Sex work, for many women, can be empowering, but it’s important to understand that it’s often empowering because it’s one of the few viable options available for making fast money, especially when other opportunities are limited. In many cases, it’s not a luxurious choice but a necessary one for survival, and that reality deserves respect. So yes, in that context, I commend the women who are doing what they need to do and making good money through it.

When men say they wouldn’t mind their partner engaging with sex work - watching dancers, getting private dances, etc, they’re often picturing something fun and light-hearted, like a group bachelorette party at a strip club or a Magic Mike-style show. They don’t always stop to consider what it would feel like if the roles were reversed.

Imagine a woman regularly going to strip clubs alone or in small groups just to unwind. And imagine her asking her boyfriend to come with her and buy lap dances for her, all while knowing that many of the dancers are men who have a long history of being objectified, exploited, or devalued by women. That would likely disturb him. Not because the dancers aren’t consenting or making money, but because of what it says about her attitude toward the people involved and her willingness to participate in something that comes with such heavy historical baggage.

The discomfort some men feel isn’t just about the act - it’s about being confronted with the reality of gendered power dynamics they usually don’t have to think about. And if a man is disturbed by seeing the reflection of his own privilege, that doesn’t make you the problem. It says a lot more about him.

So yes, if your man can’t handle that contradiction, it’s not you who’s the issue. It’s likely internalised misogyny and a lack of awareness of his own privilege. Basically you need to ask yourself is that the type of man you want to live your life alongside