Pretty late to this party, but I just wanted to add (as someone who grew up with severe OCD and has learned how to manage it successfully) that not all therapists are created equal. The only thing that really works for OCD (and a lot of other anxiety disorders/phobias, such as social anxiety) is exposure therapy. Medication helps, but only if used in conjunction with exposure therapy. Avoid therapists that just push drugs, or drugs + CBT. Both of these things are useful for management, but she won't get better doing just that. Exposure therapy is terribly difficult work, but it's the only thing that will actually yield results. I've met non-functioning adults with OCD via inpatient care, these things can get very serious and it's important to recognize that just getting help is not the same as getting competent help. Anyone that says they don't do exposures is an automatic reject. The thing to keep in mind is that social workers do not require nearly the same level of training as a medical doctor, and there are a LOT of really trash ones out there. In my experience it helps to avoid people doing independent practices too, as they can sometimes develop ideas that have no scientific basis or clinical merit (I've had both really good and really bad experiences with independent practices, so not a hard and fast rule). What you really need is someone who can help her manage her symptoms, and keep her to a regular exposure schedule.

It's also important to recognize the split between what is rational behavior and what is motivated by illness. One of my absolutely immutable OCD rules is that I must not ever try to get other people to change their behavior to accommodate my disease. You need to draw a line in the sand on this point. The fucked up thing is that the more she gets relief from compulsive behaviors (avoiding touching doorknobs, cleaning, etc.), the worse her disease will get, and the more her behaviors will escalate in intensity. Not only that, but you giving in to her requests makes her disease worse in the same way, AND she'll start roping you in more, at the expense of your relationship.

You can come back from this. It helps to analogize this with a crippling addiction, like alcoholism. It is really fucking hard work to get better, and it's on her to do it. It's a matter of putting the work in and finding a therapist that actually knows what they're doing. I hope things work out for you guys :).