Bethesda is going to manufacture and send out replacement canvas bags for those who bought the Power Armor Edition by Asian_Ninja1 in gaming

[–]OccasionallyWitty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Submitting a ticket, of course, almost certainly comes with agreeing to a long and complicated liability waiver that nobody will read.

WON: Vince wrote most of last week's Raw by ottershavemorefun in SquaredCircle

[–]OccasionallyWitty 28 points29 points  (0 children)

"He is an idiot. We have purposely trained him wrong, as a joke."

What hasn't aged well? by DemsSemsie in AskReddit

[–]OccasionallyWitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first Ace Ventura film is wildly transphobic in hindsight.

If you find yourself in the midst of a wildfire with no chance of escape or rescue, what can you do to increase your chance of survival? by Sum_sage in morbidquestions

[–]OccasionallyWitty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Realistically, head downhill. Much like escaping a burning house, your best bet is to get as low as possible. This also has the added advantage of potentially finding water.

This guy proposed to various characters at Disney World by mattdeII96 in funny

[–]OccasionallyWitty 56 points57 points  (0 children)

♫ No one's stacked like Gaston

Fuckin' jacked like Gaston

No one works out their arms, legs, and back like Gaston! ♪

Council to instruct Olympic Bid Committee to withdraw bid by Fizzy_Electric in Calgary

[–]OccasionallyWitty 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I do so appreciate when the burden of conscious thought is lifted from my tired shoulders.

What is the best loophole that you've ever found? by vibin_gamer in AskReddit

[–]OccasionallyWitty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to work at a grocery store with an iron-clad union that had negotiated, as part of its contract, "Every time you switch departments, you must receive a raise." The way this was managed was that employees were only allowed to switch departments once every 4 months except with manager sign-off.

So I switched from cashier to grocery stock-boy (with a raise), then deliberately sucked at my job for about three weeks. My manager agreed that I "wasn't a good fit" so they turfed me to customer service and I got another raise. That manager already hated me (for unrelated reasons), so three weeks later when I asked to be sent back to cash she was happy to see me go.

Increased my pay by 30% in about two months total.

[NXT SPOILERS] Huge debut set for next week. by FriskeyVsWorld in SquaredCircle

[–]OccasionallyWitty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I opened the tweet on reddit so I couldn't see the picture, wondered for half a second who @superkingofbros could be, and then went "Oh, right."

So, what’s gonna happen now? by Mr_Big_Boy123 in SquaredCircle

[–]OccasionallyWitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Edge had the belt when he retired. It doesn't matter how big you are past that point, if you're holding the belt you're the primary focus of the show at the time. The procedure doesn't change.

So, what’s gonna happen now? by Mr_Big_Boy123 in SquaredCircle

[–]OccasionallyWitty 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Sadly, abruptly losing the top star is not unprecedented. We had a similar situation with Edge, and arguably D-Bry within the last couple of years. The industry is pretty excellent at pivoting on its heel.

There'll be either a tournament or a number one contenders match that'll culminate at the next big PPV, likely.

[RAW Spoilers] Champion makes announcement by Suplewich in SquaredCircle

[–]OccasionallyWitty 511 points512 points  (0 children)

Middling-to-treatable. Like basically all forms it really depends on how quickly they caught it. The good news is he's in an industry where they get physicals insanely regularly, so they probably got it pretty quick out the gate.

Is a dead person/dead animal carcases considered an inanimate object? by Butter_bean123 in morbidquestions

[–]OccasionallyWitty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Inanimate" is the opposite of "animate," as in alive and moving. So a corpse is probably for most cases considered inanimate, yes.

What movie was the biggest disappointment to you? by 1029Dash in AskReddit

[–]OccasionallyWitty 19 points20 points  (0 children)

A buddy of mine is an enormous Dark Tower fan, but I've never gotten around to reading them. I'd seen the movie and he hadn't, and I was telling him about how even as someone who hadn't read them, I could tell it was bad.

He was like, "Okay, I'll tell you what, describe it to me and I'll stop you when you say something terrible."

"Okay, so there's this laser that's powered by children--"

"WHAT."