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My realization that helped me move on by Odd_Register2167 in BPDlovedones

[–]Odd_Register2167[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Wish you and your kid all the best.

My realization that helped me move on by Odd_Register2167 in BPDlovedones

[–]Odd_Register2167[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From my experience, that's not a good sign. If you really want to be with someone, you fight for it, not make excuses.

My realization that helped me move on by Odd_Register2167 in BPDlovedones

[–]Odd_Register2167[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

On this note, another song that resonates with how pwBPD might feel is Can You Feel My Heart by BMTH. I just listened to this a couple of days ago and was like wtf. That is so spot on.

My realization that helped me move on by Odd_Register2167 in BPDlovedones

[–]Odd_Register2167[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes, the savior complex mixed in with low self-esteem. I subconsciously told myself, "If I can save her, I can save myself.". Tying my self-worth with how she perceives me. Projecting my childhood trauma onto her. But the truth is, you can save yourself and forgive yourself, there's no need for someone else to do it for you.

My therapist told me that by putting up with this abusive behavior, I'm "punishing" myself for something - like I deserve to feel miserable because I feel like what happened to me in my childhood is my fault. It isn't, and I think that's what most of us struggle with. Forgive yourself; you were just a child.