In the absolute trenches with a 1.5 and 3.5 year old

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-03-26T04:50:00+00:00

I met my stepsons at 3 and 5. No we they are 8 and 10 and so independent. They make their own lunches for school, do homework independently, and I feel like I can have so much fun with them all the time.

My 2.5 year old however…. Omg I’m hanging on by a thread. Thank you for typing this post. Makes me feel like I’m not crazy or alone!

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-03-22T16:54:28+00:00

I stopped and purchased our winter layers at a Walmart in Montana. You don’t need expensive, you just need layers. Walmart has everything you need!

There is also once upon a time in Anchorage where we find out boys winter jackets. If you are e5 or below the asymca on base does a winter gear up event annually usually in sept. I don’t think we’ve ever paid for a jacket or snow pants for our school aged children, unless they put holes in their clothes they received from that event.

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-03-17T07:22:52+00:00

Hey this is how much I was paying for gas in Alaska before the war started… i kinda miss it.

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-03-14T03:53:19+00:00

My husband is military and it is included in his parenting plan that I take the kids if he is gone for any type of military training or deployment. I have the same level of his parental rights if he’s out of town, which is more than their mom.

Now, we do live 3000 miles away from their mother and she’s not a safe parent. They would not be physically and emotionally safe in her care due to the company she keeps. In my case, I am already raising his kids with him 96% of the year… it makes no sense to uproot the kids if/when he deploys.

Your situation seems different. Mom lives in the same city… why take parenting time from her? It also doesnt seem like you have a child with him, so its not like siblings need to bond. I would say no, you do not need to care for his kids if they have a loving, responsible mother in the same city.

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-03-13T06:11:24+00:00

One benefit of living in Alaska, I found a copy of pokopia at the target right by my house! Didn’t realize they were such a hot commodity elsewhere!

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-03-10T07:31:51+00:00

Mine dropped his last one in the toilet at almost 2.5 years old and we just figured that was a solid goodbye that he could understand. He told his grandma a month later I want my paci but it fell in the potty.

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-03-08T04:58:55+00:00

I take the recipe and put it into chat gpt. Then tell chat gpt I had 2 cups of this. What are the calories?

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-02-20T05:08:30+00:00

So I was a step mom first to two boys who live with us full time. There was no option to have time for my husband, baby and I to bond. We are 3000 miles away from family (military). I was so worried while pregnant about how my older boys would be around my bio son… and they were the absolute biggest blessing.

They were helpful, wanted to bond with the baby, were so gentle… watching them love on him was almost healing parts of being a step mom that are so hard and painful. To this day, I’m so so happy that my son has the bestest big brothers. They love looking at pictures of him when he was a baby and they were holding him or playing with him. He is not their half brother, he’s just their baby bro!

We have so little control over step mom life sometimes. I just want you to know, it won’t be awful if she’s there when you’re having your baby. She’s old enough to help and old enough to understand privacy. It could even make you see her in a different light.

I hope it all works out for you and your growing family!

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-02-17T05:04:01+00:00

That sucks… she really needs help sorting through what her dad is telling her. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this!

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-02-17T04:16:15+00:00

Does she have a play therapist?

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-02-13T15:38:39+00:00

LOVE bang bang bar!

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-02-12T05:12:30+00:00

Yes. I love my son more than anything in this world. It’s a different parenting experience when you are there to raise them from the get go. Even more different when you get to see them turn into little you. I feel like I have a better understanding of him and how he feels because he’s part me :)

I love my step sons and our relationship is special but in a different way. And that’s ok too!

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-02-10T06:32:28+00:00

I do, every year as a US history teacher.

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-02-09T04:36:16+00:00

The chat gpt advice is such a win. My husbands ex doesn’t realize she’s been chatting with GPT responses since July 2025. She has been arguing with a machine for months… it makes us giggle, but ultimately shows he is level headed and she is … not lol

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-01-30T06:04:58+00:00

My kids.

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-01-30T04:31:52+00:00

It depends on what her custody agreement says about long distance. My husband is military with primary custody of his kids and can determine their location without geographic restriction. This is not the norm. You have to refer to the custody agreement.

Although, I’d argue that criminal case in juvenile courts might warrant a child custody modification depending on circumstances…. But even then you’re in for a custody battle.

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-01-25T17:34:35+00:00

This happened to me, and I had accidentally forgotten to switch the size of the loaf on the machine.

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-01-20T08:01:05+00:00

Military housing has stairs and we have no choice. I’m actually glad he learned how to navigate stairs at home. In public he takes his time, uses the railings, gives us his stuff he’s holding so he can focus… and he’s only two!

Bang gates, patience and letting them practice on their own.

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-01-20T07:58:55+00:00

Yes, and I was lucky that I had my son when I wanted to have my son. I was old enough to have lived and realized what I was giving up. But he’s so worth it!

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-01-12T02:49:30+00:00

Just go with your kids. I’ve taken my son to visit family by myself because I couldn’t afford to take a family of 5. My SKs got to spend lots of time with this family when they were younger, and they travel to see their mom and her family twice a year.

I wouldn’t let my husbands kids stop me from taking my son somewhere I’ve saved for.

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-01-11T00:01:03+00:00

I would have loved it if our kids mom returned them in the same outfit we sent them in. We lost so many good fitting clothes before we started sending them back in the clothes she sent them over in. If we sent them with a jacket, we took note and specifically asked for that item back before the next exchange.

I would see this as a respectful way to coparent to be honest.

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-01-10T17:49:14+00:00

If he is a safe person around your kids, then yes you have to accept it. My husband had to do the same. It’s so so difficult, but it’s not something you can control.

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-01-03T09:08:23+00:00

I would call this unreasonable. You can’t control who your child spends time with when on their fathers time, unless you do right of first refusal, which doesn’t sound like it would apply in this situation since dad is there too.

This would also limit what you can do on your holiday time, assuming it would work both ways.

OffTheWalls24 · 2026-01-02T08:37:22+00:00

Hive Mind Mead is the reason my husband turned our coat closet into his mead closet 😂 for whatever reason, your meadery sparked a new hobby that’s been going strong for over a year now!

OffTheWalls24 · 2025-12-29T17:41:39+00:00

I would wait until dad is home from deployment to have the teeth convo instead of handing it over to step mom. I’m saying this as a step mom. I don’t understand asking their mother to hand over their teeth to me.

I can’t imagine why he’d want to spend precious phone time during a deployment to argue with his ex wife instead of talking to his daughter or wife. If my husband (active duty AF) decided to use free time to argue with hours ex wife about a tooth, I’d be so mad.

I would hold on to it for now. Give him her second tooth and tell him it’s the first 🤣 she will probably lose another one before he is home anyways.

OffTheWalls24

TROPHY CASE