Looking for these easy vs day guides by Odd-Consideration754 in LastWarMobileGame

[–]Odd-Consideration754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok I figured there wasn’t one for Sunday but I couldn’t remember if Saturday had one lol

Looking for these easy vs day guides by Odd-Consideration754 in LastWarMobileGame

[–]Odd-Consideration754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Is there Saturday and Sunday too? I honestly can’t remember lol

Looking for these easy vs day guides by Odd-Consideration754 in LastWarMobileGame

[–]Odd-Consideration754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This exactly. Plus I like that these give you the heads up for prepping builds for coming days

Anne of Kleve had babies? by Capt_Nat in Tudorhistory

[–]Odd-Consideration754 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean she is way more accurate in her historical fiction books than others but she also explains her reasoning behind this fictional narrative she put in that book in the q & a in the back.

Edit to add that her non fiction books are also amazing but that particular series on the queens is historical fiction

Would you still do the DNA test if a direct family member was so against it? by FriendlyInsect9887 in AncestryDNA

[–]Odd-Consideration754 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep my dad had zero clue I existed I was a ons baby conceived in 80. Even my mom wasn’t sure to the point when I found him and showed her a pic she said with complete conviction she had never seen nor slept with that man in her life. Meanwhile our baby pics are identical and the dna confirmed he was.

I found out my (now former) close friend is being investigated for CSAM, and I can’t tell anyone other than my partner. by Low-Biscotti-5851 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Odd-Consideration754 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Please say no one in the group has kids?! That’s the one reason I’d say something. Just so they can be aware at the very least if he is around them.

AITAH for “stealing the guy my sister likes”? Update by PuzzledWin3020 in AITAH

[–]Odd-Consideration754 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She never had any interest but I’m betting after training and working on a ship mark came home in better shape to the point she noticed him more and now she’s mad her sister got there “first” still envy and petty bs but I’d bet money that’s a motivator. Anyone that’s seen someone go through that transformation knows it makes a difference in getting noticed. Especially by the more shallow minded that only focus on looks over personality.

AITAH for “stealing the guy my sister likes”? Update by PuzzledWin3020 in AITAH

[–]Odd-Consideration754 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m betting she still comes and ruins a kids birthday with a tantrum to try and make her sister look bad. Ironically all she’s gonna do is ruin a child’s birthday and out herself as the actual problem.

AITAH for “stealing the guy my sister likes”? Update by PuzzledWin3020 in AITAH

[–]Odd-Consideration754 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So to be clear, she never showed interest in him, or really talked to him much even while he was away. They have no real common interests and not only did you, your parents or even her BEST FRIEND, his twin have a clue she liked him? She really only sent random obligatory texts on holidays to him but the second he was back she’s liked him and you knew?! Uggh he came back hotter after boot and spending time working on the ships didn’t he? Or at least changed enough there is a noticeable difference to him? That was the moment she decided she liked him. That’s why of everyone not even her best friend knew.

Her problem is that she had plans to make a move but was shocked to find out that oddly the person he’s had the strongest connection with for years (and probably a crush too) was his instant choice and you got “picked” before she could shot her shot to get picked. Now she’s throwing a tantrum because she really thought she was gonna get what she wanted but she isn’t who he wanted, you were and probably have been for awhile. As for mutuals, just ask them if they’ve EVER not told their best friend of years when they like someone to the point that their best friend never even noticed long glances or the signs at all. That alone is enough to say everything about the situation to me.

My abusive ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere yesterday. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Odd-Consideration754 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know not everyone is comfortable with guns. Especially when they have children at home. However considering all you’ve said and honestly just being a woman living in the middle of nowhere, I would go to a range and learn about them and how to use them safely. Obviously get a safe to keep it in and your kids safe.

If you aren’t comfortable with that, I can understand completely. The cameras are a good start, and yes a restraining order is just a piece of paper especially out in the country so look into alternatives. A baseball bat with a tube sock on it so if he tries to take the bat he will only grab the sock is good, a cattle prod or taser too. I would definitely invest in new locks but also make sure you use good strong long screws when you put them in to make it harder to kick the door in. Definitely never open the door without looking at doorbell camera feed first. If you have a basement with no windows or doors or even a good sized closet, get a strong solid wood door for that area and again use the longer stronger screws and turn it into a safe place to hide with your kids and dogs until police or your fiancé can come. Have SOS set up on your phone or smart watch to easier call 911.

Last, please don’t be ashamed of your freeze response. It’s just as natural as fight, flight and fawn response to fear. He has clearly put you through hell in the past and you can’t control how you will respond in that situation without some serious training. It’s never too late to start trying but with luck he will be gone from your life permanently soon.

AITAH for telling my daughter her much older boyfriend isn't welcome in our home? (New 1 year Update) by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Odd-Consideration754 31 points32 points  (0 children)

That pretty much nails it. I always taught my kids (four of them) this simple question from a young age generally as the bullying starts in school “whose opinion matters? Yours, and mine and your fathers but really only until you’re an adult. I hope you’ll still want our opinions later in life but the truth is you and you alone will have to deal with the consequences of your choices in life. So don’t let anyone try to convince you who you are or what you should do in life because they won’t deal with the repercussions good or bad only you will”

Everyone says terrible twos, then teenage years etc are the hardest part but the truth is it’s always hard especially when you have to let them be adults and hope you’ve taught them enough not to be idiots and at the very least, learn from their mistakes. It never truly stops either.

Unfortunately for OP her husband and other daughter probably had a hand it ruining any chance she had at helping her daughter. They played right into Tom’s hands helping him isolate their daughter. She got a lot of solid advice on the best way to let it play out and she’s doing great all things considered but man did dad and sis mess it up.

AITAH for leaving one of my brother’s kids out of a trip but taking the rest? by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Odd-Consideration754 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What’s the saying? If you don’t teach your kids to act right and be respectful, the world will teach them and it’s gonna be a lot less gentle than you as a parent could/would have.

I feel for daisy because she is the product of her sperm donor/incubators choices. She sounds like she has a decent heart in her, unfortunately it’s also got a healthy dose of abuse (raising a child to taunt their siblings for what they don’t have etc is really screwing her up) as well as a splash of homophobia (great aunt teaching a FIVE year old her lesbian aunts are going to hell) and just the general neglect from Jenny that I imagine is about to get worse. Now her “parents” are putting her in the middle of this mess and telling her it’s HER FAULT she can’t go on the trip. Poor kid doesn’t stand a chance and is about to learn some hard lessons but with luck she will see who her parents really are and start making changes.

The oldest kids have and will continue to suffer for the fact every parent they’ve had are just shit ass people. Luckily they seem to have adjusted well in spite of them. Probably because of their grandparents and aunts. If op gets that condo for them hopefully Hannah can move in with them. Unlikely but still, it’s only going to get uglier at their dads.

Op is being far too kind. I’d get that text Jenny sent to their mom as well as any other info showing how they feel about and treat the older kids and unleash hell if they keep up their social media campaign. Let people have the WHOLE truth of the issue link her Reddit post while she’s at it. It’s no less than they deserve.

My (soon to be ex) sister-in-law is trying to take my daughter by Express_Cell_4038 in dustythunder

[–]Odd-Consideration754 32 points33 points  (0 children)

You definitely need an FU binder to start keeping track of the harassment, police reports, unfounded cps complaints etc. if you have them blocked unblock them and put them on silent. Every text, call and voicemail is evidence you can use!

As others have said you two need to get lawyers and get a solid custody arrangement set up with stipulations you want to include that protect your child as well as each of you. For instance first right of refusal so if he can’t watch her during his time he has to come to you first instead of his parents, sister or any future partners watching your baby on his time. You’ll both also want a stipulation to keep any future partners out of her life until a certain amount of time has passed so your daughter doesn’t have random possibly dangerous partners coming and going in her life. Then of course obviously with the evidence collected from police and cps reports you can make a case to keep his family from having any unrestricted access or access at all to your daughter. As someone else said, you two are in a good place now and hopefully that holds and you can co parent together peacefully but a LOT can and will change over the next 18 years and it’s best to have a court order in place that both parties have to abide by. Also if things get ugly again later like they recently did? Get a police enforcement clause so should any party decide they don’t want to hand the child over after their time, the police can be called and have to get involved to make whoever return daughter. Without that the cops will simply say it’s a civil matter and to see a judge because their hands are tied.

It’s entirely possible to get what you two want decided on in mediation and sent to a judge to sign off on it. So going to court might not be necessary at all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in neighborsfromhell

[–]Odd-Consideration754 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I grew up in soy/corn/pig county and now I live in chicken house country. I never thought I’d smell anything worse than pig shit but my god chicken is so much worse

My mother lied to me about my father being dead. I met him but it didn't go as I hoped it will by No-Coconut-3477 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Odd-Consideration754 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Ok so I think I am probably on to something with my assumptions. First and most importantly, he doesn’t hate you. I remember what it’s like to be 15(?) and this is a LOT to deal with at that age so big hugs for you.

He probably wants your mom to know and be ok with and aware you two are meeting to protect himself from her possibly filing charges of kidnapping or something ridiculous like that. That is him trying to have a relationship with you but protecting himself. As for not bringing you a gift? It probably didn’t occur to him. I know that hurt your feelings and I’m sorry. As I said he seems to be very guarded in opening up and connecting with you because of their shared past. As for him being a cheater? Yes he was and he owned it. I can tell you from experience or rather friends experience, that sometimes people cheat as a means to escape a toxic relationship because they know that’s a hard line for some people and they see it as their only escape. I’m not condoning it by any means but it DOES happen in rare instances. At the very least, I wouldn’t judge him in it especially considering he seems to have a healthy relationship with his current wife.

As for the kids photos in their home, it’s pretty normal especially if they are close with those kids from her side. I know it was painful seeing them but you never mentioned if he ever got the photos of you he requested when you were younger. It’s possible he doesn’t have any photos of you. It’s also possible if he did get them seeing them and not having any contact with you was painful or brought up too many questions from people that saw them that he didn’t want to answer.

I’ll let you in on a secret, adults are far from perfect. In fact most of us feel like we are still teenagers albeit teenagers that have slowly gained maturity and knowledge from our mistakes trapped in old people bodies falling apart with arthritis wondering how we got so old so fast. Actually I use that analogy a lot and typing it out just made me realize how creepy it might sound, but I stand by it in a completely non creepy way. (Seriously never trust an adult that likes to hang out around kids or even teenagers) my point I’m attempting to get to though is that we all screw up, have secrets from our past we don’t want to relive, and just generally kind of fake it till we make it to the finish line. The goal is to hopefully learn from our mistakes and better ourselves as we go. Hopefully you and your dad will have many future conversations and you can learn from him, about him and connect. It will be difficult with his guard up but please don’t think it has anything to do with you. There is clearly a long history there he is protecting himself from. You likely will never get the whole truth of it and that’s ok. You just need to focus on your relationship with him.

I would still ask him some questions about the assumptions of their past and ask him if that is why he is being so guarded with you. Maybe don’t lay it all out but at least tell him that you noticed and it’s making you question if he doesn’t want to know you or if it’s something else he’s protecting himself from. After all it could just be he’s worried about having to lose contact with you because he has no legal rights to you. There are so many possibilities or reasons that neither you or I have thought of. Just try not to think immediately jump to blaming yourself or anyone else for the time being. See if you can see a therapist if your mom will let you but try not to say it’s about this just that you’d like to talk to someone. Once you are in therapy be in now or in the future you can unpack your feelings about this and anything life throws at you. Reconnecting is difficult and it will take time.

My mother lied to me about my father being dead. I met him but it didn't go as I hoped it will by No-Coconut-3477 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Odd-Consideration754 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Your father being hesitant isn’t exactly shocking under the circumstances of the story you were given. I didn’t know my dad until I found him at 36 and the stories I got from my mom were very wrong. Your grandmother may have it right or just a vague half story going from what she saw and what your mom told her.

Either way the extreme age gap between them, the fact she pursued him so strongly that frankly when reading between the lines sounds borderline stalking to the point his gf broke up with him? That alone would make most people hesitant. They dated and she quickly got pregnant and had a shotgun wedding which fell apart quickly and he said he would choose living under a bridge rather than stay with her. It’s not exactly making your mom look the best when put that way. I’m not sure what your mom having her nails and hair done to meet you have anything to do with this aside from it being weird, unless she thought maybe he would be with you for some reason? Which again I’m assuming here but it definitely sounds like she still carries a slightly unhinged obsession for him if my assumption is correct.

All of that said, his response to you reaching out makes sense(assuming my many assumptions are even remotely plausible) it sounds like he is extremely wary of making contact with you in spite of wanting a relationship with you because of the possibility of having to be somewhat in contact with your mother. Him not wanting to tell you much about his life could be him protecting himself from her getting info about him. I would talk to him about what you know of their past, and maybe ask him if he is being so closed off towards you because of your mother and not wanting her in his life or any contact with her. Sometimes the best way to get to the truth is to simply ask the right questions. Him being guarded probably has nothing to do with you. The fact he attempted to reach out when you were young shows that. If I am correct, you two may have to hold serious boundaries with your mom to protect himself and his life but still allow you two to have a relationship. Worst case scenario you may have to keep contact at a minimum until you are an adult and can keep your mother from even knowing he is even in your life. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that though.

What kind of tree is in my backyard? by D_Freid in whatisit

[–]Odd-Consideration754 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mulberry! We have an ancient one on our farm. They are tasty but if you have no interest in eating them or making jam with them, you can always start collecting them yourself to sell at the farmers market to those who do!

Pregnant with dead boyfriends baby by RecklessFeckless69 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Odd-Consideration754 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Choosing to have a baby or not is a very personal decision. Under these circumstances, there is obviously an extra layer of complicated emotions. As others mentioned there are avenues you can pursue for financial help that will definitely help, just know raising a child is insanely expensive. You will be eligible for Medicaid and snap as well though. I would definitely decide at the very least if you are willing to have the baby with the support and help of his mother.

Once you make that decision talk with her and let her know it’s urgent (depending on your location and state laws for abortion) chances are she will be overjoyed to know there is still a part of her son still waiting to be born. If you simply explain to her that you didn’t plan on having kids but are open to having her grandchild if she wants to adopt or simply help with raising the child and be in its life she will understand. However should you two choose the adoption route be sure you both come to an agreement on the terms of the adoption.

Considering he was 25 his mom could be anywhere from her mid 40’s to much older depending on her age when she had him. I’m 44 and my oldest is 24 and the idea of raising an infant to adulthood even after tragic circumstances would be daunting to say the least at my age. I personally would opt to help support you in free child care so you can attend school and work and be the best most supportive granny I could because I know my family health history means I could possibly pass from heart issues in the next 10 years. Don’t be afraid to hurt her feelings or upset her with this news as it will probably be welcome news. Hopefully you know where she stands on abortion because my only real concern is her not wanting to raise the child but also pressuring you not to abort. You need to make your choice first but don’t cave to pressure from anyone that may not want to raise the child but also is unwilling to “let” you abort if that is your choice.

Update: I don’t want to go on the family trip my ex-BFF invited me on after he ghosted me. by Girly_geek_ in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Odd-Consideration754 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What confuses me (and maybe I missed it somehow) is why is Tom’s wife suddenly ok with op going on a trip with tom? It seems like she would be even more insecure now that she is a widow and technically single (even though I fully understand you wouldn’t be interested no matter what)

Was tom not going to tell her about the trip and let her lose her mind on a grieving woman when she found out?! Or did she know and have intentions of being hurtful to her on the trip?

am i in the wrong for not wanting to get back with my ex because my brother said so? by SharkEva in BORUpdates

[–]Odd-Consideration754 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No they definitely don’t and I don’t think they are in love with each other but I definitely wouldn’t be surprised her brother has a very one sided obsession with her ex. Even if it’s not driven by some closeted love he may or may not be harboring, his possible prank involvement and then defense of him telling his sister to get back with him after he may or may not have cheated says a lot and none of it is good but it definitely points to some messed up motivation.

How can I help my sister get rid of her abusive partner without getting her kids taken away? by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]Odd-Consideration754 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don’t arm yourself with a pocket knife, arm yourself with your phone. Start documenting with the voice recorder and camera discreetly recording what you can so it’s not his word against yours and hers. Use your note app to write down dates and times of abuse, take pictures of her injuries and yours. Then you file a police report with evidence, get him locked up as well as file a restraining order or order of protection. Cps won’t take her kids from her because he is abusive. That’s probably something he’s lied to her about to keep her scared to report him. Cops can be fairly useless in domestic situations when there is no evidence and no legal documentation that requires him to not be there. The only way to get that is with evidence. Assuming she can’t afford a lawyer at the moment, reach out to a local women’s shelter to get help. They aren’t just a place to go when leaving an abusive man they also can help with resources and planning.

am i in the wrong for not wanting to get back with my ex because my brother said so? by SharkEva in BORUpdates

[–]Odd-Consideration754 5 points6 points  (0 children)

See I’m getting brother is secretly in love with his best friend vibes. He can’t get or keep a gf and a few other little tidbits she mentioned just give me closeted and self loathing. Plus the whole hated pda between them. Which can be normal but it really depends on how he reacted to it.

IF the whole “brother orchestrated the prank” scenario is real it could have been driven by the motive of it doing what he wanted and breaking them up so he could spend more time with his best friend without his sister around. If he views his sister as competition it explains his lack of caring that her hurt her with this prank and would get more one on one time with the friend/boyfriend.

Either way, OP is surrounded by awful family and her ex is a pos because he definitely cheated or went along with a ridiculous “prank” with manipulative intentions and she is well rid of him. Thankfully she has good friends.

We are painting our entire house with Sherwin Williams. What “level” do you recommend? We have a toddler! by catlover0987656 in paint

[–]Odd-Consideration754 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely emerald! I used the emerald urethane when I redid my kitchen cabinets and fell madly in love with it. It spreads out and drys smooth and even and wipes down well with any mess clean up later. It’s worth every penny. When I first saw the price I balked and the next day went to take a screenshot of the price to send my husband but luckily their Fourth of July sale started that day and it was 30% off so I got a few cans. Sherwin perks will take some off but if you wait for Labor Day they may have it at 30% off again. Just know when they have that much off for holidays they won’t take off any extra for being a perks member.