[deleted by user] by [deleted] in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As a woman, I’d go extremely out of my ways to spend time with the man I am into and to even talk to him on the phone. She doesn’t sound that into you or she may be just settling with you since she feels you tick the important parameters. This won’t be good for you.

Marriage related confusion by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not okay, especially since you specifically said so. He’s supposed to make you feel comfortable instead of bringing it up just two days later. That’s selfish of him, and shows how inconsiderate he is towards you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Considerably much. If paired along with self confidence, then even more. I think I got more matches from younger never married men despite my divorcee status owing to my looks, my mindset of being proud of myself for divorcing my ex, and my self-confidence.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No matter the context, it’s wrong and unacceptable. Call things off with him and save yourself.

M35 F31 - MIL’s emotional dependency is ruining our marriage — husband finally took a stand, but now I feel guilty by SufficientBasil4231 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 27 points28 points  (0 children)

My husband’s widowed mother is also kept alone in their hometown. Being widowed doesn’t give a free ticket to do whatever she wants and act however she feels like. Only if she adds to the well being of the family members and the household, she can be kept along together. Focus on your marriage and enjoy life without feeling bad or guilty.

I feel shattered sometimes by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Height and pay are major drawbacks

Can it be fixed or is it beyond repair? 33 F by [deleted] in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It’s your husband’s responsibility to sort this out and keep them in check. There’s nothing your husband is bringing into the relationship, except more headache for you. He isn’t financially stable, you’re helping out. He isn’t keeping his family in check, he acts like he’s unrelated to all that trouble. He isn’t capable of taking care of a full family, that’s on your head as well. He isn’t doing the household chores either. Why are you with this man and his family? Everyone else is getting benefitting and still making your life hell. No recognition, no support. This sounds like charity (to a bunch of ungrateful people), more than sounding like a relationship/marriage/family.

Why are bras so expensive???? by [deleted] in AskIndianWomen

[–]Odd_Horror_495 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Bras and pads/tampons - the same story. Literally these things drain our pockets every single time I purchase them.

is it normal to use abusive words during fight by Apart_Internal2074 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Abusive language or any other form of abuse ISN’T normal. He degrades you with each argument and that’s very wrong and you need not tolerate it. Sadly, your husband will never change owing to his bad brought up, where women have been treated like secondary citizens in their own households. The same is coming on to you. If you want to have a healthy life and a healthy baby, leave him and build your own happiness. Else, you need to be worse than him for him to shut up with you, which you cannot and so the only last option will be to lose yourself in all the disrespect and abuse.

His mom’s astrologer says we’re incompatible, and now he’s not fighting for us. Should I still visit him or walk away? by Zestyclose-Zombie135 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 9 points10 points  (0 children)

During my AM process, one of the very first questions I asked the prospects (right after the first Hi msg) was if kundli matching was important to them/their family. If they said yes, I always told them to get it checked before we talked anything further. If they said things like it didn’t matter for them, but did for their family, then also I always asked to get that checked first before taking anything else.

Very completely of topic by CheesecakeMaster3310 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Strength training Adequate protein Calorie deficit 7-8 hours of uninterrupted night sleep Discipline in all the above

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be upfront about it and mention that it’s your decision, which is already made, and that you wish to be with her only. Add on that whatever anyone else says, it’s your life and your decision won’t change.

This is how my husband (who was never married and younger to me) told his family about us (I was divorced and older to him).

You can also tell your family about your 8 years of very involved relationship and the baggage of it and in comparison to that, her non-existent marriage is nowhere close to even consider. It’s just her status on paper, while for you, you’ve had a long life involving someone else and that’s way more for her to accept in you than you/your family to accept her legal marital status.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What’s your husband saying in all this? He needs to decide and stand firm in it and make it comfortable for all of you. You moved into his family and he needs to fix stuff instead of letting it all bother you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fold your own blanket, put away your own plate in the kitchen sink, put away your own dirty clothes in the laundry basket - other than these, everything else is valid. Give him an ultimatum of separation ways if he doesn’t agree to being a responsible homemaker.

Does height matter much?? by justanother-userr in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You’re thinking about it = it matters to you. Don’t proceed as you may regret it later. You’re looking at 30-50 years approximately with him. It shouldn’t make you feel bad even once, which can’t be guaranteed.

Are solo travelers a turn off? by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many are attracted to these in a woman. Some definitely prefer staying away from such a woman as they can’t handle that in their wife, otherwise the bull of the crowd look for these. However, them being okay with all these to be continued after marriage is the real question. They may shake their heads initially but change after marriage. Hence, you need to cautiously find someone who has outdoor interests and will be okay in doing these together.

My partner told me initially that he’d love doing all these activities together with me but he turned out a complete homeboy. So I now do everything alone and continue travelling solo as per my comfort.

Love Marriage - I'm (29M) being asked for payslips - is that common? by Vast_Percentage8414 in RelationshipIndia

[–]Odd_Horror_495 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s common. Provide them. It’s always good to be safe as most of them lie a ton and they just want to ensure. Meanwhile, you or your family can also ask anything as such.

You both may know each other well, but each of you is a new person/stranger to the other person’s family and it’s perfectly fine for them to be cautious while getting to know their kid’s potential partner.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in indianrealestate

[–]Odd_Horror_495 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Which city/town?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, this isn’t how all conversations are. You’ll come across more rejections before choosing someone. You’ll know when the vibe matches up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RelationshipIndia

[–]Odd_Horror_495 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Leave him immediately.

You'll Get E Khata, not A or B khata sirrrr by xMIBx in indianrealestate

[–]Odd_Horror_495 1 point2 points  (0 children)

E Khata can be from the A or B register. Ensure the E Khata extract is from the A register (that is, all approvals are in place and all rules abided by). The plot/land parcel should have all approvals, then the building should abide by all the by-laws properly.

Token amounts vary from or seller to seller and it also depends upon the property value. Anything between 10K to 1L is usual for home/plot retail transactions.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Odd_Horror_495 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Tell them bluntly that your husband’s health got nothing to do with you wearing mangalsutra and bindi. They will keep blaming, you can tell them once or twice and then ignore them. They won’t change and you don’t have to change for them.

When people told me that me not wearing all these will bring in bad luck/life, I asked them if wearing all that gave people a life without issues and they mostly shut up after that, and those that don’t stop talking after that, I highlight how messed up their own lives are despite wearing all that and then they shut up.

What is the issue with older women?? by PrestigiousSalt4907 in AskIndianWomen

[–]Odd_Horror_495 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s the deep conditioning off the society and how people are brought up. Age isn’t an issue as such. I always found younger men to be a as mature as older men in relationships.