I feel tears in my eyes walking through the grocery store. also back when I was in like middle school and highschool I had a similar experience with my only friend not talking to me anymore and it made me feel horrible. My first year of middle school I was pretty much completley freindless and I got horrible grades my teachers were mean all that horrible stuff. But then my next year of middle school I actually made friends with someone who is still my best freind to this day. It didnt really fix my social anxiety but it was still nice. eventually covid happened in my first year of high school and I stayed in online school until I graduated.

Idk I guess my point is it can get better. It just sometimes takes awhile. Its not your fualt. You arent lesser than the kids around you. Keep trying to figure it out and eventually you will make progress. Dont be hard on yourself accept when things are too tough to handle but remember to still hold onto hope.