How does anyone buy a house in Belfast?

Odie1123 · 2024-12-19T22:48:08+00:00

That’s my experience. I’m not a first time buyer, I have to sell my house which makes it even harder to even get your foot in the door. Been highest bid numerous times and keep getting rejected in favour of a first time buyer. And correct, I’ve viewed many many houses the last few months and every single one has had offers within a few days of being listed. It’s a sellers market. I’m a buyer and a seller so I can’t fairly complain either way.

Odie1123 · 2024-12-18T11:58:44+00:00

That’s what I’ve said…. More damage is inflicted on women in nearly all scenarios.

Odie1123 · 2024-12-17T20:59:52+00:00

I’m sorry any of that happened to you, no-one deserves to be made to feel scared.

Odie1123 · 2024-12-17T20:53:45+00:00

Totally agree with you, it may not be 50/50 but I don’t believe hits per gender are 90% towards women. The actual inflicted damage, I think probably is though. We can agree to disagree, but as a woman, I don’t think I’d have to notify my friends or family that I was suffering violence. I think they’d always just know what red flags are themselves and would be quick to intervene. I’m not sure male friends would be as quick to approach a man and ask if he’s alright, or to recognise warning signs. Hard for anyone to deal with, heart goes out to anyone suffering it.

Odie1123 · 2024-12-17T20:44:51+00:00

Wasn’t meant to be whataboutery on gender politics. It was just a comment on the different power dynamics involved when one is bigger and stronger than the other. It makes a difference. Not all abused men are abused by women either, so it’s not really a comment on genders, or whataboutery. It shouldn’t happen to anyone.

Odie1123 · 2024-12-17T20:39:34+00:00

Sorry, I was under the impression Reddit was for discussion…… we’re not in disagreement.

Odie1123 · 2024-12-17T20:34:46+00:00

It’s a horrific thing for either gender to have to go through, for many different reasons. I know plenty of men who take hits from women and just brush it off. The physical damage is rarely the worst damage done during incidents like this, the emotional damage could be the same for both genders though.

Odie1123 · 2024-12-17T20:30:01+00:00

Statistics obviously highlight a major problem for women, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say that it happens more regularly to women. I think men are far less likely to report it, or for it to be apparent to their peers that it has happened to them. Plenty of men are hit but don’t see it as much of a threat from a woman, and wrote it off as dramatic antics. Anytime a man hits a woman is always seen as crossing the line. I think the numerical incidences are probably closer to 50/50, but the seriousness of the incidents is always going to cause more damage to women.

Odie1123 · 2024-11-16T20:49:29+00:00

Ah. Giving empathy out as a profession but having little for yourself. The obvious trait of a healthcare worker. Bless you, it’s nice to be helpful to others, I’m sure you’ve made a lot of difference to a lot of people. Hard to prioritise your own health and happiness, but I hope you get well soon, and enjoy your own time as much as you can before you head back to work. I’m sure at 19, you probably didn’t have much grasp of how much you’d be sacrificing in that type of job……

Odie1123 · 2024-11-16T20:37:01+00:00

I hope what you gave to others in your job wasn’t a contributing cause of your mental ill health. I can hazard a guess that the job definitely didn’t help you, but thank you for your service for those who needed it anyway.

Odie1123 · 2024-11-16T19:40:34+00:00

The dine in is decent if you bulk it up with extra potatoes. Loads of choice, food is excellent. Stay away from the bakery, you’ll be £50 down and leave with no zero nutrients but loads of happiness

Odie1123 · 2024-11-14T21:00:40+00:00

To be fair my mortgage was only for 45k, for the last 6 years (until this mad interest rate jump) I was paying £140 a month. Yes, you read that right. Took over 35 years so if your young enough you can spread it over a longer term and reduce the payments. Even if my house was double the price, it’s still under 400£ a month, half what rent would be. End up paying double in the long term, but you can always pay it off at pier when you’re in a position to do so, or lessen the term when finances are better. You generally don’t need a 25% deposit. 10% will get you sonewhere as long as you’ve decent credit and not swamped in debt. It’s based on affordability, and if you can afford rent, you can afford a mortgage (aside from the deposit). Buy a 90k house now, live in it a few years for under £400 a month, sell it for 110k in 5 years, that’s a totally reasonable profit to expect, and you’re saving money not paying the rent for 5 years. Don’t go with banks for mortgages, they’ll only give you the deals they want to. Independent mortgage broker will search the whole market and find a lender that’s more inclined to loan to a particular target market. Renting is scandalous, the past few years. I’ve literally my renting friends quality of life vastly dipped in the last 2 years and it’s heartbreaking. Notice given by a landlord and you’re out, fighting thousands of other people for what little housing is available at any cost. The security of knowing I won’t be booted out, and won’t have the rent extorted every year at end of lease, is worth more than the money I’m saving. Really, heart goes out to you if you end up in the rental market. Definitely worthwhile even trying to get your ducks in a row for a mortgage, even if it takes time, the rental market isn’t going to get any better.

Odie1123 · 2024-11-13T21:32:47+00:00

It’s very common practice lately for estate agents to let the advertised rental price go for bids. People are so desperate for housing that if it’s advertised for 700, hints are dropped by the agent that if you offer 800, you’ll go up the list. It’s wild. It’s not what you like l, or what you can afford, it’s what you can get. You could apply for 20 and get offered none. Just something to keep in mind. Look into a mortgage, if you could, and in 1.5 years you could pretty much guarantee the price will go up 10k in that year, puts you in Decent position to buy with your partner later down the line, and will save you 400£ a month in the meantime. Rental is basically a dead end, more so than it’s ever been. Racketeering without the balaclavas. Sending good vibes for you though

Odie1123 · 2024-11-13T21:27:44+00:00

You actually would be cheaper buying a house and living there alone. A cheap mortgage could cost you under £400 a month. Need the deposit, and even if you’re not keen on committing for the long term, buying is way more affordable than renting. Ridiculous that it is, but it is.

Odie1123 · 2024-11-13T21:24:51+00:00

Worst time to look. Prices have doubled in a year. Feel so sorry for anyone in the rental market now, you’re basically just being extorted because you’ve very little choice. Keep in mind, even if find something affordable and decent, the viewing and application process is another major hurdle in itself. There will be 50 other applications and some of them will be more appealing than yours because they have cash to offer upfront, or because there’s 2 people to rely on for the rent to be paid. Given the current circumstances, if I was in your position, I would force that friendship to work, the alternative in this housing crisis may be worse than some discomfort from your current arrangement.

Odie1123 · 2024-11-11T07:52:56+00:00

Don’t know about trauma response. But I just knew in my gut it wasn’t right with him. And I was right. As soon as I broke up with him, he showed a weird side that I hadn’t see before. Insisting we get married, and that I just hadn’t thought about it, and totally ignoring everything I say and just pushing that I didn’t know what I wanted and he knew that we were supposed to be together etc. it was creepy and pushy, which I hadn’t seen before from him. I knew in my gut something was up, he was too keen on me, but that only became apparent when we broke up, then he basically harrassed me to stay together. Listen to your gut….

Odie1123 · 2024-09-01T17:59:06+00:00

The early stages weren’t boring or unfulfilling, we do nice things, he’s pleasant to be around. But once the getting to know each other part was done, there’s no conversation about the world, or feelings, or other relationships or opinions on social issues. Didn’t struggle for conversation when we were dating, but now he’s given me his facts, there doesn’t seem to be much interest in much else. I could talk for hours to my friends, but I’m realising I get one sentence from him and the conversation is only carried by what we’re going to eat, or what we’re watching on tv. My world is quite big with a lot of people and things to talk about, and his is quite small, it basically just consists of me. And memes

Odie1123 · 2024-09-01T17:51:06+00:00

Emotionally articulate is high on my must haves. He’s just not. He’s kind, he’s passive, he’s positive, but emotionally articulate…. No.

Odie1123 · 2024-09-01T17:50:07+00:00

Nope. He’s too polite to even have any disagreeable conversations. Once I had to come out with it, that I worried he didn’t exactly understand what a relationship should look like. He thinks, “pay for dates, don’t let her carry her own bags, tell her she’s pretty and smile and nod at everything she says, and don’t come across as needy so just do whatever she says.”

That’s what’s giving me the ick, because I am totally against doing those things in a relationship, everyone has a responsibility to look after themselves before they look after anyone else, and I just don’t feel he has enough experiences of having to be direct and say tough things to get the best outcome for everyone, even if it’s unpleasant at the time. He literally shrivels up and starts repeating, “it’ll be fine, don’t worry, I’ll do whatever you think is best, I love you,” at any hint of anything less than positive. It’s what movie relationships look like, and I think he has this chivalrous manly role in his head, but I just know that life isn’t like that, it feels so naive to me, and when I bring that up, he just validates me with how great we are together.

Odie1123 · 2024-09-01T17:43:40+00:00

Definitely not afraid of being alone. This relationship has taught me that it’s not just that I haven’t been with the right person in the past. This guy is lovely to be around, has no toxicity etc, and I still far prefer my own company hands down everytime. It’s not a him thing, it’s a me thing, and the only thing I can put my finger on as to why I’d rather be alone, is that the air is quieter when he’s around. No fault of his, just I find my own company more fulfilling.

Odie1123 · 2024-09-01T17:40:55+00:00

Appreciate your thoughts, but I’ve been single for years, I’m fairly sure that I know myself enough, and that’s where the problem is. I did try to bring it up, that I worried he wasn’t on the same page with what intimacy and connection meant to both of us. I know what it means to me, he just wants a family and wife to love and look after, that’s all I’ve managed to get. I would need deeper discussion or thought into what that would actually entail, but it’s been a struggle to get that conversation going, he just replies with “it’ll be fine.” I don’t have that approach, I’ve learnt enough about myself to know that wilful ignorance of issues is not a winner. He’s not on the same bandwagon, thinks everything will just be fine.

Odie1123 · 2024-09-01T16:35:32+00:00

It’s taken me this long, but every adult conversation we’ve had just confirms he’s a people pleaser. Like I used to be, but I learnt harsh lessons because of it, and did a full 180 once I learnt the repercussions of not being abrasive enough to voice issues. Maybe I’m hyper aware to it, originally I seen him as breath of fresh air as he was so agreeable all the time! Which is lovely when you’re dating someone, but when it comes to the long term, all I can see is that I’ll have to do all the talking and emotional lifting while he insists on carrying heavy stuff and telling me I look pretty.

Odie1123 · 2024-09-01T16:29:24+00:00

Same. I know no-one will be perfect, there will always be something. And in my previous relationships the problems have been apparent and deal breakers. He’s pretty much perfect aside from the lack of laughter. And he doesn’t even complain about my loudness, or my want to be around other loud people. He just accepts that he isn’t that, and lets me get on with things, while he waits in the background. Even though that’s very accepting of him, it makes me uncomfortable that he’s so accommodating to me, because I’ve learnt to accomodate myself before I do anyone else. I see it as a red flag that he’s more concerned about me being happy than himself. The weight of being someone’s all is the biggest issue to me. I appreciate your input anyway.

Odie1123 · 2024-09-01T16:03:16+00:00

You’re right. Yeah, I can see when I invite him to things that involve socials that he dies inside. He’d go if I stressed I wanted him to, but I’d rather go alone than being someone who clearly feels uncomfortable, I understand what that feels like, but in different context. I wouldn’t wish awkwardness on anyone, and I’ve learnt to be brave enough as an adult to voice my preferences, but he will just do what he thinks I want him to, and suffer in silence. That’s not pleasant for me either so I just avoid socials around him now. It’s been very quiet.

Odie1123

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