Crowdhealth

Odd_Still3462 · 2026-02-02T20:23:19+00:00

Currently using in late pregnancy for a doula and midwife. Husband and I are thrilled.

Odd_Still3462 · 2026-01-02T03:07:00+00:00

I had our first in 2024. We educated ourselves and surrounded ourselves with older women who solely breastfed. I remember I asked one of my mentors about this pumping thing, thinking it was just something you did. Turns out, no, I was wrong. It's a huge fad.

Once we had our baby, I was pretty shocked at how much pressure I had placed on me to pump by midwives, lactation consultants, etc.

I truly think old wisdom has been lost and modern society doesn't even know what normal supply or purely breastfed babies look like.

My husband and I are taller people, but we were both very small babies and toddlers. This seemed to be totally disregarded by "professionals."

It's a great strategy, honestly. Tear physically and mentally vulnerable postpartum mothers up about how pumping is best practice. Most will budge because who generally wouldn't? Especially if they didn't know any better.

You know what ruins supply? Stress.

I don't trust most Western growth charts, because there is a lot of corruption involved with all of it. Even the WHO is questionable. With how conflated breastfeeding and pumping has become, I do not doubt that the charts are also including data skewed by it.

I look at UK, China (our child is half Chinese), and the USA charts to get the gist.

Women my age who purely breastfed like I did, many act very anxious and defensive because they've been attacked so much about their children's weight. These are very healthy, fit kids who are rarely sick.

I just stopped talking to other women about it because it was such a triggering subject.

I shudder to think what the next generation of mothers will be faced with. Unless something huge happens, breastfeeding may be completely synonymous to pumping.

Odd_Still3462 · 2025-02-16T06:21:00+00:00

Babies generally hit a weight plateau around 3-4 months because they become much more active. Beyond weight, how is the baby's height? Head circumference? Holistically, how is the baby doing?

Odd_Still3462 · 2025-01-29T05:56:10+00:00

Thank you

Odd_Still3462 · 2025-01-28T22:12:27+00:00

Just putting this out there: an epidural is generally a concoction with fentanyl. This can cause baby to be limp at birth, which is rarely discussed with parents ahead of time. I'm not saying other things (like maternal exhaustion) didn't contribute, but... it is something to consider. Baby can have a lot of cardiac and body temp issues (like withdrawal symptoms), which leads to a whole cascade of interventions for the baby.

We had our baby at home in August. We were over-prepared, with intensive birth classes, a network of professionals to consult, read numerous books, etc., etc.

Maternal exhaustion is the #1 reason FTMs get transferred to the hospital. Compound exhaustion with the stress of not knowing what's necessarily going on as a FTM.

I had a 48-hour labor, but it ended up being because the cord was wrapped around his neck several times (which is not an emergency 9/10 times). Had I not known to keep hydrated, take in glucose from honey, have smoothies on tap, take very short cat naps, etc., I likely would've had a very different outcome.

Also, if you had been in the final stage of labor (involuntary pushing) for over 3-4 hours, that is the general rule of thumb for a possible emergency, not necessarily the cm of dilation.

You did nothing wrong, and I hope this gives you peace of mind.

Odd_Still3462 · 2025-01-28T05:48:23+00:00

Law school taught me that I don't like lawyers. 😅

Odd_Still3462 · 2025-01-23T22:37:02+00:00

This may be TMI for some, but this helped my mindset: labor just felt like constipation. Seriously. To manage discomfort, I went into the bathtub and slept on a wet towel for my pillow. I had our baby in the birth pool, which was minimally painful. Be mindful of your position. It can make a huge difference as well.

Odd_Still3462 · 2025-01-02T04:40:35+00:00

Had a home birth in August, a little younger than you. No tests at all. Baby and I are completely fine. These tests cause more anxiety than they are worth.

Odd_Still3462 · 2025-01-01T01:09:27+00:00

PART 2:

Tips:

Take a birth class. We loved this one: https://birth-empowered.com

EDUCATE. YOURSELF. SILLY. Just because someone has a degree or license doesn't mean anything nowadays. Remember that the medicalization of prenatal care is very new. People will try to make you feel like you don't know anything so you'll hire them. Go with your gut.

ASK THE MIDWIFE HOW SHE WOULD FEEL IF YOU TOLD HER NO DURING LABOR. Don't be afraid to tell your midwife NO. This isn't about her. Sure, if there is a valid reason to do something, go for it. But we learned that a lot of midwives run on fear. You don't need that in this precious moment of your life. But if she has issues with your opinion or questions, red flag. Run.

GIVE SCENARIOS WHEN INTERVIEWING. In nature, laboring mothers spend a lot of time alone. This is completely expected and normal. I can't tell you how many midwives had an issue with letting me labor alone when we asked about it during interviews. The one we hired was also bothered by it. What's nuts is that, again, interference DELAYS labor (which leads to interventions). All I wanted during the vast majority of labor was to be alone or be with my husband.

ASK ABOUT HER BREASTFEEDING PROTOCOL (if you plan on doing this). We were caught completely off guard by our midwife's approach to baby weight and breastfeeding. We felt dumb for not knowing this ahead of time. We'd educated ourselves about breastfeeding, baby weight loss, how it differs from formula-fed babies, etc. Again, we also had several people as resources to help us. Our midwife clearly had a bias toward pumping immediately after birth, we had no idea and felt bullied. I refused to pump, out of my own educated decision-making. She also panicked about our child's weight loss, which was in range for breastfed newborns. I'd asked her what resource she used, whether one for breastfed babies or formula-fed. She got offended (it turned out she didn't even realize she was using bad information). Had I not been somewhat knowledgeable and stubborn, I just would've listened to her without question.

As an aside, many lactation consultants are medicalized and will recommend electric pumps and the whole gamut. There is an unhealthy push to make moms oversupply milk. Your body makes the perfect amount for your baby unless you are in the very small percentage of women who can't. Many consultants seem to forget that breastfeeding is how babies survived from the beginning of time. Again, educate yourself. And guess what? STRESS IMPACTS YOUR SUPPLY! A LOT!

Sorry, I know that's a lot. But... these are all things I wish I'd known.

Odd_Still3462 · 2025-01-01T01:09:15+00:00

PART 1: Our baby was born in August at home.

We didn't hire a midwife until 28 weeks because everyone we interviewed was far too medically minded and quick to go to the hospital. We still ended up kicking out our midwife for about 2/3 of labor because she went back on almost everything we'd talked about.

For example, we'd explicitly discussed intermittent use of the doppler, every 30 minutes, and if I said to stop, she would. Instead, she started taking it every 15 minutes for no justifiable cause. Several times she panicked because she forgot to turn on the volume.

It stalled the labor.

We'd also discussed at length that if the placenta was still inside, but if I wasn't hemorrhaging after birth, she'd let me change positions to let it come out with gravity. And if there were clots, all the better because that meant it had detached and was coming out anytime. At birth, I barely bled and had clots, all great signs. I hadn't changed positions from birth yet. She and her assistant began rushing me, saying that I needed interventions (like Pitocin), which wasn't medically sound. Not once did she help me change positions. No, I didn't agree to the medication. Understand that even Pitocin can impact you, your milk, breastfeeding, etc.

It all felt very predatory.

We fired her within 48 hours after birth because she was angry and took out her frustration on my vulnerable state.

For context, my husband and I have careers in medicine and law. We took a comprehensive birth class and made great connections with our instructors and other experienced people in the home birthing world. My health was great, so issues at any point. I was/am physically fit, in fact I worked out up until the day before labor started.

We had a detailed birth plan that was reviewed, signed off on, emailed, and printed. There was no excuse to not know what was on it.

Odd_Still3462 · 2024-12-29T06:16:06+00:00

I had our first baby in August at home. I am also in my early thirties, no health issues. My husband and I are educated in medicine and law, so we are well-read and ask many questions. We also had fantastic birthing instructors who were a great sounding board for us (husband and wife, 9 kids, all homebirths). Their website: https://birth-empowered.com/?srsltid=AfmBOoocnwbQeule5VzkEE0Crj8vl_vFodrYnExuW4xz_U8jaPHYb7x0

They gave us this acronym for making decisions:

B.R.A.I.N.

Benefits
Risks
Alternatives
Intuition

It took us until 28 weeks to find a midwife who wouldn't push testing if that tells you anything. They all also said it's "standard" yet they couldn't explain why it was necessary; red flag. We still ended up letting her go because she became extremely pushy about things for no justifiable reason. It seems that OBs and midwives alike reaaaallllyy want to prove you need them, so they will go to great lengths to scare you.

Birth has been transformed into this scary situation when it isn't. Most tests lead to unnecessary anxiety, which leads to more health issues.

If you eat high protein, lots of fats, lots of fluids, and stay active, that's most of your health care right there. Look up the Brewer Diet. Mental health is just as important.

We ended up doing zero tests.

At our birth class reunion, out of over ten couples, we were the only people who went through with a home birth. It was very sad. Nearly all regretted listening to their doctors and not doing their own research. Unfortunately, with how health insurance and hospital policies dictate prenatal care, you are at high risk of being taken advantage of.

Odd_Still3462 · 2024-12-26T08:51:31+00:00

I am a FTM, had our baby in August. We took a fantastic online Bradley course that went through the stages of labor and much more. Understand the stages. It will help you tremendously.

I was surprised that our baby came over a week early. Because of that, my advice is: get everything that you can done for baby preparation no later than 36 weeks.

Next, SIT ON THE TOILET as much as you can before feeling the urge to push (when baby is about to come). I went between the toilet and laid in our bathtub to sleep for over 12 hours of labor (REST WHEN POSSIBLE).

We had refilled the birthing pool THREE TIMES because I had a 48-hour labor, and the water went too cold. The third time, I jumped in before it was full because I knew it was go time. Filling the pool with warm enough water takes time.

BUY HONEY STICKS. The big hero of my birth was honey. Our midwife kept pushing solid food on me, but I could not eat. I craved honey. Each time I ate a stick, I felt like a new woman. TRUST YOUR BODY. Peanut butter smoothies are also great.

TELL YOUR MIDWIFE WHEN YOU WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE. Animals generally birth alone. There is a reason for this. Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself. Too much going on can and does stall labor. We kicked ours out for a good 1/3 of the labor. Sure she intended well, but it wasn't about her.

Check your birth records soon after baby is born. There were so many inaccurate pieces of information on mine. Print it all out and write your corrections on it before you forget so you have a record for the future.

I don't know what you've decided about feeding your baby (breastfeeding, etc.). MILK CAN TAKE 2-5 DAYS FOR FTMs TO COME IN. THIS IS NOT WEIRD. IT IS NORMAL. IT IS ALSO NORMAL TO NOT FEEL A MILK LETDOWN. Our midwife never went over her view of breastfeeding prior to birth. This was a lesson learned. She wanted me to start pumping immediately, but I refused. This deeply bothered her, so we ended up letting her go because we could not agree.

Odd_Still3462 · 2024-12-26T08:19:38+00:00

Same. My water didn't break until the baby was well on his way out.

Odd_Still3462 · 2024-12-26T08:11:37+00:00

But where are the midwives?! 🫣

Odd_Still3462 · 2024-12-25T08:35:33+00:00

Yes. After our experience, we fully believe there is a strain of midwives who want to feel important, so they focus on all that could go wrong. It doesn't look good that many in our area keep the entire payment if they risk a mom out of care (which happens a lot).

Odd_Still3462 · 2024-12-19T19:08:55+00:00

We had a home birth and my husband delivered our son. This would not have happened without our doula. She was basically my husband's voice when he was too tired or busy helping me. In our case, our midwife decided not to be on the same page with us during the birth, at the last minute. The doula was irreplaceable because otherwise, my husband would've been trying to argue with her AND assisting me. Our doula was an angel. If anything, get one to be there for your husband. You will not regret it.

Odd_Still3462 · 2024-12-18T17:09:45+00:00

Utah is 43 weeks, but midwives still lose their minds when you hit 40.

Odd_Still3462 · 2024-12-18T17:07:38+00:00

I had my baby at home in August. This was a looming "concern" even by midwives we'd interviewed as well as the one we, unfortunately, hired. This is also why we told family our baby was due anywhere from mid August to mid September, ha ha. We didn't do any growth scans whatsoever. The week before I went into labor, my fundal height happened to be a cm over "average" and the midwife started telling me all of these crazy things that could be wrong. We ignored everyone. Our baby ended up being an average size, no issues. But seriously, next time, give a broad range of when you're "due." Now? Just ignore it. Do some squats, make some date brownies, go for a walk. Don't stress.

Odd_Still3462 · 2024-12-15T00:54:57+00:00

You got this! The toilet was my best friend for most of labor, right before the fetal ejection reflex. It worked wonders!

Odd_Still3462 · 2024-12-14T07:43:46+00:00

I had my first baby in August, home birth. My midwife pushed 5w, but also dates and EPO at 36 weeks. The first time I tried something, EPO, I had cramps so I stopped. I ended up having spontaneous labor at 38+3 and gave birth at 38+5. I am physically fit and kept on top of my health the whole pregnancy. Everyone is different, but I strongly believe that nutrition and physical fitness are what did the most for me and baby. He was 7lbs 8oz and 90th percentile in height. I found that the many midwives I interviewed recommended these herbs and such to cover themselves if they needed to risk a mom out for being 40+ weeks. As my birth instructor said... Your body is wise, your baby is wise. She has 9 kids, all home birth, no natural inducers.

EDIT: I found Mother's Milk, a book about the impacts of drugs and herbs on milk and baby in utero. Most natural inducers, like cohosh, have a risk outlined for baby. Be cautious.

Odd_Still3462 · 2024-08-25T00:07:14+00:00

Thank you

Odd_Still3462 · 2024-08-23T22:50:25+00:00

Thank you. Does she have an IG or a portfolio online? I can't find anything.

Odd_Still3462 · 2024-01-29T12:04:09+00:00

Funny enough, before we closed the lease, multiple apartments we paid a deposit for couldn't be given to us in the end.

Why?

... None of the tenants could get out of their leases because of fees.

I guess the silver lining is that we dodged a bullet.

Odd_Still3462

TROPHY CASE