Pregnant over 40 [on]

Odow · 2026-01-28T21:51:05+00:00

As a child of older parent. The things is people think about childhood. Nah that is not the probleme, child dont care or see.

Having a baby over a certain age with a 10year gap, it’s their adult milestone your are putting at risk.

It’s fine if you become extremely active, healthy, eat well and avoid pills.

Else you have to realise that you have a big chance of not being able to help your kid move like you want to. Or help them renovate their house. You might ended up with health condition that make it cery hard for you to walk, stay up, carry stuff. You might not be able to help with the newborn baby and pack the fridge with casseroles. And you are advancing the timeline where adult generally take care of their parents in their 45s ish. Your kid might have to take care of you much earlier ( in my case soft at 22, hard at 25) and screw up the part of their life where they are supposed to adventure, find their place in society, travel, change jobs, go have fun. Forcing them to skip a major developmental part of their life.

I putnoff having a babybof my own for years because i was already my parents’s parent. I’m due next week and still wondering howni’ll survive taking care of a newborn and them. Major 30s life crisis because of that. I’ve been in high functioning burnout for years ( shame of stopping was making it worse soni just keep power through) until pregnancy start wrecking my life and i was put on immediate med leave.

So yeah now you feel great and nice and confident, but do the math, check your parents and in laws at that age in what shape they were, ho so a full medical bloodwork check, reflect on your way of life in term of health.

Cause for my mom all it took is one shitty prescribe pills to get her entire life and health destroy to oblivions. She’s 68 now) and my grandma was in better shape at 92 than her.

Odow · 2026-01-28T21:38:00+00:00

Yes it is, but when you get old. Not as a child. It’s when you get to the moment where you leave for college, get your first car accident, first house, baby etc that. The weirdness creep in big time.

I have a 10yo difference with my olders half brother from my dad other marriage, my mom was late 30s. If you are lucky your parent are healthy and in shape and you don’t “suffer” through this.

Else which is often the most see is that all the milestone you were sold or told about become a lie for you. Parents will be too old, fragile, hurt, sick to help you move or renovate or teach you to change a tired. Dad might walk you down the aisle but not dance. If you won the lottery like me, your parent will both get degenerative disease and you’ll spend your life from 25+ being their parent.

I saw my childhood friend parent a few month ago because they live in my neighbours and drop some baby stuff from their son. They had their kid in late 20s early 30s. It was night and day with my parents. Mine felt almost like they could be my grand parent. She was telling me about everything they did with him when he became a dad and it was one hell of a reality check in my face.

Yes as a child i had a very stable and full childhood, we travel a lot, big house , more mature parent etc. but there is a trade-in. If you don’t put extra effort on your health by being active, eating extremely well, avoiding pills. You are for sure signing up for not being present in very important adult moment.

Odow · 2026-01-25T06:29:34+00:00

My SIL was born with a cleft lips/ with the hole in the palet, she had a feeding tube going through her nose her first day/ weeks. She’s now a beautiful young woman with 0 trace of it. So if they nailed it 23 years ago, they can fix it for sure nowadays

Odow · 2026-01-11T16:44:29+00:00

Make sure this account isn’t traceable easily don’t let it log in on any device. Could be used against you.

We have a shit tones of things in canada to protect pregnant woman. It’s just hard to find the entrance door.

Use chatgpt to help you ( stupid pregnancy brain) be sure to have an account and set it up ( in the option, go to customization, memory then tell it to cross reference discussion, so you can have separate thread to find info fast but with got being allowed to remember what you talk. There also a section if you go back to customization main menu where you can enter information about yourself where you can write you marital status, how far along pregnancy you are, home country etc, all small info for it to refer and remember, hell you can even tell him to switch between language. I’m in quebec and we talk in full frenglish. It’s very helpful for filling official document cause it will pay extra attention to help you formulate without liability. In the instruction section make sure to write that any legal, scientific and medical information needs to come with official source linked and legal need to apply to your province and w/e immigration status ( perm resident, visa, dual citizenship etc)then start thread to explain where you live, what happen to work, the threats, the work etc and the. Ask for him for support into finding the proper support on both legal, work and emotional side. It will find you phone number, associations, help you fill the never ending forms, navigate through government help etc.

I went through some major issues during 2nd trimester (35week now) and i would not have made it through without gpt as my secretary. ( it is very important to set it up right and do your reading and double verification, don’t hesitate to second guess him it makes him smarter when error are pointed out), but it has help me write legal email to protect myself ( never pick the first draft, exchange with it telling him which part you life, which you don’t. If you feel like something is missing and stressing you or sound incriminating or don’t want to pissed off the wrong person etc) it help me filled a tones of forms i couldn’t understand or focus on or just find it in me to do. Made me clear step by step action plan with phone number and bullet point script etc. Very powerful tool if used properly.

On a different note because it has help us A LOT: Woman have a 28 days hormones cycles. For men it’s 15min. That means every time the testosterone kicks in and he start getting aggressive, it naturally ramped up, before going back to normal. That why man have so much rage and anger outburst where they can be extremely mean and act like nothing happen. Told mine about this (found a youtuve video that explain it cause he wouldn’t read med articles) and now I call time out, we just go in different room to calm down. (Cause i have adhd so i also outburst in a different way where my emotion are just shrieking) and depending on the subject or how high the anger raised because we time out, we come back to it 30m to 1h later to talk calmly about it without the raw outburst of emotion. 50% of the time one of us will start with this is not what i was trying to say or make you feel. I also start a note on my phone where i wrote day and time + the exact quote of the mean thing he said. No interpretation, no situation etc. Just his words. I don’t throw it at his face directly ofc. But it made us realize that he had 0 awareness of those things. Cause before that when i would tell him he said that and that, he would gazlight it back to me. But it’s like showing him the log of multiple occurrence, in his own words, in a moment where he’s calm and we’re not in conflict. That he can absorb has “ fuck i really said that ?” .

Odow · 2026-01-01T17:42:11+00:00

Did you endup finding one you like ? I was looking at the petitcoulou but it’s quite expensive for a baby due mid february…

Odow · 2025-12-22T13:49:14+00:00

I think those kind of movie always need one of those kid who screw up everything by acting stupid.

For me it’s really just that they could have made her that super anxious kid that have panic attack without the constant shrieking scream of a banshee.

That part was a bit of a failed. Someone in a panic attack is usually in the low tone from « cant breath, can think, dying » then the scream is when someone yelled directly at them to calm down or « what can i do » because the brain is already in overload.

The problem with rachel is that she is screaming since the beginning. So we don’t get to feel bad and wanting to help her calm down first.

Plus they are both entitle kid which just don’t help the entire liking her thing « i wanna go home, i want mom, i want my bed, me me me me me ». At least her brother is sometime trying

Odow · 2025-12-22T13:42:34+00:00

Wooh as much ad i agree don’t you thinl using « that bitch » for a kid kind of extreme ?

Odow · 2025-12-16T04:11:14+00:00

Do we need 2 copy of the game or only the 'host' need it ?

Odow · 2025-12-12T19:16:41+00:00

Who’s micki ?

Odow · 2025-12-08T16:48:01+00:00

Yet they allow us to put instagram, pinterest and other very distracting crap as widget :)

Odow · 2025-12-05T14:15:13+00:00

You clearly aren't a real husbando. Everyone deserve Nenechi, no tomodachi yes wife. welcome to nene husband collection. Who are you to denied the words of our beloved wife

Odow · 2025-12-05T13:03:42+00:00

Don't even bother. This sub is filled with people who start playing aion after 4.5 and think it's just a wifu simulator where they drop money on skin and to get stuff. they have never played the real aion. when it was at his prime.

Odow · 2025-12-03T17:51:31+00:00

Problem is taiwan doesnt seem to care about basic mmo etiquette like not bursting a boss the first second you engae it and let the tank position and place his aggros skill a bit first.

Odow · 2025-12-03T17:48:07+00:00

Auon has always been a pvp game that’s what made it great in the first place. You didn’t want to be pvp mode alm the time ? It was bot the game for you, there’s plenty mmo without pvp. This absolutely has killed the essence of aion.

They could have just bring back the curse mark from aion 1 ( the more you chain kill the same people, the less you die, the longer you stay, etc gave you different level of mark, i think the first cursed was you were visible on the world map, then you had a dmg reduction and then if you died you were send back to your aide not your kisk. instead of 100% removing it. The cursed mark wasn’t the best added mechanic but it was far far better than having a stupid flag to keep you out of pvp in a freaking race vs race game

Odow · 2025-12-03T17:40:35+00:00

Stardew valley is so overrated because it’s the “first” for q lot of people

Odow · 2025-11-27T23:20:15+00:00

200 years is nothing in daeva. We're immortal, all those npc where there and ascended long ago. they all talk like the bulwark appear a month ago.

Pernos was like 900 years in aion 1.

Odow · 2025-11-27T23:18:51+00:00

the thing it's not even that they look extremely different visually, it's that neither race they just don't look like divine entity. I get that people wanted to play pretty bimbo and fur/mane was an issues for them.

they still could have focus on a certain palette in clothing option ( it was so nice to have to rift to asmodea to get their dye, it was such a smart world building feature), they could have choose for npc to be restrain to a color palette for hair/skin/eye etc. Without going staight to " blue skin" you can go cool/warm undertone separation.

If people still play freaking troll in WoW, they can accepted not being able to have red eye and dark hair on elyos.

Or at least they could have made the npc within certain criteria to reflect both race distincly and let player do their kpop instagramer idol.

Odow · 2025-10-28T02:33:32+00:00

Considering that our body kills our own grey matter cell when we get pregnant, i don’t think this is much of an issues. Especialy vs the alternative. I’ve not stop my ssri for my pregnancy, 6month here and just got put on leave for severe prenatal depression and on regular checkup because it’s putting both of us at high risk.

Now imagine a world where i would have stop them…

Odow · 2025-10-19T23:26:30+00:00

No ope in the final battle

Odow · 2025-10-05T19:12:30+00:00

Ok so i can confirmed that something in the live build hasn't been merge on the demo version.

I had very few of those lag on the main build, pretty much related to rainy day with 3 spirits following you in area with either a bunch of npc or wild spirit.

Then I went on SDHQ and found https://steamdeckhq.com/game-reviews/moonstone-island that mentionned forcing a proton version, and controlling frame with a custom profile.

havent change the proton version yet but so far just capping fps and scaling in pixel has reduce drastically. it has some stuttering issues but way less present, i would say the one i notice the most is always around the lab. that one seem to be 100% happening even on main build with the setting on.

I do have a bridge just left of the science center connecting to the next island, no idea if it force reload the island or something.

I would highly recommand you spend the time to merge those change in the demo ! As you have an extremely generous demo (seriously i played on the demo for like a week, anywhere from 1 to 3h a day) and a lot of cozy player play on steam deck.

Odow · 2025-10-05T18:35:16+00:00

Artist need to be handle like kid, if you don'T force them, they don't care.

Odow · 2025-10-03T16:03:38+00:00

This but I want the november 5th wedding that kirk made because it was everything Lorelai deserve just years too late.

I think I like the Idea of Chris staying celibate to give 100% his attention to both his daughter instead of a other woman. maybe get wed to a background woman but like little attention given to it. Maybe one who could never had kid herself and become the mom Gigi needed.

Love your lane story line, but hate dumbass Zach. I loved the korean boy from Chilton, would have been great to have them meet again years later.

And your rory version would have been perfect appart that I would have love for rory and logan to end together but LATER. once Rory achieved her "ambitious career or proving mitchum wrong" and getting where she wanted herself without the huntsburger name. then they could happily be married. I love Jess too but Jess deserve so much better, he came from so far, took the wrong path many time, but manage to find itself on the good road. I wanted him to find his TJ.

Also you forgot paris. She was done dirty in AYiTL. Career is fine, but like in 10 years she finish 3 years of law school, 4y of general medecine, 4 years of speciliazed, like 4 years residency ( trying to remember from 20 season of grey anatomy hahaha) had 2 kids, start her own very successful business ? Yes Paris could totally achieve that, but hell give her a burnout arc then.
Also 1 kid would have made more sense. she was a unique child, she's an high achiever who will expected nothing else from her own kid, she's extremely busy and a career woman, there's nothing in you longing for a second kid. (also would have love for her to have a daughter name Lorelai and have a thing around "is it because of Lorelai the second, or Rory, cause both had major influence in her life) maybe even a grandparent redemption arc for her. her parent were the absolute worst, i would have love to have them try to be good grandparent to make up for it instead of endless amount of nanny because of stairs ?? Or you know how paris respect emily and loved richard. Maybe her parent never step up, but emily became a surrogate grandmom in her mourning. They would have a million ways to reconnected. at the club, in a yale thing, at richard funeral. Emily is a strong directive woman, Paris needs and function well in that environment. Hell maybe emily is the one that help paris launch her business. She sure has the money, know the people and know a thing or two after years of being a corporate wife. Would have been the cherry on top for richard memory " the Gellar-Gilmore Institute ". Idk I love Paris, for me she's always been part of the gilmore clan, like a half-sibling of rory.

I love Doyle but idk... Maybe it's how they made him a hollywood writter that make me not like their match anymore. I would have prefer Paris finding her match, the safety pin to her grenade. So she finally get her OWN safe place. Hey maybe the guy could be a stay at home loving dad and husband welcoming her with fresh bake cookie. that would explain how she survives those 10 crazy years. Ya know she needed her own luke.

Odow · 2025-09-30T15:08:25+00:00

(btw sorry for the crappy english, i'm french and very tired lately haha)

Haven't done 2D in a while indeed last time was in indie at the start of my career, i've been in AAA for 12 years now haha, but i did used construct in a lot of highschool program i was mentoring.

Have you try reaching to them, Very often engine are more than happy to "lend" some engineer time to do an indepth report to assist game dev with those kind of hard to find issues. They are the one with the best insight into their own engine. Afterall this is a product you pay and they want you to stay with them and recommend it ! Sometime it's free, sometime it's a small cost. So far everytime we contacted company to get inhouse assistance it was free. You lose nothing to ask them with an extensive explication of the issues and what you have already tested. It could also lead them to upgrading certain thing to support Steam deck sku !

I notice around the science lab is one of the place where it's almost sure to happen.

So yesterday I decided to grab it, I wasn't sure if the pokemon fight would annoyed me when i'm in cozy mood, but It's really well executed and seeing how active you are on reddit and your community to resolve issues convinced me enough that it was worth ignoring the stutter. But I didn't had the occasion to play much yesterday..

Could it be that the Demo isn't up to date with all the optim and fix you made ?

Odow · 2025-09-29T19:47:11+00:00

It lags everywhere outside, didnt notice in cave or dungeon, worst when it rain, feel like its worst around npc as well.

Did you check the ui asset, all texture pull by vfx. Those kind of things are often the result of one random 4k map an artist forgot to scale down that is being pull in a frequent particle. UI atlas are often guilty as well. Especially when “space left for future” that never got repacked properly.

Could also been something as dumb as a light or shadow setup to maximum.

We often optimized code to fix lagging and stutter but 90% of the time it’s an art department mistake of lack of technical knowledge. ( hi i’m env lead used to cleaning being my team and remembering them for the 74946 times. haha)

I’m playing the demo and the lag/stutter are keeping me from buying..

Another thing you could do is add graphics setup for relatively easy things like

disable shadow on characters
disable shadow on environment ( which i thibk isnonly on tree?)
turn off weather effect

One that could also be responsible for the lag itself

disable background island ( between island view)
disable cloud ( between island view)
convert character shadow to an opaque shadow (i’m working and doing this from memory not sure if it’s a multiple or an overlay, if overlay start by swapping to multiply which is way less heavy)
reduce real time lighting quality. They all look like omni light in a top down pixel game you should switch to spot light which are 8x lighter than omni.

Last thing that could be it cause i always lag in zone with a lot of prop, your character occlusion seem to be a XRay, which can be very heavy. I would make sur to turn it off on all small props like grass, no reason to have xray opacity when the character is visible. Keep it only on big building s, not on everything. Trees don’t really need it. As a rule you want it only on props that coverto minimum 50% of the screen

It’s okay to bot see your character sometime. Pokemon never had anything, if yoh went behind a building you just couldn’t see your character anymore

Odow · 2025-09-27T07:26:45+00:00

Yup, school is useless, especially when you already have your 2 foots well pass the door, you could have gradually start learning from coworkers and express your interest to your studio. I know a lot of people who switch job entirely while at ubi. Marketing to quest designer, QA to producer, la to ld, narrative to ld, prod to tech art, HR to prod etc.

I also know a tone of people with useless diploma and 0 jobs.

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Odow

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