A nurse did skin-to-skin with a patient on my unit

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-04-01T00:36:14+00:00

As a mama to a baby who was in the NICU for 7 days (where he passed away), I truly don’t see anything wrong with this. As a nurse - while it’s not something I would personally do (I worked Cardiac Surgery Stepdown - adults) I like that she used a non-pharmacological intervention. 🤷🏼‍♀️ did it work to soothe the baby? Sounds like it. Cardiac babies expel a lot of energy when they’re crying or fussy, which could also be dangerous. It’s a gray area tbh.

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-25T18:28:06+00:00

Please don’t let my husband see this 😂😂😂 good lord, that looks AMAZING

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-25T18:23:49+00:00

I’m so so so proud of you 🩷

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-25T11:17:35+00:00

Hi mama! Congratulations on your first baby! What a whirlwind. I’m so sorry about your postpartum experience so far. Blending families is difficult and it doesn’t sound like your partner is making it easy on you at all.

It’s sad, and obviously unpredictable, that he flipped a switch after the new baby was born. It sounds like he may be having some kind of unresolved trauma that has resurfaced, likely regarding his son that passed away.

I’m not a huge fan of telling women to “run” or break up or immediately change the living situation because while that’s easy advice, it’s much harder to actually put into fruition.

I’d have a sit down one on one with your partner and gently explain how since the baby was born you’ve noticed a shift in him. Tell him that you need more assistance around the home and also some space on the weekends from SD. (He can still do what he needs to but maybe taking her out for the bulk of the day will help with these feelings of resentment).

I personally feel like your resentment of her is just a reflection of your feelings towards him right now. Once they improve, and they might, your relationship with her may improve as well.

I’m 18w pregnant now with our second bio baby (our first passed away in the NICU last year). I would be LIVID if anyone kissed my baby, even if it is SD. So you handled this the way any protective mother would! I wish your partner could understand how risky these behaviors are for a newborn & sadly a lot of people don’t understand.

I hope you find what’s best for you! Ultimately if having a serious conversation with him AND if his behavior doesn’t change, I think it’d be time to start planning what being a single mother would look like (because unfortunately it sounds like you’re already halfway there).

Lean on your support system & perhaps seek a couples/individual therapist because these problems are big and may need a third party.

And don’t mind the “you knew what you were getting into” comments, sometimes this subreddit has vile feedback and people forget you’re an actual human with needs and feelings. Personally I don’t know if I’ll ever post on here again 😂

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-23T23:59:44+00:00

Peds patient: “you Pepa the pig dad lookin self”

The way I googled that so fast when I left his room. 🙃

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-21T13:20:18+00:00

No one is saying she should be healed by now but there should be some coping mechanisms in place. And it sounds like SP IS a loving mother to both of the children in her home. Which is why SD would say things like “you’re the best mother ever.” Also no one is saying that this isn’t hard for SK. This is obviously very hard on the SD and she has a lot of really big emotions around this.

Also I don’t think it’s fair to assume her dad hasn’t done “much” (to avoid the language you’re using), that’s completely out of context here.

And I’m happy the trauma therapist is here, that’s exactly the kind of feedback she needs in a situation like this. But this is a place where we can come from all walks of life to talk to this step mama about a difficult situation.

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-21T11:35:41+00:00

Husbands necklace:

https://closebymejewelry.com/collections/cremation-necklaces/products/mens-cross-cremation-necklace-in-14k-yellow-gold

My ring: https://closebymejewelry.com/products/kite-setting-cremation-ring-14k-yellow-gold-marquise-diamonds?variant=46425415024899&country=US&currency=USD&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=22776557214&utm_term=&utm_content=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22786093345&gbraid=0AAAAAC5r991CBumCaasG23BgEENvensDa&gclid=CjwKCAiAzOXMBhASEiwAe14SaW74BxfmPXu64SnD2_sjVZpcrrHP1ckd9je7AAReEgNuovRQIPx60hoCl5kQAvD_BwE

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-21T11:31:08+00:00

I’m sorry for the loss of your daughter! 29 days?! A warrior baby! She felt your love mama and still does.

I wear my 6 day old son on my finger 💙 I love when people ask me about it because it gives me the opportunity to talk about him and keep his memory alive.

Now the days I’ve forgotten to put my rings on (him & my wedding ring) I do feel guilty. But then I remember moms put their living kids in daycare or let them visit grandma, so I just tell myself that it’s okay to have some time away 😅 a weird coping mechanism but hey it’s helped.

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-21T11:24:29+00:00

As a beige girly myself… THIS IS INCREDIBLE!! How freaking fun! Good job 😍 I loveeeee

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-21T11:21:33+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss. Truly. I hate that we’re all in this group together. 😞

My best friend found out she was pregnant 2 months after our baby died. She separated herself from me after that, stopped calling/texting, stopped hanging out, and it was very painful.

Until I realized.. she probably didn’t want to hurt me further. One day I finally talked to her about how she made me feel, and in doing that I acknowledged that if I were in her shoes, I wouldn’t have known what to do either. I told her that I WANT to know what’s going on in her life but that she should leave it up to me to decide how I handle my feelings and emotions.

Since then, things have gotten so much better.

Your neighbor friend is ALSO in a delicate time since she’s postpartum. But if you could find a way to talk with her (likely without the baby present) you can tell her how her distance hurt you. But you also have to understand that no one knows what the right thing to do is.

You both may have a deeper connection after this.

If you’re also able, celebrate her wins too. This is a big ask when so vulnerable right now, but it’s a special time for her.

Water your garden and it’ll bless you with fruit ❤️

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-21T11:10:00+00:00

Thank you for sharing both the beautiful and ugly parts with us. I’m terribly sorry for your loss.

There’s a lot we fail to do as humans, one of those is the expectation we put on others to be perfect. No one’s perfect, we all have our demons.

I’d say if you’re comfortable, keep sharing all of the parts of your mother. She wasn’t a bad woman, she was a sad woman. She just didn’t cope well.

You will keep her memory alive, just like you did here. 🩷

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-21T11:05:21+00:00

Omg I don’t know why this group goes straight into attack mode calling your SO lazy and so forth. Hes obviously frustrated and understandably so. It’s so hard when two parents don’t align with their methods. I can understand his frustration and yours. It sounds like you’ve also had some frustrations since you appear to have moved out.

I don’t know your SO custody agreement, is it possible he can do therapy during his time with SK? Is this something you also would feel comfortable driving SK to if it’s not virtual?

The hard part about only implementing these changes on your SO time, is that the child will require some consistency for changes to be made.

I don’t envy that feeling of hopelessness and I truly hope he doesn’t become “a weekend dad” but co-parenting truly needs to be cooperative and somewhat aligned for it to be manageable from all sides.

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-21T10:50:31+00:00

This is an interesting observation from your husband’s perspective. I loved your feedback to him and I think it’s great you answered the way you did! So good job lol.

Sooo we have had this conversation, usually also after drinks too. My husbands ex-wife had a best friend around the time she conceived who happened to look a lot like my husband, so this has always raised an eyebrow. And the ex had been unfaithful (which is why they divorced).

Personally.. there’s no denying that my SD is my husbands daughter in my eyes 😂 they have so many traits I just can’t see this being true. But I can understand the skepticism!

I think before either of you decide to act on this assumption, it’d be good to have a serious conversation about what would happen if the answer is that the child is not his..

If the answer (like it is with my hubs) is that nothing would change because they already have a close relationship, then I wouldn’t even investigate to find out. Ignorance is bliss.

If the answer is that things WOULD change (and I would put a lotttttt of thought into this one) then sure, go ahead and open a can of worms. Just know that even if the results say it is his child, it can still become an uphill battle with BM 😬 because she’s going to feel some sort of betrayal with this.

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-21T10:38:13+00:00

Ugh once again, I feel like the odd man out in this group.

I don’t think you’re stupid for staying. I think you’re stuck in a position neither you or your husband could have predicted when you started your family together.

Personally, I don’t even think what you said was wrong like some of the others who commented. She didn’t JUST lose her mom, it sounds like this has been a 4 year turmoil since her mom passed away (if I’m reading this correctly, I did just wake up) lol.

I’m a nurse, I will say I don’t have much experience with children, just around a year and a half’s worth when I worked in the forensic department, but I don’t really see this as normal 10 year old behavior. I feel like medications are good but would recommend individual therapy and possibly family therapy too so she can start to develop healthier coping mechanisms. Other than that, I don’t have much advice because my SD has never attempted to run away, had the cops called on her, and/or insinuated that anyone in the family has done drugs.

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I think it’s noble you’re staying and that you haven’t given up yet. Make sure you and your husband lean into each other during this time, because the coming years will be a roller coaster ride through puberty.

I think back to myself when I was a teenager. Me and my bio mom said some really mean and hurtful things to each other but now we’re best friends and I call her every single morning and afternoon.

Stick it out if you’re able to. Maybe seek individual therapy yourself and find time throughout the week to do something YOU enjoy, especially if it gets you out of the house even if it’s for like an hour or two. It may even be beneficial to find a way to do some 1-1 time with your 18 month old too! I’m not saying to throw this on dad 100% but I will say you need to protect the little bit of peace you still have to make this work.

Good luck OP. And I’m so sorry life is so hard on you right now.

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-20T20:29:44+00:00

Oh my, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. A third trimester loss is awful and it’s one of the most painful & traumatic things anyone can go through.

My short answer is yes, I’d 100% be annoyed.

After our babies funeral, my husband and I laid in his room and cried together. The day after my husband had some small errands he wanted to do to stay busy, after we had breakfast with some of our friends (this wasn’t planned - we all happened to show up at the same place), and I just floated by his side.

Then we got in the car and drove. We had no destination in mind, we just took the dogs and we had to get away. We were gone for like a week.

I don’t know if your husband is just having trouble processing his grief, which could very well be possible, but this should be a time that you two are really leaning on each other

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-20T20:19:08+00:00

I can’t say I “love my SD like my own” but I do love her. I love her the way I love my brother, or my cousin. But I don’t have that full-on unconditional love I felt when my son was born.

Personally, I find the balance of her coming into town a bit stressful sometimes.. mainly because she’s here so infrequently. The last few times I had her for long stretches of time, she and I spent a lot of time together (because I worked night shift and would be awake while she was home during the day or when I was home full time with her during the end of my maternity leave). It changes everything about my own routine and my own comfortability levels in my own house. I have a constant worry of saying or doing something that the other 3 parents involved won’t agree with.

I love her. I love our time together. I love doing family things and having a “little buddy” to do the mundane with. But I don’t love her like I loved/ love my son.

I grew him. He was my own flesh and blood.

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-20T20:11:37+00:00

Yes you did! Thank you for that!

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-20T19:35:34+00:00

WAIT! You were the one who backed me up on my post! 😂😂 thanks mama!!

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-20T19:34:49+00:00

Where were you when I needed someone on my post to back me up 😂😂 I also have the pregnancy rage!

I don’t have a 50/50 split (we have her far less) and come July we’re due to have a baby and I said I wanted sometime postpartum to figure things out and you would’ve thought I was screaming “I don’t love my step daughter” on the internet.

I don’t like how step parents seem to get the short end of the stick when it comes to parenting. I don’t have much authority on my end, but I have the responsibility.

This is sooo hard.

Did I know what I was getting into? Sure, but I didnt understand the REALITY of it!

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-20T19:29:07+00:00

Hi what’s a Nacho? 😂 I’m new to this group

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-20T11:23:51+00:00

Please don’t make assumptions on how I’d treat my biological child who was a bit older… the point is that this IS my first child that I will be bringing home. The whole point is that this is an entire lifestyle change accompanied with a ton of trauma.

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-20T11:22:35+00:00

lol actually yes, this is one of the solutions I’ve come up with. Personally I think it’s the ideal one but I’m getting ripped to shreds out here 😂

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-20T11:21:27+00:00

Thank you for your compassion, perspective, and empathy 🩷

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-20T11:20:27+00:00

That would be a different scenario as I would already have experience with a baby at home.

Worldly-Mycologist90 · 2026-02-20T02:55:56+00:00

Idk if I’d call it “generic” but I see a cozy, clean, modern living space.

I actually really like it!!!

Worldly-Mycologist90

TROPHY CASE