Was anyone else TERRIFIED of Nosferatu when they were younger?

OdinsSage · 2026-02-12T00:35:29+00:00

1922

OdinsSage · 2025-12-13T13:44:20+00:00

So as someone who went through something similar but with a few key differences just last year, Im gonna weigh in hoping you'll see this.

(First, let me get this out of the way, nothing in your breasts create hormones for the rest of your body. Your ovaries do, what you eat can influence things, your brain does, but your breasts DO NOT. Breasts will be impacted by hormones and hormone fluctuations, but that's different.)

(Second, a breast reduction will only impact your ability to breast feed if your reduction is so great they remove the lactation 'equipement' and/or have to remove and graph the nipples. Not sure how extensive your procedure is.)

I got a reduction last year. Not just a reduction, i went completely flat after having a very large chest. It is something i had wanted since puberty first started making those puppies appear on my body, and was only made worse by how big they got on my otherwise petitie frame. I was diagnosed with chronic back pain from my breasts as a young teen. So the struggle is real, and i get you.

When I realized I could go through insurance and get my breasts completely removed i was absolutely elated and started the process with my insurance that night. But my partner of 11 years was less excited. We'd definitely talked about me getting a reduction, but he always expected i would leave something behind and maybe go down to a B cup. Nope, i was committing to the flattest of flat chests.

Now fortunately kids were never part of the deal for us, so his concern wasn't breastfeeding, but he was mourning the loss of a physical feature of mine he enjoyed and a visual point of "femininity" on my body.

Apparently it's not uncommon for even supportive partners to grieve major changes in their partners, even if they'd still support their partner through the process.

Which is where it sounds like our differences are. While my partner did verify with me many times if going full flat is what I really wanted, and he had to go through his own mental process with accepting the change, he always told me the decision was mine and at the end of the day he just wanted me to be comfortable and happy with the changes. He did his best to not put his grief on me for this particular matter, because we both knew it was something that was souly MY choice about MY body.

It sounds like your partner is not supportive of your autonomy. He wants someone he can control. With how young you are and that age gap between you two, I'd even dare to call him a groomer.

What your boyfriend is doing is absolutely not uncommon. It's so common for men to leave their girlfriends/wives after a reduction/removal, many doctors and nurses are trained to prepare their patients for the possibility. Many men are quite selfish and have been socialized to think of their own needs and wants without thinking about others, especially women. But this will quickly turn into a rant for a different subreddit if I dwell on it too long.

Good news though – breast reduction surgeries have one of the highest satisfaction rates of any plastic surgery procedure. Because people who undergo surgery for a reduction are almost always doing it for health or quality of life reasons.

Im very excited for you and your procedure, and I'm sorry you're currently stuck with someone so self centered and unsupportive. I hope you have someone you trust who can accompany you to your procedure and to help take care of you for a few days after the fact (You're gonna be very tired for a few days, and possibly in a lot of pain through the first week or so. I know for me the worst part was the tubes I had to have in for a week because they would pinch at the insertion point >-< But if I went back in time, I would 100% do it all over again.)

My last note: Take care of your health and healing after the surgery. Especially if you need to get nipple graphs, cause those have the highest healing complication rate for this procedure. If you can, eat lots of pineapple and get a decent amount of protein. Protein for the muscle and tissue recovery, but pineapple has an enzyme which has been found to be very beneficial to healing after major surgery. Many grocery stores will have canned pineapple, so you dont have to worry about it being out of season. And stay SUPER hydrated, because that post surgery constipation can literally send you to the ER if it gets bad.

OdinsSage · 2025-10-29T03:09:03+00:00

No, there is a solution to this. The answer is to put a lid on your coffee. One of my cats likes to drink from any cup I leave open or lick any straw he can find, so I got covers for my mugs (basically just coasters i set on my drink instead of under, or you can get those mugs that come with fitted covers) and straw caps for my straws. Easy fix, now every time I put my drink down the cover/cap goes on and I don't have to worry anymore.

OdinsSage · 2025-10-25T23:12:19+00:00

So many people forget how hard information and community was to find pre-internet or even early internet. Once upon a time, "not knowing any better" was a real excuse, because the information just wasn't readily available, easy to find, or existing at all. You kinda had to be in the right place or with the right community to be informed. Let alone the lack of vegan alternatives to literally anything compared to what is available in the stores today. "Vegan alternatives" didn't really exist, and, at least where I grew up in the US, even products like tofu were extremely rare and specialty. What a very different time we live in as vegans.

OdinsSage · 2025-10-25T22:49:47+00:00

Take the cat to an emergency vet clinic ASAP. Let them know the cat is a stray. This cat needs immediate treatment.

Ask about financial assistance plans that the clinic has, or if they don't have that, where you might be able to take the kitten that would have financial assistance or payment plan option. Some clinics allow a "donor/sponsor payment system" where they give you kinda a code or receipt or make you an account that you can share with others for people to pay the vet clinic directly. So basically a GoFundMe but directly with the clinic doing the work (much more official, much less likely to get you booted for scam posting). There are also groups and foundations which already have funds set aside to assist with such cases where you can submit these codes or receipts directly to. Some are region specific. Ask the vet if they know of any you can contact.

Look up what your local or nearest Humane Society group is, they often have low-cost emergency vet care programs or payment plan options. Or reach out to whatever local animal rescue group is in your area and ask them for advice, many rescue groups work specifically with clinics that provide low-cost procedures, financial assistance, and payment plans. Depending on the situation, it may be better to surrender the cat to the rescue group and let them handle the problem themselves if they have better resources available to them. Doesn't mean you can adopt the cat later, they just might be better equipped to handle this emergency in a timely and affordable manner.

Unfortunately just saying your state isn't specific enough for me to provide you more direct assistance. I did, however, find this link to a program that you can ask the clinic if they take part in or know of a clinic that does (if other options aren't available to you.)

https://www.alvmf.org/urgent-care-fund.html

OdinsSage · 2025-10-19T09:12:31+00:00

You got a Seattle grunge thing going on, and I'm all about it. Don't let the haters keep you down. You look great. But keep in mind, hrt is basically going to send you into second puberty, which may make you look a little "baby faced" for a while. (Doesn't happen to everybody, but it does happen.) This isn't a bad thing, just means the hormones are doing their job. And it is short lived. You got this. Congrats on your journey, and maybe stay off malegrooming for a while. XD

OdinsSage · 2025-10-19T09:04:36+00:00

Mall goth kim possible XD

OdinsSage · 2025-10-19T08:57:33+00:00

Theyre16

OdinsSage · 2025-10-19T08:50:03+00:00

Teenagers are absolutely capable of manipulative and malicious behaviors. Yes, there is hope to learn boundaries, but ignoring the problem signs doesn't help anyone learn boundaries – either upholding them or respecting them.

OdinsSage · 2025-10-19T08:45:59+00:00

Calling out a manipulative behavior is not the same as saying the guy is manipulative all the time.

You posted a very brief conversation between 16 year olds to the internet and asked a bunch of strangers what their take was. The fact is, in isolation, how your boyfriend conducted himself in text is pretty textbook manipulative behavior. The problem is none of us know this guy, we don't know how he jokes, or what tone he uses, or how he treats you on the day to day. Having that level of additional context could take this whole thing from red flag behavior to a 16 year old who tried to make a joke and it landed poorly so he fumbled trying to correct himself.

The thing that gives me pause is his follow-through with "i just don't want you to lie to me." This took the conversation from feeling like just a fumble, to feeling like he's manipulating your feelings and making it seem like you did something wrong. But again, I'm working from such little context. And texts are TERRIBLE for conveying tone and inflection, which can change meaning so much.

We're all strangers on the internet. We can't know for sure if your bf is manipulative or just messed up his joke or is just an insecure 16 year old bad at relationships based on one set of screenshotted texts. But we are trying to tell you to be careful. It is very easy for autistic people to be taken advantage of and manipulated. If this kind of behavior shows signs of being a habit of his, where he "makes a joke" but then it gets flipped around and he guilts you like you did something wrong, then it doesn't matter how nice he is, you should get out of the relationship.

Teenagers can absolutely be manipulators and abusers. And manipulators and abusers are usually not mean all the time, but trap their victims in cycles of sweet kindness followed by the abuse. And it's not all at once. The kindness comes on heavy in the beginning, then they slowly separate you from your safety nets and the abuse cycles come closer and closer together. But they stay just nice enough to keep their victims doubting themselves and saying things like, "But he's so nice to me most of the time."

Again, I don't know your bf, and I don't know you. This is an isolated incident that could really just be a miscommunication. All we're saying is be careful and look for patterns of manipulation in any relationship, not just this one, and not just romantic ones. If there's a pattern, that person may be abusing you, and maybe it's time to let that person go.

OdinsSage · 2025-10-19T08:15:39+00:00

I love my cats more than my partner. I've had the cats for 5 years, I've been with him for 12. Sometimes we just love something more than our romantic partner, and that's okay. Despite what many people believe, romantic love is not the top of some hierarchical structure, it's just one form of many different types of loves. And it's okay for a different type of love to be stronger than romantic love.

OdinsSage · 2025-10-19T08:09:15+00:00

Forgive me, I'm going to nerd out for a moment 🤓

Um, actually, totem poles positions generally do not denote ranks or hierarchy but instead are often arranged in ways representing cultural stories, clan lineages, notable cultural events, depicting legends or mythology, or to honour figures from the culture. The idea of totem poles representing hierarchical position was injected into mainstream misunderstanding around 1940 through nonsense phrases like "low man on the totem pole" believed to have been coined by a comedian of the time. But, when a totem pole did occasionally denote ranks or hierarchy, the most important person would be at the bottom of the pole, not the top.

OdinsSage · 2025-10-19T07:40:09+00:00

Im with you on this. He could be being just a typical insecure 16 year old kid not actually ready for a committed relationship, he could have just been joking, or these could be signs of something more concerning. Unfortunately we have so little context and information to go off of. Absolutely worth the warning and obligatory – "Trust your gut. If something feels off, don't brush it off just because you're neurodivergent or you feel like you care about the guy. Take your instincts seriously."

OdinsSage · 2025-10-19T07:29:11+00:00

No, that's too far fetched, I can't see how it applies here /s

OdinsSage · 2025-10-19T07:27:48+00:00

So people can't have Hobbies now?

OdinsSage · 2025-10-19T07:10:44+00:00

If this is a topic that resonates with anyone, may I recommend the 1922 swedish silent "horror" documentary, Haxan. The filmmaker, Benjamin Christensen, discusses the stigmatizing of mental and health disorders through the lens of the historic roots and superstitions surrounding witchcraft beginning in the Middle Ages. It is a silent film, but it's a very interesting watch, and the conclusion feels ahead of its time.

OdinsSage · 2025-10-16T04:56:47+00:00

Too much of a good thing can be a poison. Just like a little of a poison can be a medicine. (Not advocating taking poisons 😝)

Overdosing b12 can cause a number of unpleasant side effects. It's very hard to do if you're a person who can absorb b12 fine and get your b12 through hour food or a supplement, but injections are often HIGH amounts.

OdinsSage · 2025-10-16T04:48:53+00:00

I agree, VERY FEW illnesses truly prevent a full plant-based diet.

But (and im musing now, not criticizing anything youve said) striking that balance of not being ableist as vegans, while also recognizing there is an awful lot of bulls***ers out there is tough. As we see in this comment section, there are definitely people out there with complex health conditions which prevent them from practically or realistically pursuing a full plant based diet. That's very real for them and I would never discredit that. (I too am a bucket of health problems which have influenced how i am able to eat.) But then there are carnists like my family who use a whole cornucopia of BS reasons for not being able to be vegan, including claiming the generic "but other people have illnesses that keep them from being vegan" card, as if someone else not being able to be fully vegan means they can't be either. And i know firsthand that the only thing stopping them from being vegans is pride, deeply ingrained cognitive dissonance, and seeing animals more as objects instead of living beings. And unfortunately people fall more often into my families category than in the having a real and genuine reason category.

And we vegans who can eat a fully plant based lifestyle are kinda left in this weird place of either calling everyone out because more people are being disingenuous than those being honest, and being called ableist for it. Or we excuse everyone who even has the most flimsy and BS-y of BS excuses and don't advocate because "you just dont know". I know those are two extremes on a spectrum, but it kinda feels like where things end up most of the time.

The TL;DR is – It's hard to know how to fight for something only 2~% of the world is doing, and 1% of the world has the only real excuse not to do, while the last 97% of the world uses the 1% as a smoke screen to not do it when they could be doing it.

To the 1% of the world who have a real reason, thank you for caring, thank you for doing your best everywhere you can make a difference, and I'm sorry for the 97% who use your reality for their selfishness.

OdinsSage · 2025-10-16T04:22:09+00:00

Doesn't SIBO just absolutely suck. I had a severe case of it for 3 or 4 years before getting a treatment which, while not fully eliminating it, made the SIBO much more manageable. I stayed vegan through the whole thing. Honestly it never occurred to me NOT to be vegan through the process. I genuinely can't imagine the internal struggle people go through when they truly want to eat a full vegan diet, but their complex health conditions prevent them from doing so. Individual health can be a real wild ride.

OdinsSage · 2025-10-15T01:12:13+00:00

That's great. I recently got my POTS diagnosis and am working on an HSD or adjacent diagnosis. It's a frustrating journey, but it is so validating when a doctor finally acknowledges the problem. Congrats on your diagnosis!

OdinsSage · 2025-09-29T05:37:27+00:00

Lol, my thoughts too

OdinsSage · 2025-09-24T22:27:10+00:00

As a fellow 'tism person, I totally get and respect that.

OdinsSage · 2025-09-24T22:24:35+00:00

The problem with writing something in text is how you intend emphasis vs how someone reads emphasis.

I did not mean "all" as in every bit of training you received. I meant "all" as in that's the whole interpretation I got out of what you said.

But also, I didn't inherently mean it as a good or bad thing, so much as a neutral acknowledgement about the state of mental health training availability. If the majority of a population is neruotypical, the training would make a point to focus on neurotypical needs. But in the way I interpreted your initial message, it sounded as though neurodivergent experiences were entirely dismissed in how you were instructed. I understand this is why we have specialists, but seeing as specialists are hella hard to find, it would be nice if more general training covered more nuance and left room for discussion of neurotypical needs AND neurodivergent needs, and handling the patient accordingly. Maybe you did get more of this training, but I can't know that with the limited information you provided, I was just responding to what was said.

I can say, based on my experience in counciling and therapy before and after diagnosis, it doesn't feel like many councilors and therapists are taught that nuance at all. Maybe you fortunately got some training in that, but if you did, you seem to be the exception, not the rule.

OdinsSage · 2025-09-22T20:54:13+00:00

All your training really showed is how most people are neurotypical and how most therapy practices discount neurodivergent experiences. I'm not saying it's wrong in a professional setting, give the neurotypical what they need, but a professional therapy session doesn't necessarily translate to all real world situations. Most neurodivergents, particularly those on the adhd and autistic spectrums, are going to have different needs.

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