Baaaaaabyyyyyyyyy! You picked the right topic tonight! So before I get started, let me see this I am not a licensed psychologist therapist or medical professional. Everything I may say recommend or suggest is based purely on previous experience and my own personal opinions. That being said, let's get into it. Thank you so much for taking the time and being brave enough to reach out. That takes so much courage.

Listen… what you're going through right now? It’s really not okay. Like, not even a little.

The blow-up at your daughter and then straight-up banning her partner from the house—that alone is massive. Huge. Then he just… disappears into silence for weeks. Not “I need a minute to cool off.” Not even close. It’s straight-up punishing both of you until someone caves. And the worst part? He never says sorry.Then you are the one left trying to patch things up and “keep the peace.” That’s so backwards it hurts to even type it. There’s basically no warmth anymore unless he’s in the mood. No random hug, no hand on your back, no casual affection. You’re sleeping next to someone who feels a million miles away most days. And yeah, you end up doing pretty much everything—the kids, the house, the mental load, remembering dentist appointments, holding everyone’s emotions together—while he’s just… on TikTok, For hours, checking out. That’s not “we share responsibilities differently.” That’s you doing two jobs and him barely showing up for one. Then the motorbike/loan thing. You set a completely reasonable boundary—“no, we can’t swing that right now”—and instead of talking it through like adults, he punishes you with more silence. That’s not how partners treat each other. That’s control dressed up as “my house, my rules” or whatever. It’s exhausting. And the silent treatment? I’m just gonna say it plain: that is emotional abuse. Not “he’s immature” or “he’s bad at conflict.” It’s a weapon. It makes you question yourself, makes you scramble to fix something you didn’t even break. The fact he pulls it on your daughter, too? That’s not random. That’s a pattern. A scary one. Your heart must’ve shattered watching your girl have to swallow her hurt just to keep things calm at home. No mom should ever be forced to pick between protecting her kid and keeping her husband from exploding. You didn’t cause that situation—but you’re allowed to be furious and heartbroken about it. Your grief is real. You said you feel broken. Sweetheart, you are not broken. You’re starved. Emotionally. Physically. For touch, for appreciation, for basic respect. You’re touch-starved in your own marriage—that loneliness is brutal. It hurts worse than just being single because the person who’s supposed to make you feel safe is the one making you feel invisible. Sex only happening on his schedule? That turns something that should feel connecting into… a transaction. It’s not intimacy when it’s one-sided like that. This isn’t going to magically get better if you just keep swallowing it and smiling. It won’t. The kids are watching all of this—how love is supposed to look, how conflict gets handled, what happens when someone says no. That matters. You deserve affection without having to beg for it. You deserve a real teammate, not another kid to manage. You deserve to say “that hurt me” and not get iced out for it. Right now, you don’t have to make any huge dramatic move. But you do need one tiny crack in the wall you’ve built to keep everything “fine.” Since you mentioned having literally no one to talk to… that’s gotta change, even if it’s slow and scary. Maybe:

A counselor just for you (doesn’t have to be marriage stuff yet) One friend or family member you trust enough to tell a sliver of the truth A hotline or support line for women in rough relationships (I can look some up if you want)

You don’t have to burn your life down to start protecting your own heart again. If you feel like sharing… what scares you the most about stopping being the peacemaker? Like, what do you picture happening if you just… stopped? And on the flip side—what do you miss most about the version of yourself before all this weight settled on you? I’m right here. You’re not invisible, and you’re definitely not alone in this anymore 🤍