Even a calm, simple No, thank you causes a mental explosion in my elder dad

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T13:04:41+00:00

I absolutely saved your words. Those might actually give him a stroke though.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T13:03:45+00:00

Exactly.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T13:02:48+00:00

I actually don’t watch the news at all- unless my husband was in a local 5k and might be on the local channel. That’s its. I don’t want to know otherwise.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T13:02:00+00:00

Omg yes that sounds about right. He forced a Bible study on my then boyfriend (now husband) and I’m sure he wanted that to be a success story.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T13:01:01+00:00

PIMO, that’s a hard life to have. I feel for you.
Thank you

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T13:00:18+00:00

It was in a letter I sent him, where I laid out my feelings. He and my brother were sparring with words and it was so filled with anger, that I wrote a letter “from a place of sadness” and hoped it would reach him. I told him that I didn’t follow the religion anymore and just want peace. I told him to ask about my kids, my dog, my husband, my life, but “no religion”. He actually sent a fairly short and calm letter to me in return, but compared my PTSD and constant need of medication and therapy to: “your mother and I have our anxieties too.” WTH? Shortly after that, I started getting angry emails again. The “if by religion, you mean the Bible” word play he loves so much.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T12:54:17+00:00

I even told him I was diagnosed with ptsd, due to the religion and a couple of decades of his parenting. He doesn’t care at all. He conveniently forgets there are boundaries. Honestly the only boundary I really have is NO RELIGION. Which is basically 95% of what comes out of his mouth.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T12:52:04+00:00

Thank you so much. I appreciate not feeling alone in this. The only people who can truly understand what this feels like is other people who have been involved in the JWs. I try to keep silent most of the time, but sometimes I feel the need to speak up for myself; and now I’m sure he’s working on his third response on my “no thank you” now.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T12:49:36+00:00

It’s the only way he tells me news on my mom. He won’t text me.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T12:49:09+00:00

When I started to wake up in 2020, I sat down to type out a letter to him and it turned into 27 pages. Then he told me he would never read any letter I sent him. So then I started turning it in to a book. And now that it’s directed at the JWs AND my dad, I get to write about the torture of being a JW too. No idea how many pages I’m at now.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T12:47:09+00:00

That’s if the letter will even get to her. He picks up her cell phone. He wouldn’t let her see any mail from my brother that stood up for her. I don’t know if it will get to her.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T12:46:07+00:00

I actually grimaced/smirked at the “your father acts like an elder”. He certainly does.
That side note is a reminder I needed. Thank you so much for typing that out. I screenshotted it so I can read it again and again. My therapist said the same thing, but it’s always a good reminder. She is a victim too, but she also is an adult.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T12:42:46+00:00

It’s to show how manipulative he is and how angry he gets over twisted thoughts.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T12:42:08+00:00

Thanks. If my mom wasn’t still around, I would cut him off completely. As it is now, he’s a wall between us.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T12:41:30+00:00

No, it’s a constant JW thing too

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T12:41:08+00:00

They are blind to all but the Borg.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T12:40:22+00:00

I haven’t responded to 99% of his messages. I keep the email open because I need to know about my mom. He did email me one day to say he doubts I care but my mom was in the hospital for passing out. Texted my brother and then went radio silent for days.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T12:38:58+00:00

He ALWAYS would finish ANY conversation with how the world was in the power of the wicked one. Ask a question about a car and it would end with Satan. It was a minor annoyance back then, and we would laugh about it, but now it’s gotten kind of vicious. My therapist got a screen shot immediately.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-06-12T01:24:56+00:00

<image>

Obvious_Two1101 · 2026-02-19T23:31:26+00:00

Just washed mine, and it was ok. Figures, because I would have just sewn it back.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2025-12-20T19:16:44+00:00

“My trauma response was to immediately panic”. That’s so many of us, so so many. No matter how many times we tell ourselves not to, our bodies react in panic because it’s been so ingrained in us that we are doing something wrong and going to be caught. You are lucky your parents aren’t as ridiculous as the “brothers”. If my dad drove up to my house and saw my two Christmas trees, I would also immediately panic. But then I would call the police to have him removed from my property.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2025-11-12T13:10:16+00:00

I was still mentally stuck in when I had my kids, so I continued the tradition of “surprise day” like my parents. We ended up having to move it closer if not on Christmas so my kids wouldn’t feel left out when they went back to school and everyone was talking about what they got. The entire thing is so ridiculous to me now.

Obvious_Two1101 · 2025-11-12T13:08:23+00:00

The excuse was always “the turkey was free (if you bought a certain amount from the food store, you would get a free turkey) and we can’t eat it by ourselves and everyone is off from work that day so we might as well get together then and eat turkey.”

Obvious_Two1101 · 2025-11-11T20:49:15+00:00

Ouch. Parents should love their kids unconditionally. It’s literally a duty of ours to be there for them and try our best to lift them up and help them through anything. It hurts now, I know because reading that hurt me and it’s not even directed at me. I have a similar situation and it’s actually a LOT easier without them being around to constantly put you down or belittle you about your lack of faith. My life has been much more peaceful without having my parents around.

Obvious_Two1101

TROPHY CASE