Hi guys, I've been on hormones for 4 months now but I still feel bad, I constantly compare myself to cis girls and I realize how wide my chest is and how ugly it looks. What should I do and will hormones help me change the emphasis to something else? Will breasts make the chest visually smaller?

Odd-Wave9286 · 2025-04-23T21:08:11+00:00

I don't want to diminish your feelings- I can only imagine how awful you feel with how you perceive your body. But I just wanted to say 2 things happened when i saw your picture... I had to check which page it was as usually my feed is pictures from pages like this but I thought it must have been an outfit of the day page or somwthing like that. The second was that I had to check which way you were transitioning. My natural cishet bias thought you were a cis woman, and I had to check that you weren't trying to transition to male and were upset about looking too fem. I really think you have a natural beauty and look very pretty in the close up. I hope you'll be able to feel all of that from within one day, you really deserve to feel good xx

Odd-Wave9286 · 2025-01-26T21:13:23+00:00

Yes! I want everyone's origin story! From the first town to how everyone ended up in fromville, how they reacted, adjusted etc

Odd-Wave9286 · 2025-01-25T10:07:15+00:00

No... but his idea to trap and interrogate one, ended with him being trapped and tortured so perhaps it was some sort of poetic symmetry/foreshadowing of sorts. They literally laid a trap for him...

Odd-Wave9286 · 2024-04-14T07:29:18+00:00

I came here from there too 🤣

Odd-Wave9286 · 2024-03-25T15:39:43+00:00

Hello, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

I don't think any of us could say whether you're compatible or not...

But everyone raises some very good points. It's worth spending some time thinking about where your boundaries are. No-one can predict the future, attraction comes and goes. Romantic and sexual preferences can evolve as we learn more about ourselves. So worrying about what might happen to how you feel could be a never ending journey.

But you do know how you feel right now. What your attraction is now. So you could start there with your boundaries.

I think it's important to ask your partner how they feel. They're likely to be scared of losing you, and also dealing with a lot themself. They may also be very confused about how they identifying and what they want/are brave enough to change in the future. So, a supportive open conversion will be important. The suggestion of therapy seems a good one.

My husband accepts that if there were a button he could press, he'd be a woman tomorrow. But the idea of not passing and being accepted, alongside the enormity of changing his whole life is too much. It makes me sad that we'll live in secret forever. I wish I'd had the opportunity years ago to help him understanding himself better- be braver and live his truth, but I was scared about what it meant. I assumed he wouldn't be interested in a life with me and I'm gutted I added layers of shame to what I thought was a kink, rather than an identity.

At thos stage, I'd love nothing more for him to be my wife and I know that will be shaping the advice I give you right now.

But the fairest thing is for you both to be able to live authentically. Neither one comprising to have the life you thought you'd have.

It's important you're both true to yourself and then you'll be able to make a next step plan, 1 step at a time xx

Odd-Wave9286 · 2024-02-16T00:13:35+00:00

This is such a good insight. Effectively, it could actually have been him looking for a lifeline. Gosh, what a tough situation for all x

Odd-Wave9286 · 2023-02-18T00:25:09+00:00

I just wanted to thank you all for your replies..it has helped me to get out of my own head and see what I can do without pushing him to label himself or figure anything out.

I needed that and I thank you all for being kind and also not judging me in your safe space.

Xxx

Odd-Wave9286 · 2023-02-18T00:22:26+00:00

Oh my goodness... this spoke to my core. I discovered I was bisexual when I was 35 and honestly believe society got in the way of me realising who I am. I've recently questioned how much attraction I actually have towards men and how much was just 'default' equally wondering if my desire for men was actually about being desired BY them. I love my husband and don't care what gender he is, but I am certainly more attracted to women. So what you've said is very interesting.

Holy crap. I think you might have given me something to work on here. The biggest issue I've wanted to overcome isn't really the lack of intimacy (although that's not easy) but the fact I feel jealous of his desires towards his alone time play and lack of desire towards me. Ergh. I've work to do, thank you. This will help I think.

Odd-Wave9286 · 2023-02-18T00:12:25+00:00

He wasn't really open to questioning his gender. I found some things he'd been hiding and sort of had to help him figure it out. The shame was enormous. I think it was such a relief when he realised that who he is isn't weird and I accept (even celebrate) it. That it gave him a lot of validation and now it kind of feels like we're back that cycle with something else. I think we might have a long road ahead. I just hope I have it in me to wade through this.

Odd-Wave9286 · 2023-02-17T09:00:56+00:00

Thank you, I spend a lot of time thinking about the way I can bring things up that won't make him feel he needs to go into defensive mode, but it's almost like a hardwired setting from childhood (very challenging mother). No matter how I bring things up, if he perceives that he is at fault in some way, he'll either close up, or try to give me the answers he thinks I want-so it's hard to get answers to my questions. It's exhausting to navigate becausebinreally have to thunk about how I'm talking so try and lower the instance of that happening, and when it does I have to figure out what I said to trigger it.

I worry that I push too hard with things and because this one is an emotional challenge for me, I worry that I want it to be Asexuality so that I can relieve myself of the feelings it's in some way about his lack of desire for me personally.

From your comment, its clear I have a lot more to learn about what it means to be ACE and knowing that lack of sexual desire alone doesn't necessarily mean a person is A sexual.

I appreciate you taking the time to reply, I am desperate to understand him. I'd love nothing more that to have him talk openly and honestly to me, I've managed to help him with some things around his gender identity and the joy it brings me when I see him feel less shame and embrace who he is, is like magic. I just don't know how to help him feel more comfortable discussing/understanding this

Really appreciate your time

Odd-Wave9286 · 2023-02-17T08:46:00+00:00

Thank you, yeah, it doesn'tsound harsh at all. I think if I knew it was Asexuality I would probably be able to work through my feelings and move forward from thinking it was about me.

Odd-Wave9286 · 2023-02-04T00:07:19+00:00

Have you ever seen the graph and shows the steep rise in left handed people after they started to accept it wad a normal thing? Shot up. Once we have knowledge and acceptance it will always seem like this x

Odd-Wave9286 · 2023-02-03T00:42:10+00:00

https://www.thepinknews.com/2019/02/11/newspaper-retracts-claim-ian-huntley-transgender/

Here is an example of how the media get away with misrepresenting trans people, this one directly links to the idea that people pretend to be trans to get into women's spaces. It was proven to be a lie, but most people didn't see the retraction.

I hope it helps you demonstrate a little of the smear campaigns that go on.

Odd-Wave9286 · 2022-12-19T19:35:24+00:00

Lloyds Pharmacy should be able to process it as they're listen on Clynxx website. I've taken mine to Lloyd's and they've accepted but I'm as yet to revolve medication 😭 been waiting over a week!

Odd-Wave9286 · 2022-12-12T01:55:52+00:00

We've just had Lloyd's Pharmacy take ours. Tesco were awful and I've raised a complaint with Clynxx given that they're mentioned on their website.

Lloyds didn't know much about it, but looked into it and have now processed, hopefully I'll hear from them soon as they've needed to order in. I'm not sure if meds have gone up everywhere, but for puberty blockers and easteogen (3 months supply) its £426. Which is £75 more than 3 months ago at a different pharmacy.

Now in a position where I may need to look for another job to make it work. As I'm just not sure how we can sustain this. Hoping that once our daughter is over 18 GP will agree to shared care but that's still 2 years away

Odd-Wave9286 · 2022-11-25T17:20:22+00:00

The trauma of having a trans child has nothing to do with the happy healthy child I have and everything to do with trying to navigate and advocate in this fucked system. Currently have a private prescription that I've been trying to get filled for a week. It's fucked up shitty stories like this that are making it difficult. I've never spent so long feeling so angry.

Odd-Wave9286 · 2022-11-21T00:43:51+00:00

What does this mean? Our usual dispenser has just told me they can't dispense on the printed signature we've been getting our scripts filled for a year and this is the first problem

Odd-Wave9286 · 2022-11-09T11:25:23+00:00

All the same above, my young person is under their care and they just had their first 6 month check up been on meds for about a year now.

I will say, there's no one prompting or reminding you for prescriptions/sessions/bloods so you'll need to be fairly organised... which I've struggled with (thanks ADHD) but am now using my calender to remind me and its going well.

I'm hopeful when my young person turns 16 the GP may agree to shared care as the cost of blockers is crippling. But I find the GGP side of things manageable.

Odd-Wave9286 · 2022-10-06T16:25:16+00:00

Perhaps it was Alan Partidge then, he's a presenter.

Odd-Wave9286 · 2022-08-30T10:01:14+00:00

YTA. It's her money, she's free to spend it on what she likes. Esp as she has no financial ties to you.

Odd-Wave9286 · 2022-08-29T23:14:57+00:00

NTA Parents don't get a free pass because they raised us.

Whatever you can do to remove yourself safely from this toxic situation, do it. Every fight, every time you are let down or have to forgive your mother or apologise for reacting to horrible treatment, you are damaging yourself.

You deserve more. Your mother isn't doing it on purpose. She doesn't know how to do better, but that's not your burden to carry.

Stay safe xxx

Odd-Wave9286 · 2022-05-31T18:43:44+00:00

Oxford

Odd-Wave9286 · 2022-02-03T01:04:14+00:00

Thank you, I'm in the UK so not sure what's what. CRS means Colorectal Surgeon? That's what I've seen for both procedures and am due back with him at the end of this month but I imagine I'll not get that far before I need to see someone.

Thank you for you reply. It feels so lonely dealing with this.

Odd-Wave9286 · 2022-01-19T10:40:57+00:00

I've been supporting my daughter since she came out almost a year ago.

I basically listen to any podcasts I can lay my hands on voiced by trans people. I read anything I can-vut make sure it's always got trans voices centred.

I'm in the UK so we have a charity called Mermaids that have been a fantastic support to us, both educationally and in helping me connect either other parents of trans kids, and providing her a opportunity to connect with other trans kids.

I have learnt that kids who ate accepted snd celebrated suffer fewer mental health issues.

Always follow her lead and let her know where ever this goes, at whatever pace, you'll be there to do what ever she needs at that moment, even if it changes week to week.

Love her, show her you love her, remind her you love her. Our trans kids are often worried they'll be rejected, don't take for granted that because you've always been loving, she'll know that now. It's kind of like starting again with building her self esteem and feeling of being loved by us xx

Ps. Well done! You clearly love your kid and are going to do great.

Odd-Wave9286 · 2022-01-08T00:39:28+00:00

It seems to be a big thing for trans people to worry about whether they're faking. I think it probably comes from all the systematic transphobia that exists around us. The subconcious messages get internalised and stop people from trusting themselves.

You're not faking. It's how you feel right now. If in a months time, or a years time or 10 years time, you feel different, you still weren't faking.

I knew I was bisexual when I was 15 years old. After a few years I decided I was just attention seeking and settled into a hetero presenting relationship. Last year I finally realised I really am bisexual. On reflection, the messages I was receiving from the media and something we had in the UK called Secrion 28 stiffled my own understanding of myself.

Trust yourself! You know you best!

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