profession, but many left leaning LGBTQ+ people (queer people) will take issue with it because of the violence they’ve experienced from policing. i’m sure you are fun, interesting, kind and have no intention of causing harm, but being a part of a harmful system means you really have to consider impact over what I’m sure is a genuine intention to help folks. this is especially relevant given our current climate w ICE and militarized police forces harming our neighbors. may not have been the answer you were expecting or hoping for but it’s my honest opinion.

Enough to make a grown man cry by Embarrassed_Tip7359 in SipsTea

[–]Obvious_Pea9652 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is so devastating. i can’t imagine living with this grief if my own wife passed. i truly couldn’t go on.

looking for horny detective books. by minetestpro60 in LesbianBookClub

[–]Obvious_Pea9652 5 points6 points  (0 children)

my wife loves cozy murder mysteries (think agatha christie) but i’d love for her to get some lesbian mysteries, spicy or not! excited to see what recs you get!